There is an element of truth in the OP within this context but it might not be correct to say that ENFJs think they are the best. I think it might be more that they think everyone else is worse, or unreliable, or simply less productive. The quotations which I hear from my ENFJ on this subject are:
- 'My way is the best way!' - This is said as a joke, but we all know it's intended as the truth!
- 'It's not that you're disorganised, it's just that I am more organised' - There is a modicum of truth here, but it's the implication that everyone else is a huge slacker which is irksome. I'm happy for someone else to plan, but then there is a feeling of exploitation, as if the ENFJ always has to be the planner, which is not true. However, if someone else were to plan, it would not be good enough. An irritating circle if there ever were one!
- 'If I didn't do things, things would never get done' - A blatant over-exaggeration, but seems to augment ENFJ desires to be the action-oriented, "doer". Again, there's no problem with this, other than the implication of others' ineptitude.
The problem with ENFJ idealism only appears when the ENFJ is aggressively pursuing self-improvement to the point of denigrating others. As an INFP, people often let me down (they don't match up to my internal ideal of humanity). However, I get the feeling an ENFJ feels a stronger compulsion to show everyone just how "great" they are/can be if they witness this shortcoming, whereas I don't feel that urge (because I
know how good I am/can be, and I am not obligated to do anything for these ungrateful plebeians!
).
The difficulty is when the ENFJ's behaviour implies their own greatness
when compared to the lacklustre nature of everyone else. If this aspect is curbed, or not present, then ENFJ's can be quite inspiring, since they're usually good at setting goals and eventually achieving them. The problem for ENFJs is that they seem to worry
constantly about everything. Having so much nervous energy, they dispense it through physical action, which seems helpful to them (and can be helpful in reality) but can also make them seem like a "busybody". However, since I understand they are trying to seek perfection (as I am, just in a different way), I recognise this behaviour and try not to feel too bad if they slight me.
Essentially, the arrogance the OP suggested is present in ENFJs seems to me to be a manifestation of their desire to display the perfection they wish to see in the world. However, this perfection seems based on order, planning, and getting all of the details right so as to make this internal vision manifest. If you are seen to be antagonistic to these goals, then perhaps the "ENFJ backlash" is perceived as arrogance.
) planning things. I love just being able to show up!
