[NF] Any NFs ever denied loving someone?

[phthalocyanine]

short answer: yes.

 

[metaphours]

I dunno about love, but I've definitely denied liking lots of people

 

[Charmed Justice]

I did it once as a teenager, to my later sorrow and I learned from it.

Yea, I will never do this again. I regret it as well.

 

[Charmed Justice]

I KNOW for a fact that if a person I loved extra much told me he loved me romantically, I would say no even if I felt the same.

Yea, very odd. I have admitted to love other times, but the depth of emotion I felt at the time of denial almost made it such that saying "love" was not enough. Problem is, I never said what it was I was feeling, nor did I describe it, I simply denied the entire thing all together. Glad I'm not the only one.

 

[iwakar]

I've done it twice, and can't begin to explain it. Both times were with people I have felt almost a soul connection with-the only two people for whom the feeling lasted for any real length of time and stood the test of reality. The denials both happened in the same way.

Once, was a childhood best guy friend(ISFP?). He was the first person for whom I ever felt a "sacrificial" love. He confronted me years into our friendship, after already making it obvious that he liked me, and just simply said,"Do you like me?" I looked him dead in the face and said no, and in turn, he raged at me and told me to never talk to him again...until the next day when he acted as though everything was fine.

The other time I did this was as an adult with another close guy friend, but we had a mutually understood liking of each other. I had no issue with flirting with him, or hanging out with him with it being understood by most that we were into each other, but when I fell for him, it was in a way I had/have never experienced. Just knowing that he existed made the world "work" for me. I didn't need him to be mine, although I would've liked it, but I felt immensely blessed just to have had him in my life. Just watching him move, hearing him talk, and being in his circle likely added another 20 years onto my life. Nonetheless, we had at one point(intoxicated) a conversation about our feelings that he started...he dreamed about me all the time, couldn't stop thinking about me, had no clue what it was about me exactly(besides everything) but that something just "seemed insanely right" between us. I agreed. A month later, he asked me if I loved him....and....I....said....NO!

Is it just me??

ENTPs are guilty of this too. It's your fear.

 

[SillySapienne]

I've done it twice, and can't begin to explain it. Both times were with people I have felt almost a soul connection with-the only two people for whom the feeling lasted for any real length of time and stood the test of reality. The denials both happened in the same way.

Once, was a childhood best guy friend(ISFP?). He was the first person for whom I ever felt a "sacrificial" love. He confronted me years into our friendship, after already making it obvious that he liked me, and just simply said,"Do you like me?" I looked him dead in the face and said no, and in turn, he raged at me and told me to never talk to him again...until the next day when he acted as though everything was fine.

The other time I did this was as an adult with another close guy friend, but we had a mutually understood liking of each other. I had no issue with flirting with him, or hanging out with him with it being understood by most that we were into each other, but when I fell for him, it was in a way I had/have never experienced. Just knowing that he existed made the world "work" for me. I didn't need him to be mine, although I would've liked it, but I felt immensely blessed just to have had him in my life. Just watching him move, hearing him talk, and being in his circle likely added another 20 years onto my life. Nonetheless, we had at one point(intoxicated) a conversation about our feelings that he started...he dreamed about me all the time, couldn't stop thinking about me, had no clue what it was about me exactly(besides everything) but that something just "seemed insanely right" between us. I agreed. A month later, he asked me if I loved him....and....I....said....NO!

Is it just me??

I think you might be scerred, because love is scerry.

I am reckless when it comes to love, and I recklessly fall in lust or infatuation every other Tuesday.

But, when it comes to the real-deal-smack-you-in-the-facemindandheart-make-you-feel-something-real kinda love.

I face and embrace it, it comes oh so seldomly.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

Yes...usually because I could predict it not ending up being the kind of long term relationship that I need. I couldn't bring myself to hurt someone over something that wouldn't last.

 

[runvardh]

There were a few girls in high school that I conciously pushed away in order to keep my focus on obsessivly getting my ass out of high school.

 

[ergophobe]

No.

I have repressed infatuation because sometimes it appears in strange quarters. A straight friend, a clearly terrible match...in all of these situations which may happen on a bi-weekly basis, I'll acknowledge the feelings, laugh at myself (you silly person followed by gentle self-punching) and then choose to ignore them altogether and act completely normal around said person. Finally the feelings disappear, making room for pure admiration or warm affection for the person.

When I am in love or even close to it, I'm just filled with such joy and abandonment, it's irrepressible. With or without the other person, though clearly better with, I like to shout it from rooftops. I'm led so much by Ne that even a glint of possible love can't be ignored. It's overpowering.

 

[Charmed Justice]

I'm led so much by Ne that even a glint of possible love can't be ignored. It's overpowering.

I feel the same, but the words that have come out of my mouth have been completely contradictory! Like others have said, I believe it was fear. Maybe of having no control over my mind and heart. Maybe I have some strong T and J ruminating in the background somewhere.

 

[Little Linguist]

In the past, I did because I was overwhelmed by emotion. Now, I embrace it.

 

[thisGuy]

i never get whats wrong with people. always doing the exact opposite of whatever their gut tells them too.

like WTF...and then you come join online forums looking for company so you can be validated that you are not alone in your fuckedupness. rationalize it as you will, but reasoning and logic only explain it. they won't make anything better.

good luck living your life.

 

[Little Linguist]

To whom are you speaking?

 

[digesthisickness]

i never get whats wrong with people. always doing the exact opposite of whatever their gut tells them too.

like WTF...and then you come join online forums looking for company so you can be validated that you are not alone in your fuckedupness. rationalize it as you will, but reasoning and logic only explain it. they won't make anything better.

good luck living your life.

reason and logic would state that if it bothers you so much, find something else to do.

i will say this much though, i don't understand hurting someone you love by denying that you do.

 

[thisGuy]

To whom are you speaking?

noone...echoing thoughts that came to me on reading the original post.

 

[Little Linguist]

Hmm, I'd agree that when love is genuine, you have to go for it.

 

[thisGuy]

reason and logic would state that if it bothers you so much, find something else to do.

much agreed.

but i felt compelled to point out the obvious 'fuckedupness' (someone help me out here...i cant even come up with the right word for this)

 

[entropie]

Yea, I bet there were one or two who I never paied attention too

 

[Little Linguist]

Oh well, I thought you meant denying to yourself....which is just as bad I guess.

 

[BlackCat]

No. My feelings are pretty clear and definite for me, and if I like/love someone then I'd really like for the feelings to be mutual. So anything the communicates these feelings is a good thing in my opinion. I see no purpose to deny it.