strategize is the best advice. bring him into it, his perspectives will be helpful. explain how you feel and what stops you, what gets in your way, what drains you from extraverted situations. he'll see other things, take note of other possibilities, once you see those, it will improve your ability to go with the flow, be open, etc. bc you'll have better landmarks to guide you.
every infj needs some enps in their lives. it helps pry us open. some Te somewhere is really good too (which a healthy enfp will be in touch with). also, enfps are great, but you should also stay open and aware to other intuitives, especially dominant intuitives. i feel good around all intuitives, more open, more myself, but dominant intuitives especially it's like anything is possible. i don't have to hold myself back at all. anything is fair game. so harlem globetrotters. this will help you from putting so much pressure on one specific relationship, and allow both of you more space to breathe, develop, etc. if you are committed to each other and care for each other, it becomes an obvious and factual thing that can not really be ignored, something worthy of trust.
the romantic notion of my little corner of the world and a torrid love affair in a parisian hotel is great, but dominant N types need more information, stimulation, etc to stay active and engaged and always learning. need to meet new people and investigate the new at all times. "have a small plot of new land at all times," etc.