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  1. #1
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Default ENFPs... would people describe you as an extravert?

    I know many of us have mentioned not feeling very extraverted and now that I know more about mbti I get that i function like an extravert. I just don't think it's very apparent to others....do you know what i mean? that extraverted attitude...i mean does anyone ever think you're kind of quiet...or soft spoken?

    or what?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  2. #2
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    You know, I used to think of myself as an introverted extrovert but not as much these days. I think outsiders base perceived extraversion on 3 factors

    1) Your confidence level
    2) Your outgoing-ness, literally do you engage people or wait to be engaged? Do you offer your own opinions, assistance, invite people, make suggestions, etc. or do you observe or are more receptive?
    3) Your activity levels

    I think because of these 3 things, I strike 75% of the people I know 75% of the time as an extravert? Apaprently I can give the appearance of being busy and confident and I definitely don't always feel busy and/or confident.

    I like to try to get people to do things together or let them know what I'm up to, and I talk a LOT and like to talk to people in general and hear from them. I can also be pretty hopped on my own natural high and used to have very high energy levels. I'm generally cheery and don't hide that I like to have a good time.

    Actually, some more introverted types question whether or not I "ever" spend time alone or reflect, it's a little insulting! LOL. But as you people on this forum can obviously see, I spend a looooooot of time alone and online! LOLOLohhhhh - wait is that really funny?

    Sometimes people have trouble guessing or believing that I am a Libra (especially other Libras!) because of my "extraversion" or energy which I'm not sure how to take, lol. I think some people think I am "loud"?

    I remember a member CaptainNemo (unless he changed his name I never see him here anymore) made the observation that ENFPs can seem introverted because we don't get extraverted until we get interested. Meaning our Ne is engaged.

    I used to wonder about this too. I don't burst into spontaneous small talk with cashiers at the grocery store, depending on what kind of work I'm doing I can be very quiet and social interaction is not even a thought in my mind, I'm usually guarded and self-contained on public transportation and in public in general unless it's a social function with people I know or I'm in a very good mood (Ne being allowed out to play!)

    I kinda think most people are like this to a certain degree - you're not gonna let it all out all the time. When you're waiting in line at the DMV can you really tell who all the extraverts are? Or eating a restaurant can you spot all the extraverts? Or when you're camping or shopping? You can probably tell one or two of the obvious picks, but even that might be situational.

    Anecdote: When my skin was breaking out something turrible I saw an aesthetician for like a year (she even hired me to do some copywriting for her) who was more a "true" extravert, I think she was ESFP. She became friends with a lot of her regular clients and worked in real estate successfully for a few years. She was actually hired based on her personality by a massage client. She totally thought I was an introvert and said she thought I was more suited to be a lawyer (INTP! IXTJ) than a real estate agent which I was studying for at the time, LOL.

    So it really depends on the context that you get to know me I guess. I totally agree though, those "typically extraverted qualities" are not just dampened but just turned off in a number of situations and sometimes routinely.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  3. #3
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Well I think part of the problem is that people don't understand what Extraversion and Introverson are.

    The following is a quote from "What Type Am I?", by Renee Baron.

    BARON:
    Those who prefer Extraverting get their energy from the outer world of people, activities, and things.
    (Notice how she includes THINGS, not just people and activites)

    BARON:
    Those who prefer Introverting get their energy from their inner world of ideas impressions, and thoughts.

    You see, people get off track when they put the emphasis on how much someone talks or socializes.

    The key difference between Extraversion and Introversion is not whether someone talks a lot or not, but whether they get energy from the OUTER WORLD or their own INNER WORLD.

    The next important point is that what people DO with that energy varies.

    Extraverts get energy from the outside world.
    Sometimes Extraverts pour that energy into more talking and socializing, and
    sometimes they pour it into a solitary activity.

    Introverts get energy from their own inner world.
    Sometimes they pour that energy into more solitary activities, and sometimes they pour that energy into talking and socializing.


    In conclusion, you can not tell whether someone is an Extravert or an Introvert solely on the basis of how much they talk or socialize.

    It would be nice if it were that simple, but understanding personality type goes beyond looking at the surface of things.

  4. #4
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    thanks for posting that wonka. i was just talking with someone a bit about this at work the other day...it's a new job but you can tell who the obvious extraverts are...and i'm not one of them...he said that i seem kind of quiet and soft spoken....and...anyway it made me wonder about other enfps.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #5
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    It's true that MBT/Typeology definitions of extravert/introvert are different from what's socially accepted as introvert/extrovert.

    Everything about MBT classification starts from your internal motivations/fears and processes and what other people see on the outside is secondary or symptomatic (okay not quite the right word).

    But people in the 'real world' on a day to day basis form judgements of you based on how you actand portray yourself and "come across" within a 20 second, 5 minute, 6 week etc. span and that's how they know and classify you until they get to know you better (and most don't and never will)

    LadyX, I thought you were asking whether or not people peg us as extroverts based on the popular, not MBT, definition of extravert/introvert?

    Because yeah, I think a lot of ENFPs can fly under the radar, particularly if they are of the really laid-back energy variety. There is definitely an automatic response to classify people who are quieter as introverted and with a soft-spoken extravert, you would need to be around them longer to see their patterns emerge.

    The popular conception of 'introvert/extrovert' and the typeology definition can be at odds in other ways too. I have seen some of the most insanely loud, outgoing, brash, socially engaging and organizing, high activity level people call themselves "extreme introverts". I have no idea how they could keep up their non 24/7 non stop high levels of voluntary social interaction with tons of people that they do without some negative consequence, I swear it even makes me tired. I kinda suspect one guy I know who says this of being an ENFP.

    Then again, introverts can be hella active and go out constantly as well as be very involved in 'extracurricular' social planning and volunteer work. I think Protean Mix even commented on this before, too.

    I also think you can be introverted and seemingly very busy and "socializing" but it's not as draining as one would tihnk because you're not focusing or even totally engaging with each person. I think it has to do with the internal orientation the introvert is taking to the situation as well.

    Okay, I'm ramblign now! Break!
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #6
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Actually I have seen this in someone I am somewhat sure is ENFP. He has such a wide circle of friends and social activities that I don't think he could be an introvert, but he is very soft-spoken and a little bit distant, so I hesitated to type him as ENFP. Now I am fairly sure that that's what he is

  7. #7
    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
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    People can definitely tell, without a doubt, that I am an extravert.

    Because you can't spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"

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    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    To answer the original question,

    Yes---people have actually called me an Introvert on numerous occasions---and I suspect that there are more people who have thought I was Introverted.

    I am often quiet and soft-spoken, and I often do solitary activities.

    Also, I do not generally have lots of friends and acquaintances.

    These things might cause many people to conclude that I am Introverted, but it would not be a correct conclusion.

    I am a "moderately expressed" Extravert, but an Extravert nonetheless.

  9. #9
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Everything about MBT classification starts from your internal motivations/fears and processes and what other people see on the outside is secondary or symptomatic (okay not quite the right word).

    But people in the 'real world' on a day to day basis form judgements of you based on how you actand portray yourself and "come across" within a 20 second, 5 minute, 6 week etc. span and that's how they know and classify you until they get to know you better (and most don't and never will)

    LadyX, I thought you were asking whether or not people peg us as extroverts based on the popular, not MBT, definition of extravert/introvert?

    Because yeah, I think a lot of ENFPs can fly under the radar, particularly if they are of the really laid-back energy variety. There is definitely an automatic response to classify people who are quieter as introverted and with a soft-spoken extravert, you would need to be around them longer to see their patterns emerge.
    Yes, that is very important to understand.

    I think it would be a good thread topic on its own.

    Would you consider doing one? Or would you mind if I start one and quote what you said?

    Well done---especially the bolded parts.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    I'm not sure. People who know me well would. I do love to be out doing things and I can talk to a lot of people. When I go to a party I'll talk to half the people there, and don't have time to talk to the other half. I'm confident socially too.

    Some times I just don't click in conversation with others or I'm just content to listen to others talk. So if someone confused me as an introvert I wouldn't be surprised.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

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