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  1. #21
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    INFJs are odd people.
    Takes a real INFJ to know that, yes
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #22
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Yeah. I've seen two INFJs hang out together.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    To tie into a similar thread: since INFP's can ahve this too, what differences do you see between when this happens ot INFP's and to INFJ's? Do we "attract" for different reasons? Do we usually respond in different ways?

    Weird people don't cling to me, so I can't really contribute to the above questions.

  4. #24
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I don't know enough about the INFP experiences with attracting odd people. I think for us it is something that must seem open in our faces or body language. I know we do put up with people for longer, and since we like to classify/sort/observe/figure out people, we probably allow them to talk to us initially out of our own curiosity. This is taken as a deep understanding of and receptivity to people who often are rejected by others.

    Perhaps INFPs would be less likely to rebuff people out of dislike of conflict, where INFJs may put themselves in the other person's position so much that they could feel vividly (or think they could) how it could potentially make the other person feel badly and be reluctant to hurt them. INFPs are very willing to live and let live and take things as they come, so their easygoing tolerance would be appreciated. However, I don't know if they would feel any personal obligation to listen in the same way, which is why maybe weird people are less likely to remain clinging to you.

    Do you have people wanting to pour out their life stories to you, or what do the odd people do when they get in contact with you?

    How and when do you usually disengage yourself?

    What sort of odd people are attracted to INFPs?

  5. #25
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I don't know enough about the INFP experiences with attracting odd people. I think for us it is something that must seem open in our faces or body language. I know we do put up with people for longer, and since we like to classify/sort/observe/figure out people, we probably allow them to talk to us initially out of our own curiosity. This is taken as a deep understanding of and receptivity to people who often are rejected by others.

    Perhaps INFPs would be less likely to rebuff people out of dislike of conflict, where INFJs may put themselves in the other person's position so much that they could feel vividly (or think they could) how it could potentially make the other person feel badly and be reluctant to hurt them. INFPs are very willing to live and let live and take things as they come, so their easygoing tolerance would be appreciated. However, I don't know if they would feel any personal obligation to listen in the same way, which is why maybe weird people are less likely to remain clinging to you.

    Do you have people wanting to pour out their life stories to you, or what do the odd people do when they get in contact with you?

    How and when do you usually disengage yourself?

    What sort of odd people are attracted to INFPs?
    People have told me their life stories, but its usually because I started asking them questions and they could tell I was genuinely interested and then there life story came out. Random people in check out lines dont tell me their life story.

    I've had plenty of people share less-than-flattering details of their life, but almost never "I hate the world and want to kill people" stories. The latter category does NOT receive a compassionate audience form Scott N Denver. Its one of the few times that I will get moralistic and basically let someone know how screwed up they are and how there bad choices led them to their current screwed up conditions. Other people, they can tell I'm not too judgemental or whatever, so they'll talk about alcoholic family members, or personal drug abuse, or how there never-well-behaved son is now in jail for selling drugs, stuff like that.

    I don't normally need ot disengage because people's stories involve their life or a close relations life, and those stories naturally come to an end. When "strange" people tell me something, I usually say something like "I'm sorry things worked out that way" or the like, and usually they quit talking and walk away shortly after that. No really long stories from those people.

    We are willing to listen, and seen to have gentle easy-going accepting vibes [I think INFJ's have more off patient insightful "I enjoy learning about screwed up people" vibes [Ni]]. If someone wants a shoulder to cry on they probably come to us. IME experience really strange people don't want a shoulder to cry on, they want someone to listen to how others fucked them up and then to verbally support their assertions that others fucked them over and the crazy person had *nothing* to do with it.

  6. #26
    Senior Member statuesquechica's Avatar
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    In my experience, the people that have come up to me with their stories don't want verbal support to their assertions...they just wanted someone to listen. So I listened. When someone is reaching out why do we assume they are "screwed up" or "fucked up?" Can't they just be lonely? Why all of the condemnation?
    I've looked at life from both sides now
    From up and down and still somehow
    It's life's illusions I recall
    I really don't know life at all

    Joni Mitchell

  7. #27
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    In my experience, the people that have come up to me with their stories don't want verbal support to their assertions...they just wanted someone to listen. So I listened. When someone is reaching out why do we assume they are "screwed up" or "fucked up?" Can't they just be lonely? Why all of the condemnation?
    Again, IME no one was that "odd" in a bad way came up to tell me their life story, they just wanted to talk about some bid deal to them situation where they felt others screwed them over and so now they wanted to take their revenge.

    I listen to people. They don't get one of my very rare Scott N Denver motivational "you screwed up" talks until they start getting all emphatic that they did *nothing* wrong and others just screwed them over.

  8. #28
    Member tess2008's Avatar
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    Ya you got a talent there that's prolly why they call you the psych type.

    You should tho try to develop that instead to brag about it.


    wha? was that directed at me?
    i was just sharing.

  9. #29
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yes, there is a point in cases like that at which I lose patience and will point out what is really going on.

    However, I find that the level of oddness I encounter usually just involves people pouring out their life story without provocation and without really looking for more than an audience. It's difficult to find a point at which to get away once they have begun, especially because they seem afraid that you will do just that so don't leave many pauses for interjection. If I think they are harmless, but tiresome, I let them talk on until a set time when I will interrupt and excuse myself. If they are harmless and I think they are entertaining/interesting/thought-provoking, I'll hear them out. If they are invasive and make me feel uncomfortable in any way, I will be very direct and not allow them to continue.

  10. #30
    Senior Member amelie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statuesquechica View Post
    In my experience, the people that have come up to me with their stories don't want verbal support to their assertions...they just wanted someone to listen. So I listened. When someone is reaching out why do we assume they are "screwed up" or "fucked up?" Can't they just be lonely? Why all of the condemnation?
    I often listen, too, but I've gotten a lot better about shutting it down and saving my resources for people close to me, but it depends on the situation. Don't you find it draining?

    But when someone randomly comes up and starts talking about something very personal, it indicates to me that they are either a) so overwhelmed with all the demands in their life currently that they are leaking stress and emotion everywhere or b) lacking in appropriate social boundaries or c) both. Any of those options are huge red flags. If a) appears to be the case, I'm more supportive than if it appears to be option b. For example, I once had a woman come up to me in a grocery store and say she was looking for sunglasses to wear to her mother's funeral, and then proceeded to tell me about her mother's death and their relationship and on and on and on. I stood there for a good 15 minutes listening while she cried. Another time, at Wal-mart, a man came up to me trying to "save my soul." That one, I shut down very quickly.

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