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  1. #61
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    my advice is that you should spend less time with Ni scanning for connections and more time going out and actively making them. use Te to get better information. if you use Te and are direct, you will have a much better chance to learn what you want to know. and expressing yourself in this way, you'll get better/feel more comfortable doing it in the future. gotta protect those Fi feelings, yes, but can't get stuck using them to find negative Ni justifications everywhere. many many things are easily fixable and intjs usually have plenty of ideas to go about it.

    intjs come off as rude and harsh at times. but they can fucking communicate very well when they use their Te. directness is the key. and time to let it sift afterward.

  2. #62
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    ^ Word.

  3. #63
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    I'm not very happy with ENFPs at present and feel like it's not worth your trouble or pain (I suppose you're forced to seeing as he's a coworker, but otherwise, just walk away). Look at all the accomodating you're doing when this person is pouting in a corner like a little (cruel) child. The fuck.
    Quote Originally Posted by supern View Post
    Many a girl throw themselves at the ENFP boy, and the ENFP boy loses interest in many a girl. It happens every day.

    You must manipulate him in the coldest way to win his heart. First, reject him. This will drive him wild. Then, hold him between rejection and acceptance. He'll love it and will love you for it.

    This seems evil but really you're doing him a sadistic service that he'll find intensely pleasurable and that only the most worthy girl can deliver. He might just marry you.

    NOW GO FORTH AND CONQUER!
    Here here. I mean, the guys already running games and thats probably not likely to change even if you all do start dating again. Eventually itll just end up meaning more and more compromise on your part; nothing will ever be his fault, ever. Unless this guy is Einstein with the body of Brad Pitt 20 years ago you can find another, fairly easily in all probability. And if you notice the second quote, it is undoubtable that the lack of attention will leave him just riveted because its soo much more exciting than a frank adult discussion. I think you should let it ride, or find an ENTP who is basically the same thing except you wont have to debase yourself every time you engage in a little friendly banter.

  4. #64
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-up Rex View Post
    I mean, the guys already running games and thats probably not likely to change even if you all do start dating again. Eventually itll just end up meaning more and more compromise on your part; nothing will ever be his fault, ever. And if you notice the second quote, it is undoubtable that the lack of attention will leave him just riveted because its soo much more exciting than a frank adult discussion.
    Wow. This is pretty darn brutal. I disagree. I don't think he's playing games. I also think he would be willing to have a frank adult discussion. I believe this is a good old fashioned case of "he got his feelings hurt." Just my humble opinion. Don't give up OP.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-up Rex View Post
    I think you should let it ride, or find an ENTP who is basically the same thing except you wont have to debase yourself every time you engage in a little friendly banter.
    ENFPs are QUITE capable of friendly banter, thank you very much!

  5. #65
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-up Rex View Post
    Here here. I mean, the guys already running games and thats probably not likely to change even if you all do start dating again. Eventually itll just end up meaning more and more compromise on your part; nothing will ever be his fault, ever. Unless this guy is Einstein with the body of Brad Pitt 20 years ago you can find another, fairly easily in all probability. And if you notice the second quote, it is undoubtable that the lack of attention will leave him just riveted because its soo much more exciting than a frank adult discussion. I think you should let it ride, or find an ENTP who is basically the same thing except you wont have to debase yourself every time you engage in a little friendly banter.
    There is no way to know for us on the forum what he's like. So you might have a point. Personally, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. She seems to really like him, so why not give it another shot and get rid of the original obstacle. We often need a moment to get to know an NT in order to get acquainted with their kind of humor and estimate what you joke about and what is serious business for you. Much like many NTs need a moment to get the flirting and socializing right
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #66
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    Wow. This is pretty darn brutal. I disagree. I don't think he's playing games. I also think he would be willing to have a frank adult discussion. I believe this is a good old fashioned case of "he got his feelings hurt." Just my humble opinion. Don't give up OP.
    And I respect that. However, from my experience with ENFs, even if the frank conversation comes to pass and everything is back to the way that it was, there will still be a certain kind of interaction expected how and when and if he likes it. Im not saying that compromise isnt necessary in any relationship. But I have noticed a tendency on the part of ENFs to use their sensitivity as leverage on those closest to them. My point is that, the kind of guy that would do this hot/cold nonsense indicates a person whos basically only interested in himself, or lacks the courage of his feeling. And I think that the OP, rather than wandering about and imaging every slander towards him should remember the simple fact that hes rudely brushing her off after leading her on and that shes hurt.

    Scientist, if he really interests you, then you should talk to this guy. You should ask him what his deals been, and if he tells you you hurt him go from there. But the fact that you "wounded his masculinity" or whatever in the past, doesnt mean you should have to approach him like a freakin supplicant for ever after. Finally Id like to point out that-- despite the fact that they were talked down--most of the NTJ women whove weighed in on this have given you the same advice, which should tell you something.

  7. #67
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    There is no way to know for us on the forum what he's like. So you might have a point. Personally, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. She seems to really like him, so why not give it another shot and get rid of the original obstacle. We often need a moment to get to know an NT in order to get acquainted with their kind of humor and estimate what you joke about and what is serious business for you. Much like many NTs need a moment to get the flirting and socializing right
    And once again, it is entirely possible that this guy is the greatest thing ever and all this is just a silly misunderstanding. But that doesnt change the fact that there can be a slippery and seductive slope in dealing with NFs where the ideal amount of balance and compromise is "the point where the NF is happy and petted", because NTs dont make as big of a deal about their emotional needs so they end up getting sidelined. Scientist would not be wrong to be pissed off at this guy, and put-off by his behavior and that doesnt have to be measured or justified in terms of anyone else.

    Oh, and PS, you must have mistaken us for something else, because last I checked the ENT crowd had much game (and the INTs are trainable!).

  8. #68
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    I don't have time to elaborate now, but just for the record in case anyone wonders, this female INTJ with 7 years of experience with a male ENFP, including a few excellent years that I partially credit with making me such a well-rounded INTJ (still working on the modesty though! ), totally disagrees with Wind-up Rex!

    (You gave us Argumentum ad numerum, I counter with Argumentum ad verecundiam. )

  9. #69
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    this should be captioned dominant Te runs amok!

  10. #70
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    ^^^I immediately thought of this.
    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyhhFzE5O5U"]Te Amok Time[/YOUTUBE]




    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    (You gave us Argumentum ad numerum, I counter with Argumentum ad verecundiam. )
    Any good orator knows to keep in mind her audience when making an appeal. As you may expect, Im generally more of an ad baculum girl.

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