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  1. #21
    (☞゚∀゚)☞ The Decline's Avatar
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    I was just having this conversation with my friend the other day. We posited that the other types shun the crazies or simply don't give them the time of day. Guardians have no time for a crazy who cries out endlessly for help, nor do they respect them. Artisans will simply laugh at them. Rationals understand that there's no reasoning with these people, so they generally avoid them. Who does this leave? The sympathizers. Especially INFP's.

    Quote Originally Posted by that guy posting above me
    But everyone is weirder than SJs.
    No, I tend to think that extreme normality is especially weird.
    "Stop it, you fuck. Give him some butter."
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    = Ne > Ni > Fi > Te > Se > Fe > Si INTP (I/PNT) 5w4

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jewelchild View Post
    I don't know whether it's INFP or INFJ business, but yes Coeur, ever since I was young I've always attracted the "strange" people, whether romantically or otherwise. It used to be a running joke with my friends in high school, except for the times when it got actually scary.

    If you're open and/or kind, especially if you pay people attention when others tend to overlook them, I think they'll naturally be drawn to you. Who doesn't like attention? Also, some people can sense a pushover, which INFP's can tend to be in certain situations.

    I find it sad that sometimes when I make eye contact and smile at people, or focus on what they're saying in a very non flirtatious, general way, they seem to brighten up like it's never happened before. I'm sure it's true of any type, though, that a person who attempts to treat all people decently is bound to attract people who don't otherwise get treated decently.

    And P.S. - I'm sure there are (or will be) stable guys interested in you! Either you haven't met them yet, or they're just not crazy enough to go running up to you and blurting it out. Sane is good... sane is good.
    Most of my INFP friends love it when I hang out with them. I tend to attract crazy people as well for some reason, but once they cross a set line I step up and become assertive and tell them to fuck the fuck off.

    My INFP friend was hanging out with me and sharing his pack of Cigarettes with me [we're on a buddy system, when I don't have any he'll give me some and vice versa]. So this guy comes up and wants to mouch off us, I know that's why he's there from the start but I was going to give him a chance rather than judge without actual evidence.

    After a while he's begging us for all sorts of things and trying to hang out with us and wont leave us the fuck alone. I understand someone in need, I've been there, but he was trying to milk us.

    So my INFP friend was looking a little weirded out and wanted to say no but didn't seem to know how to. So I step in and tell the guy, very nicely, that we're poor too and aren't able to give him all that we have. After I tell him this nicely he doesn't stop and thinks we're pushover's because I was nice.

    He continues to beg so I tell my INFP friend to ignore him and formulate and escape plan that involves me carrying all the stuff this guy wants so he'll follow me [even though I'm really just carrying an empty pack of cigs.] and I'll ditch him then we'll meet up later. Which is exactly what happened. The plan wasn't needed it was just more fun that way.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeur View Post
    By unusual I do not mean the good type of unusual. I mean the old/creepy/stalkerish/disturbed/unstable/mental disorder unusual.

    It seems like no stable guys are interested in me. They barely notice that I exist. The weird ones, however, notice me immedietely and fall head over heels in love with me.

    Any theories as to WHY this happens? I've heard lots of stories from INFPs that go this way, so is this an INFP thing, or just me?
    hahaha I hear messed up creepy stories with INFP girls I know too..hahahha

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I think it's because INFP's are weird. Why wouldn't they attract weird people?

    Same for all NF's. (NFP's?) I used to wonder why I attracted weirdos until I realized I'm weird. Seems sensible.
    LOL hahahahaha

  5. #25
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    ...Almost every person I've ever attracted (almost, mind you) has been quite unstable and low in confidence.

    INFPs do need to work on not being so cling-able. People think they can leech on us and our niceness. I am so bad about that, it's like I'm nice and then I realize I have to be completely aloof to shake the person off. *sigh* Oh, well.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  6. #26
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Yeah, I attract the "bad" weirdos.

    However, attracting "bad" weirdos does not mean I allow them into my life, at least not anymore. I admit I have had moments where I was a bleeding heart, but after experiencing a stalker for several months, I've gotten a lot more callous in rejecting people from the get-go. I don't owe anyone a "chance".

    That doesn't mean I am harshly judgmental, and I think my tendency to forgive social blunders stems from my own awkwardness, but I've learned to go with my gut on what is shy and what is creepy.

    For the record, I do like "good" weirdos, but they are actually more unusual to come by and in higher demand than you might imagine .

    In discussing something similar at INFPgc, there's also the issue of the aloof INFP scaring off "normal" people, and so only the obnoxious and creepy people will ignore our cool demeanor and come bounding over. And when "normal" people do make the effort, the comparative subtlety can go over our heads....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  7. #27
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    In high school, I attracted the bad kind of weirdo. I have always attracted outcasts. For the rejects, they gain power by accepting you, while the popular people gain power by rejecting you. So, generally, if you are not with the "in" crowd, this is how it will work regardless of type.

    I also attract the mentally unstable or mentally handicapped. (Not sure the original tone of this thread, so want to make sure that I am classifying this group as "unusual" but not "bad.") For example, in stores if there any any mentally handicapped people around they will undoubtedly come up to me and start talking to me. (Whereas before I entered the area, they were just minding their own business even with other people around.) And, if there is anyone of the unstable variety, the voices in their head seem to talk louder to them when I get near them vs. when other poeple get near them. Just something I've noticed over the years...
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  8. #28
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    That doesn't mean I am harshly judgmental, and I think my tendency to forgive social blunders stems from my own awkwardness, but I've learned to go with my gut on what is shy and what is creepy.
    I think that this is true. I don't feel like I have the "right" to push anyone away, because I know I've had poor social skills in the past.

    You're right that boundaries need to be set. Usually, I become as close to people as they become to me, and when I decide to pull away it ends badly... [even if we were only "close" for a very brief period of time, like a couple days.]

    I just don't want to be mean. Like I said before, I don't think I'm awesome, or even normal, enough to reject certain types of people. I want to be nice and polite to everyone. Maybe I need to realize that premature bonding causes more pain than initial rejection?

  9. #29
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    ^ In terms of romantic relationships and attraction, yes, it's better to let people know in no uncertain terms that you're not interested. When I was younger, I got myself into a couple of situations where "niceness" was misinterpreted and by the time I clarified and had to outright "reject" people, they were extremely hurt and I felt awful. It's definitely better to be very clear right away if you're not interested. At least if someone will be hurt or disappointed, it's to a lesser degree than it would be if they spent a long period of time thinking they had a chance with you.
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

  10. #30
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    would say that people are strange when you're the stranger in my case. People will tell me things they don't tell other people.

    People will also act out towards me in ways they won't with other people. I am always having to fend off boundary violators and put them into their places.
    I'm like that and I like that. I LIKE it when people are unusual round me... it just seems like people who are unusual in a good way are also unusual in a bad way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jewelchild View Post
    ^ In terms of romantic relationships and attraction, yes, it's better to let people know in no uncertain terms that you're not interested. When I was younger, I got myself into a couple of situations where "niceness" was misinterpreted and by the time I clarified and had to outright "reject" people, they were extremely hurt and I felt awful. It's definitely better to be very clear right away if you're not interested. At least if someone will be hurt or disappointed, it's to a lesser degree than it would be if they spent a long period of time thinking they had a chance with you.
    True. It's just that sometimes I will have a minor crush on someone, but they have a HUGE crush on me. If after one date I decide that I'm not interested, then they'll absolutely shattered and I walk away free... I feel like I need to avoid people who care about me too much, lest I hurt them.

    I just want there to be an in-between. It seems like guys regard me with complete adoration or complete indifference.

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