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  1. #1
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Default ENFJ self-image as exemplary human being

    well, they are not afraid to show their opinions on this board, I give them that. I appreciate that there are arrogant people outside NTs too, to divert criticism from us ^^
    So, do you ENFJ's feel like being the best a person can be, to the point of being an example for others?

  2. #2
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I suppose this is the "rant on ENFJs" thread...
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #3
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Not necessarily at all. I had self-identified as ENFJ for quite some time, when I was active in some humanitarian projects. I have more understanding and respect for ENFJ than might have been apparent from my opening message.

    I thought that a sligtly provocative opener is quite ok for you, whom I've learned to know (from rl) as assertive and open folks.

  4. #4
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Is there anything you would specifically like to know?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  5. #5
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    Yes, I feel as though I should always try to be the best person I can be. I am an idealist and therefore have a picture of an ideal me always in my head. When I fall short of this ideal (everyday) it brings negative thoughts which get replayed continually. Do I try to be a role model? That is a tricky question but here is the personalized answer not the theory: at work I am a role model, the pacesetter and the motivator. I never try to tell anyone how to live in their personal lives unless they ask, which they often do. I do not consider myself to be judgmental. I have had a pretty rough history of bad decision making in my life and I am no authority.

    Am I arrogant? Yes probably. However unlike NTs such a label causes me internal distress. I find arrogance outside of my ideal. I would strive for humility though I do often fail especially when my plan/agenda works perfectly.

    I am assuming that this is meant to be the equivalent to the current rant threads on NTs?
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

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    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Well, if you feel that you would be a good example to others, what motivates it? Is it motivated by good personal relations you have with people, or some ideas that you hold, or by teaching something valuable/mentoring/etc or just by being a regular person and holding personal integrity?

  7. #7
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    Am I arrogant? Yes probably. However unlike NTs such a label causes me internal distress. I find arrogance outside of my ideal. I would strive for humility though I do often fail especially when my plan/agenda works perfectly.
    Well, I dont judge you for that. I am not a supporter of forced equality or sameness, meaning that we wouldn't be able to think more highly of some better actions or lines of thinking. I think humans are equal in some regard, which I haven't been able to find out. But this is off topic.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post

    I am assuming that this is meant to be the equivalent to the current rant threads on NTs?
    It wasn't ment exactly that way. I just read thru some messages by ENFJ jokingly advocating the idea of this thread. So I thought that I may ask this directly. I consider being able to do "best" choices in some areas and I feel the need to communicate that view to others. I was just following my curiosity in here.

  8. #8
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    I have a good friend who is ENFJ and I've never noticed that about him. Usually he is like me or how Lookin described. I think the EJ types are usually confident (at least to outside appearances) and that can come across as arrogant or self assured to others.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    well, they are not afraid to show their opinions on this board, I give them that. I appreciate that there are arrogant people outside NTs too, to divert criticism from us ^^
    So, do you ENFJ's feel like being the best a person can be, to the point of being an example for others?

    Because of the job I have I'm asked to be a role model (required really) (I'm a teacher)
    Because I'm active in my church I spend the rest of my life trying to be a role model. Do I try to be the best I can be...sure doesn't everyone? And I suppose I especially do because I am after all an Idealist and that includes idealizing myself. Do I put myself out there as an example for others...well i suppose because of the choices I've made in both my career and my personal life yes. But i don't say "Look at me Look at me" outloud. It's just the way I've chosen to live my life if someone uses me as an example that's their choice. I'd just like to be the best me I can be.

    If I have an opinion and I'm not afraid to say it does it make me arrogant? Arrogance can be defined as having excessive pride. In that sense no I don't consider myself arrogant. Do I take pride in myself..well yeah of course I do.
    But like Looking4 said in her response (and when it comes to my friends) I don't tell anyone how to live their lives unless they come do me...and they do..very very often) I know how hard it can be for me so I don't sit and judge them just try to help if they ask. I would not like to be thought of as arrogant because I do try to work on being humble (I suppose if I work on being humble there is that arrogance there huh?)


    sigh...It's hard being perfect
    Last edited by Littlelostnf; 09-28-2007 at 01:47 PM. Reason: needed to clear up confusion :)
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  10. #10
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    Because of the job I have I spend my days trying to be a role model.
    Because I'm active in my church I spend the rest of my life trying to be a role model. Do I try to be the best I can be...sure doesn't everyone?
    No they don't which is a little shocking to me whenever I really have confront it. Some people are very much comfortable not being the best they can be and see no reason to try. These aren't bad or unambitious people, that's just not one of their life goals. It's strange really, when I try to talk about it and I get blank stares.

    I have no problem being a role model, but I don't try to be perfect. I don't think there are enough role models in the world and I prefer to lead by example rather than just telling people what they should and shouldn't do. Hypocrites aren't cool.

    My most inspired moment was when one of my managers at my old job cleaned the nasty shit off the floor because the toilet had overflowed. I was for sure I was going to lose my job because if she'd asked me to clean it up I would've said HELL NO!:steam: But I went in back and there she was with a mop and disinfectant. From that day forward I did just about everything she asked me to do because I knew she wasn't just talking about it, she was being about it. That's what I mean when I said being a role model who actually believes what they preach.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

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