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  1. #61
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    So, for example, if you were thinking about something, you wouldn't find it as needful to have another person to bounce ideas off of to clarify or ignite your own thoughts?

    Would they want someone to come around if they were sick or feeling down or would they prefer their own space at that time?

    Would they not care quite as much about other people's reactions to their thoughts/feeling/opinions/wishes?

    What other ways might they not need people as much?
    before i answer these questions i must openly admit that i am not the most emotionally healthy INFP, so it may be quite a bit different for most people.


    I often find that i develop ideas better when i'm thinking on my own. Being around people often inhibits my thought process and mental preparedness.

    If i am sick or feeling down I'd prefer that no one come around me. I usually feel good just knowing that someone cared. If my best friend doesn't hear from me for awhile he always sends me some sort of a message letting me know that he loves me and is worried, and that is always enough. No visits are necessary. if i'm extremely sick, like about to die, I'd want my close friends around and people that make me happy. Usually when I'm feeling really down i isolate myself completely so no one actually has the opportunity to come around.

    Generally speaking i don't care much about what people think or feel about my opinions etc., because they are personal, and I'm not going to sugar coat what i believe or feel or think. I do often worry about offending people though. I feel really bad if i make someone unhappy with me, but i think it has to do with a lack of self esteem.
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  2. #62
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    JJJ - I'm thinking only of you being a delicate shade of medium-deep turquoise in your spirits, not navy blue. Or maybe you have that achy flu, but aren't in the hospital. My normal reaction would be quickly dropping off lemons to make good getting well stuff with, or getting something they had run out of to save them having to leave the house, like gingerale for sick stomach or something and then leaving right away. But I'd only do that for someone I was close to. I'm not sure how much imposing you people would want and I'm naturally hyper-sensitive against any imposing myself in any way on any one if they show even the faintest signs of non-appreciation for it. See this is why we pussyfoot around you. We just aren't sure what you all want!
    Ah, ok. Then I'd leave it a few days before a visit, and only make it the one for physical illness. Depression and even melancholy are a bit different. I tend to resent people for interrupting me in that state, but in retrospect (in most cases) I can see that it's absolutely the best thing for me. And even when I resent the intrusion, I still value the care it shows. That's assuming I correctly interpreted their motives.

  3. #63
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    So should they do it anyway even if you resent it at the time or let you wallow in gloom and misery till the mental clouds disperse?

  4. #64

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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    And even when I resent the intrusion, I still value the care it shows.
    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    My normal reaction would be quickly dropping off lemons to make good getting well stuff with, or getting something they had run out of to save them having to leave the house, like gingerale for sick stomach or something and then leaving right away.
    OR you could just send a package.

  5. #65
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    In the mail? Lemons? You'll be well by then. I'll just email and not expect to hear back. That should be good enough.

  6. #66
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    So should they do it anyway even if you resent it at the time or let you wallow in gloom and misery till the mental clouds disperse?
    Ha, it isn't always "wallowing". Sometimes things just need to be worked through and they aren't happy things. I had an ESFP mother who was always of the opinion that you should smile in all circumstances and find ways to distract yourself when you were down. Put on a cheery face - preach it til you get it. I strongly believe that's unhelpful at times - addressing the symptom rather than the cause.

    However, I think all INFPs enjoy a good, unhelpful wallow at times. Maybe everyone does (except ESFPs). This can be part of a natural emotional cycle but if they get stuck there then they may well need some loving intervention. Even if it is annoying at the time. The kind of intervention they probably won't appreciate is the kind which looks more like exasperation or judgement. "I'm sick of your shit, get it together because you're being selfish and weak!"

  7. #67
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I totally agree with your first paragraph. Faking it till you make it works for small things, but not for a real issue that needs to be worked out. What kind of intervention to you suggest in the second paragraph?

  8. #68
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Default Blah Blah Blah On The Nature of Fi

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I actually started this thread with her in mind and with ENTPs in mind. A lot of the ENTPs I've talked to and associated with on this forum are wary of Fi and don't understand it or trust it. I figured they'd be attacking this thread by now, I'm actually surprised.
    No, they don't want to set off an endless round of shrill passive-aggressive hurt recrimination. LOLOLOLOL.

    But, I'm sure they've already hashed out how they loathe Fi-doms in their sekret ENTP pow-wow room somewhere.

    But really, there are a lot of "anti" Fi/INFP/ENP already, so that's probably why.

    I can't really say why other people would like/dislike Fi doms myself so I'll just wait for more responses.

    I do have some comments on Fi, though:

    I will say though Fidelia, from my personal experience, and I've said this before and had a lot of other INFP members concru, INFPs are generally *not* warm or demonstrative. Or even very expressive.

    A person can be introverted but approachable and even friendly, but there is almost a prickly, guarded quality to them. Or else they have a really soft and kind, almost dreamy quality to them (i.e. lost in their own worlds LOL) Whatever it is they are really experiencing, their ego, it's deep on the inside away from your direct view and guarded. That's for sure.

    People often mistake "F" for 'nice'. "F" crudely and in a nutshell, just means you experience the world emotionally. Everyone has emotions, but "F"s just own the hell out of our emotions and live in them, no processing, no rationalizing, no denying, just BAM.

    INFPs more often than not seem pretty aloof. Being so Fi and feeling so much internally in a way (unless supported by a lot of Fe?) it 'maxes out' the persons resources and almost immobilizes the person's ability to extravert any more "emotion". And if you are very Fi dom and very sensitive, and don't have a lot of support (Fe/Ti/Te) to shield you from the effects of "pure Fi" and/or have had negative experiences with others in the past trampling your Fi, you will consciously withdraw further to protect yourself and that's on top of the unconscious internal orienting you already do. Then you will be hella prickly and/or standoffish, lol.

    At least, that's my take on it.

    But to me, maybe because I am also Fi dom (and an extravert, and grew up in a house full of extreme introverted Ts), the prickliness and "off on an invisible cloud somewhere I can't see" quality doesn't faze me. I feel like I can see past the prickliness and I know there is a warm gooey Fi center that feels familiar to me if I show you that you can trust me with it.

    Oh, and Fi apparently is really kooky but I don't know why. I think most people on this forum though, regardless of type, like kookiness?

    Yeah, people say ENFPs can be eccentric but mang, you INFPs can be fucking kooky. I love it!

    Fi is also like a code and unless you have the reader (the values, the cosmic view, the belief system) the Fi-dom can seem to have a predictable pattern of behavior and then BAM! What happened?
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  9. #69
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    PS Can some Fe users chime in on Fi if they have not already? That's what I'm really interested in.

    Protean? Pink?

    Fe-doms, your input is requested!
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

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  10. #70
    Senior Member Lurker's Avatar
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    I have to work too hard to figure out how they feel. I'm not comfortable with quiet brooding. Just say how you feel, for god's sake. Quit using your feelings as a weapon.

    Also, if I go out of my way to comfort you, don't act huffy. It's hard for me to do in the first place. Appreciate a simple gesture rather than viewing it as inadequate because I didn't follow some script that is known only to you.

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