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  1. #1
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Unhappy Have any other NFs felt like this?

    I don't know why but a lot of times I feel like every time a girl recognizes me in some sort of social situation it means somehow by the will of the cosmos she's destined to be my "star 'crossed lover" or in other words the guy she "has sex on," jokes, but a lot of times I cant help myself from feeling this way. It could be the slightest thing; a simple handwave from afar and I'll immediately become lovesick for almost no reason. This in turn starts an obsession with the girl which only ends when I have become lovesick for another girl. And it goes on and on and on. :/

    It's extremely irritating for me, because one side of my brain is telling me to get real and return to Earth from my seemingly never ending "space-cadet"ing, while the other side of my brain is telling me to keep exploring the outer depths of the universe that is my psyche. LAWL, soz for the existentialism but it's very annoying for me and I'd like other people's opinions and it'd be cool to see if any other INFPs/NFs have felt like this.

    Peace

  2. #2
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    I've experienced this lately. T_T; I feel it towards every decent guy I meet, like a baby bird seeing its mother for the first time.

    I attribute it to that I'm eager to enter another dating relationship. I get my hopes up very quickly if I see someone promising. Or, they do something that just feels "meaningful" to me, and it intrigues me.

    Fortunately, this passes really quickly.

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    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    Fortunately, this passes really quickly.
    lucky you

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    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metaphours View Post
    lucky you
    Mainly, it's because it involves people that I meet briefly and never see again. If I really like someone, I will admire them FOREVER and my feelings will never die!

    Tell me: are you busy? Do you have other things to think about other than that girl? Do you have a good support system of friends?

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    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    Tell me: are you busy? Do you have other things to think about, other than that girl? Do you have a good support system of friends?
    Hah no, I find myself a lot of times just sitting around thinking about things, and when I'm in a lovesick mood (i.e., 99.9% of the time) all my thoughts just end up re-routing themselves to that one girl. I guess I do have my hobbies, when I get in a real poetic/creative-y mood (which can be quite common, lawl), I'll forget everything that's going on in my life and just focus on that one thing. So I guess maybe I should start focusing on my writing moar? Idk, haha. And eh I have an OK support system of friends, considering I move around all the time and have to make new friends quite often as opposed to growing up with the same friends. But the main thing is, is I feel like I can't really get emotional and talk about shit with my friends haha. Whenever I do, I end up rambling about endless things and the person either ends up getting bored or wants to change the subject. Only rarely will I be able to talk to my friends about my truly personal thoughts and stuff.

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    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metaphours View Post
    Hah no, I find myself a lot of times just sitting around thinking about things, and when I'm in a lovesick mood (i.e., 99.9% of the time) all my thoughts just end up re-routing themselves to that one girl. I guess I do have my hobbies, when I get in a real poetic/creative-y mood (which can be quite common, lawl), I'll forget everything that's going on in my life and just focus on that one thing. So I guess maybe I should start focusing on my writing moar? Idk, haha. And eh I have an OK support system of friends, considering I move around all the time and have to make new friends quite often as opposed to growing up with the same friends. But the main thing is, is I feel like I can't really get emotional and talk about shit with my friends haha. Whenever I do, I end up rambling about endless things and the person either ends up getting bored or wants to change the subject. Only rarely will I be able to talk to my friends about my truly personal thoughts and stuff.
    -nodds- Ok. I'm the same as you. Even if I have other stuff going on, my mind drifts to that person.

    I'd say, figure out what you gain by thinking about the girl. What do you want from her? For me, I was obsessed with this guy for the longest time. [I'm talking YEARS.] What I wanted from him was actually to be at his level, because I always saw him as waay out of my league [and was desperate to impress him]. Now that I feel up to par with him, I don't think about him as much, although we're good friends. There was a reason other than me liking him that caused all of the thoughts.

  7. #7
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    I'd say, figure out what you gain by thinking about the girl. What do you want from her? For me, I was obsessed with this guy for the longest time. [I'm talking YEARS.] What I wanted from him was actually to be at his level, because I always saw him as waay out of my league. Now that I feel up to par with him, I don't think about him as much, although we're good friends. There was a reason other than me liking him that caused all of the thoughts.
    Haha, I was obsessed with this one girl for almost 2 years, but then (FINALLY) I got over her a little while ago (we're talking like mid-May 2009, haha) But my mind still goes drifts back to her sometimes. But I can relate to everything you just said in that last post, haha. A lot of times I understand that the girl I'm chasing is just way out of my league, but like I said earlier, I'll just keep persisting on chasing her for almost no reason it seems :/

  8. #8
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metaphours View Post
    Haha, I was obsessed with this one girl for almost 2 years, but then (FINALLY) I got over her a little while ago (we're talking like mid-May 2009, haha) But my mind still goes drifts back to her sometimes. But I can relate to everything you just said in that last post, haha. A lot of times I understand that the girl I'm chasing is just way out of my league, but like I said earlier, I'll just keep persisting on chasing her for almost no reason it seems :/
    There's ALWAYS a reason. Often, there's more than one, and they may be hard to spot. I honestly think that it is a confidence thing, for me at least. Or, I'm just bored because I have nothing more interesting going on. And I relate to you with the same loop of thought repeating itself.

  9. #9
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    There's ALWAYS a reason. Often, there's more than one, and they may be hard to spot. I honestly think that it is a confidence thing, for me at least. Or, I'm just bored because I have nothing more interesting going on. And I relate to you with the same loop of thought repeating itself.
    Hmm, I concur. hahaha
    But yeah, confidence is a major factor for me because a lot of the chicks (in Feminist language "bright young ladies") I feel this way about I can never approach and talk to on a serious level. Hell, most of 'em I can't even talk to on a non serious level, bahah. But the whole lovesickness issue becomes even WORSE when I begin a truly friendly relationship with the girl (which consists of me truly coming out of my shell and being the extremely dorky and totally funneh/charming guy I can be) because then I REALLY begin to like the girl and I begin to fear that she doesn't feel the same way/I begin to fantasize that she DOES feel the same way.

  10. #10
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    moar help? prease?

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