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  1. #101
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    Maybe he thinks you're not interested. As an NFP, I suggest that you talk to him, and ponder the option that you may have inadvertently hurt him, because I know I can take NTJs the wrong way sometimes.

    I think if he's interested and you approach him without sarcasm, he'll open up. If he doesn't talk to you after that, then at least you'll know that he's just not interested so you can have closure in this situation.

  2. #102
    Lasting_Pain
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Why not?

    Hmm, my bad. If it is only a friendship then my advice is not needed. But if you are pursing a relationship with him, then you would not want to receive my advice. You are making a smart choice in putting him in the friends category, even if you aren't aware it is a smart choice.

  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    --UPDATE--

    Thanks to everyone for their insight.

    I returned to work today and everything went great. I didn't have 'the talk' with him. He was very amicable and flirty and just generally very nice to me so I didnt think it was necessary. It's almost like he needed the break from me. Maybe he was feeling suffocated? Who knows. Guess my vacation was perfect timing. I think he missed me around work. He asked me how long I was gone for and said that it felt like a really long time.

    I was friendly and nice, not overly so, but maybe just a tad flirtatious. I was jJust excited to tell him about my trip, and he was excited to hear about it. I avoided any stinging sarcasm. I realized a lot of my past sarcasm was in the presence of other male coworkers and it probably hurt his ego big time.

    Anyhow, we'll see how long this lasts. I don't think he's interested in pursuing anything serious which I'm totally fine with. At least the tension is not there and things seem to be back to normal...for today.

    I'm definitely learning how to better interact with with ENFP's.
    oh sorry, I should have read this before I posted. oops. well, glad things are okay again.

  4. #104
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lasting_Pain View Post
    Hmm, my bad. If it is only a friendship then my advice is not needed. But if you are pursing a relationship with him, then you would not want to receive my advice. You are making a smart choice in putting him in the friends category, even if you aren't aware it is a smart choice.
    lol...if you read the entire thread you will understand some of the dating and communication dilemmas. He's the one who is not interested...anymore at least. He stopped initiating contact.

    I still cant help but to find ENFPs so fascinating and inspiring...sigh...

  5. #105
    Lasting_Pain
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    lol...if you read the entire thread you will understand some of the dating and communication dilemmas. He's the one who is not interested...anymore at least. He stopped initiating contact.

    I still cant help but to find ENFPs so fascinating and inspiring...sigh...
    Actually I did, You just seem quite persistent, to be a person who is trying just be friends with him.

  6. #106
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist
    The only relationship I want to establish now is that of a friendship because I sincerely enjoy his company.
    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    I still cant help but to find ENFPs so fascinating and inspiring...sigh...
    After one indirect (romantic) rejection from an ENFP, I ended up searching for other ENFPs and discovered a few great individuals along the way. They're seriously one of the most interesting people I've ever known. If romance is not an option, then friendships are just as rewarding (IMO).
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  7. #107
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lasting_Pain View Post
    Actually I did, You just seem quite persistent, to be a person who is trying just be friends with him.
    Well because we work together and sit in the same row. I have to see him everyday and be constantly reminded of the rejection. So I'd rather establish a friendship and attempt to erase the awkwardness of it all.

  8. #108
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    So last week went great. All 3 days he was friendly and touchy feely and just his goofy self. VERY flirtatious, I'm sure innocently intended. He actually walked me to my car one day. Even went out to lunch with a group of coworkers in his car, granted he didn't invite me, another coworker did, but still we had a nice time. I've been careful about being sarcastic or saying anything to personally attack him.

    Monday I come in to work...wow, it's like a whole 'nother person! WTH? He didnt say a peep to me the entire day. But in general he was just more serious. He conversed with the other coworkers, but he didnt joke around with them as usual. He didn't turn the silly switch on AT ALL, which he normally would do a few times a day.

    I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt though, because I dont know if something happened during the weekend that's causing him to behave this way. My crazy brain is over-analyzing thinking that he's doing this again to send me a HINT to ensure that I'm not feeling led on after all the flirtation that ensued last week. Is this possible?

    When an ENFP doesnt turn on the silly switch at all for a day when they normally would, what does that usually mean?

    I guess we'll see what he's like tomorrow. Hope it's hot and NOT cold. I'd even accept room temperature...just be consistent!

    I'm hoping that logging my experience with this ENFP is helping someone out there understand them better.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lethe View Post
    Those were once my exact thoughts.

    In conclusion, I found it was best not to take that personally.
    I think this is great advice.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lethe View Post

    My ENFP defines the 'hot and cold' characteristic and the Ne-Fi combo takes him on drastic mood swings. One moment, he's having the best time of his life (to 'mask' his disturbance), the next.... he'll brood about an unfortunate morning incident with a colleague. His emotional world sometimes share a resemblance to a natural disaster. As long as this isn't affecting his judgment, I wouldn't over-analyze it. (I'd even go as far as to say, if he's comfortable sharing these concerns with you, that's a good sign of his trust.)
    It's always nice when someone understands.

    Well said.
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  9. #109
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lethe View Post
    After one indirect (romantic) rejection from an ENFP, I ended up searching for other ENFPs and discovered a few great individuals along the way. They're seriously one of the most interesting people I've ever known. If romance is not an option, then friendships are just as rewarding (IMO).
    This is nice to hear. I'll keep my eye out for them, hopefully that's not too hard. I'm drawn to them like moths to a flame. Just hope I don't get burned!

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    This is nice to hear. I'll keep my eye out for them, hopefully that's not too hard. I'm drawn to them like moths to a flame. Just hope I don't get burned!
    It's more like I end up turning into a kooky fluffball, to my surprise.

    Basically, be prepared to do things you normally wouldn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    It's always nice when someone understands.

    Well said.
    The benefit of having thinking-preference (TJ?) means their emotional Fi intensity bounces right off of me. I'm not as negatively affected by it as other people would be.
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
    SLOAN: rCoa|I|
    Functional Preferences: Ni, Te/Fi, Ti, Se, Fe, Si, Ne


    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

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