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  1. #11

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    Yes, I can relate to the tug of war between wanting to connect and needing twice as much time to recharge batteries while being in solitude. I find topics like these very encouraging.
    Nothing, nothing, nothing is impossible with GOD.

  2. #12
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Talking Why I love my INFJ friend

    Written today from her:
    I feel bad to say this but I'm glad I won't be working with her anymore. She comes into my office to ask for the heater or to look out of my window behind my chair. A lot of the times she doesn't even say anything and walks into my office like it belongs to her or her assistant. This freaking arrogant ass! I know for a fact that she thinks she is better than anybody but she would never admit it because that would be bad and evil...Then, just now, she came in, looked at my lunch and asks: what is it? what's in it? "MIND YOUR OWN FREAKING BUSINESS BITCH! LET ME EAT!" Do I ever come to your cub and ask what the hell you're eating? These people needs some 101 class in social interaction. Ugh!!!
    Also gets upset when she's not invited somewhere even though she would politely decline.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #13
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    ok whom of you introverts drank the last Scotch ? Tell me I will find out nevertheless !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #14
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Also gets upset when she's not invited somewhere even though she would politely decline.
    Ha, I'm guilty of this. Not really upset but a little annoyed.

    This thread = story of my life.

  5. #15
    Senior Member amelie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    ok whom of you introverts drank the last Scotch ? Tell me I will find out nevertheless !
    Not me, I don't drink.


  6. #16
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    That sounds familiar.. If it gets to the point, I'll just see myself shutting down, literally. Can be quite annoying to people - I feel myself almost like getting on a "battery mode". Then I'm just quiet and/or won't participate in anything social.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by grasshoppersings View Post
    Yes, I can relate to the tug of war between wanting to connect and needing twice as much time to recharge batteries while being in solitude. I find topics like these very encouraging.
    Have you ever gotten into a disagreement with a friend over this? I have and she didn't understand it as she over books herself all the time. I can't tell you how many times she's blown me off over the years. And then she becomes impatient when I can't open up in a nanosecond.
    Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
    -Alice in Wonderland

  8. #18
    Junior Member Andy Quellenlicht's Avatar
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    I have a huge need for battery recharge and need hours of beeing alone before going back to active communication - well, the internet helps, because writing is not so draining. this need to recuperate is not always easy, since I live in a family with two extraverts.

    imo it's largely dependent on the level of introversion somebody has.

    sometimes I wish I could live in a own house of my own and everybody would have to announce themselves before entering my private space, even my loved ones. does any of you INFJ's feel likewise? simultaneously, I love beeing among people I like or love... how full of tensions this is...

  9. #19
    Senior Member scortia's Avatar
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    All I have to add is god I hate small talk. I can fake it but it's SO TIRING. I'm a teacher and I think most of the teachers at my school think I'm snooty because I need alone time during lunch. I can't bare to sit in the teachers' lounge with them because I know they talk about a lot of nothing (or just complain about their jobs) the entire time.

    Social interaction really is physically exhausting too. I'm wiped at 3pm every day. It's like I just have to be "ON" for so long. Unfortunately for me, and not my students, I'm in the front of class teaching almost the entire time so I never have off time for recuperation to speak off.

    The only conversation that doesn't exhaust me much is complete silliness (which I get with my friends) or relaxed contemplative discussion (which I rarely get anywhere but the internet). I do eventually tire of silly conversation because it leaves me with an emptiness over time as well...

  10. #20
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Default

    i zigzag back and forth between needing friends and needing alone time.
    i don't like neighbors to come over, but i love to drop in on them.
    i genuinely like all the neighborhood children, but don't want them in my house
    to me it's a perfect day if the phone doesn't ring at all.
    by bff (sfp) still invites me to music in the park even though i haven't gone for 10 years.
    i prefer to hike alone
    the other day i therapized 3 friends in one day.
    i felt very fulfilled and very tired
    i also get my feelings hurt if i'm not invited, but i'll probably decline anyway
    i don't really like hanging out with more than one other person at a time
    unless i'm in the mood and then i can be very lively and funny
    or unless i'm hosting a potluck and then i just wander around aimlessly trying to mingle and feeling stretched in too many directions and guilty cuz i'm not really talking to everyone individually.
    i hate small talk but i control my environment so well now (i've learned!) that i rarely have to endure anything uncomfortable for me any more.
    i avoid obligations except to my immediate family, and few closest friends.
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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