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  1. #1
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Default Any NFs ever denied loving someone?

    I've done it twice, and can't begin to explain it. Both times were with people I have felt almost a soul connection with-the only two people for whom the feeling lasted for any real length of time and stood the test of reality. The denials both happened in the same way.

    Once, was a childhood best guy friend(ISFP?). He was the first person for whom I ever felt a "sacrificial" love. He confronted me years into our friendship, after already making it obvious that he liked me, and just simply said,"Do you like me?" I looked him dead in the face and said no, and in turn, he raged at me and told me to never talk to him again...until the next day when he acted as though everything was fine.

    The other time I did this was as an adult with another close guy friend, but we had a mutually understood liking of each other. I had no issue with flirting with him, or hanging out with him with it being understood by most that we were into each other, but when I fell for him, it was in a way I had/have never experienced. Just knowing that he existed made the world "work" for me. I didn't need him to be mine, although I would've liked it, but I felt immensely blessed just to have had him in my life. Just watching him move, hearing him talk, and being in his circle likely added another 20 years onto my life. Nonetheless, we had at one point(intoxicated) a conversation about our feelings that he started...he dreamed about me all the time, couldn't stop thinking about me, had no clue what it was about me exactly(besides everything) but that something just "seemed insanely right" between us. I agreed. A month later, he asked me if I loved him....and....I....said....NO!

    Is it just me??

  2. #2
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Urg! A tough tough question!

    Technically... I love everybody. As a general rule of thumb, I love everybody on a spiritual level.

    But..

    Sometimes my anger blinds me. I see selfish people and evil people doing selfish and evil things and it really gets to me sometimes. Sympathy makes me feel for everybody and angry towards those who've hurt others. So it's these people who make it tough.

    You've got to love everybody in the end. Love and hate are very powerful statements. It's much more severe than people think to say you hate somebody or that you don't love them. On the other hand, having love for somebody is also a lot deeper than people make it out to be.

    In the end, I do love everybody because I feel so deeply for others and my sympathy is so strong. I can have grudges or anger towards others who do wrong, but it doesn't change my initial statement.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  3. #3
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Urg! A tough tough question!

    Technically... I love everybody. As a general rule of thumb, I love everybody on a spiritual level.
    I never got that statement. How can one love everybody? Love is a very exclusive feeling of seeing someone else's utility as your own.

    When I hear someone say that my immediate thought is that person is either full of shit or has a bizzare definition of love.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    I never got that statement. How can one love everybody? Love is a very exclusive feeling of seeing someone else's utility as your own.

    When I hear someone say that my immediate thought is that person is either full of shit or has a bizzare definition of love.
    Let me rephrase that. I have the ability to love everybody despite of their flaws. I think that most NFs are this way too. I didn't mean that I naturally love everybody in the world, but more so that I can. In other words, I have the ability to still love a person even though they may have done wrong.

    I wouldn't say that I am full of shit, and certainly don't have a bizarre definition of love. It's the ability to see through flaws, to see good in people.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Nillerz's Avatar
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    Never admit that you love someone. It makes you vulnerable and then they don'thave totry anymore.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nillerz View Post
    Never admit that you love someone. It makes you vulnerable and then they don'thave totry anymore.
    I guess it's a risk I'd be willing to take.

    I'm not trying to sound all hippie beautiful love hearty here, I'm just saying that I think I have the general ability to love everybody. There's a difference, though. Personal love is much greater than a vast love you can share for humanity.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  7. #7
    Senior Member statuesquechica's Avatar
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    Wow...the idea of not telling the truth about loving someone is very foreign to me. I have never done that and really can't imagine doing it. When I fell in love with someone I always said it and felt prepared to deal with whatever happened, joyous or sad. Otherwise, I would feel like I was living a lie. But that's just me, I haven't walked in your shoes.
    I've looked at life from both sides now
    From up and down and still somehow
    It's life's illusions I recall
    I really don't know life at all

    Joni Mitchell

  8. #8
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Yup, and they believed me. It was just a knee-jerk response for me; I think I was more afraid of them taking liberties once I said I loved them. Can't have them thinking they're irreplaceable (even if they actually are ).

  9. #9
    Senior Member Nillerz's Avatar
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    Meh. I only say it if I've been going out with a chick for like, months and months, and even then I'm not sure if I really mean it. :<

  10. #10
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    I tell my close friends I love them sometimes, and mean it. I'm 17 and still tell my whole family I love them even in front of friends.

    I'm not afraid of what it means. I know love can always turn into heartbreak, but I know that and I would rather love unconditionally know what could always happen than being afraid of what could happen and holding love back.

    Love is something me that is itching to get out. it's the best feeling in the world, I'm like a lamp that always needs to be plugged in. Always.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

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