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  1. #21
    Junior Member Chesire Tower's Avatar
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    I relate so much to all of this.
    It isn't necessary to believe everything is true, only what is necessary. ~Kafka [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] World Wildlife Fund SO/SX 5w4 4w5 1w9 - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  2. #22
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    My best fantasy would be to have a lot of money to anonymously give to people so their lives could be stable, happy, and they could reach their potential, but I'd prefer to have limited interaction.

    I care about people but weary quickly of what happens when self interest enters the picture. Even the nicest people will throw you under the bus to get their needs met. I like to help but only with effective boundaries in place.

    Edit: Just a recent mundane example- a student cancels their lesson a couple hours before so I'm nice enough to reschedule for the next day which they also miss. I come early and wait for them watching in the lobby and no show. They call the office wanting another makeup claiming I stood them up. Bleh and yet so common as behavior goes in people.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)
    Likes Destiny liked this post

  3. #23
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post

    I care about people but weary quickly of what happens when self interest enters the picture. Even the nicest people will throw you under the bus to get their needs met. I like to help but only with effective boundaries in place.
    .

    Yup.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  4. #24
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    One thing that drives me a bit nutty about my type is that INFJs love people and are endlessly fascinated by them and want to dig deeper into their psyches but on the other hand get quickly exhausted by too much people contact, crave their own space again and keep every intruder into their private sphere at bay by giving them monosyllabic answers and the "Go away" look.

    Also I hate small talk, it is incredibly exhausting for me so combined with me needing a lot of alone-time I probably come off as a mixed messenger to people. I really like people but pull away as soon as I am exhausted, don't feel understood or feel that there won't be a deeper connection (the relationship seems like a waste of time without that) but once I have recharged I am back all witty and lively.

    How do other INFJs deal with that paradox? I want to know people and want to be known deeply but the steps to reach that end just seem exhausting, too many awkward, lukewarm conversations in between.

    Any thoughts?
    Because I am incredibly tired and acting out of character, just go on the forum here in your room alone and like everyone here. Best of both worlds.

  5. #25
    The Lost One Nico_D's Avatar
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    Yeah, small talk is exhausting. I can do it but when I have to do it, I can feel my brain cells dying. I try to listen what the other is saying and I find myself slipping away, thoughts start meander and I have to snap myself out of it to get a hold of the punch line. Some people don't even understand subtle clues that I've had enough - I start to slowly move away and say something alike "yeah, that's terrible, but it was nice..." and then they keep going on.

    But that tug-o-war, it's tough. I really would like to find a good friend who's got good manners - and some modest intellect wouldn't bother either. But I haven't seen anyone (outside of my family) in six months, so...
    "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd."
    - Bernard Russell

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