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Thread: Mourning

  1. #11


    I have noticed when people push themselves to get over the death of a loved one quickly that they almost miss their window imo. I have seen it with some people close to me and a good friend of mine who lost her Mom and tried to move on quickly. She now finds the grief has hit her a year later and everyone else has moved on, it is really hard for her.

    *hugs* to anyone who has gone through something similar.
    Last edited by violaine; 07-23-2009 at 09:29 PM.

  2. #12
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint Kar View Post
    ...Is the way people act after someone's death type related or not?
    As in as much as function focus will determine the style of approach, yes. Individual differences and past experiences will really color one's approach, but if you compared an Se+Fi approach versus Ti+Ne, for example, I'd bet you'd see some general differences. (Best way to isolate function-related characteristics is to examine teenagers who have probably not yet faced death and so haven't acquired knowledge/experience to get past their initial instincts. I think as people get older and experience more and more losses in life, behavior will start to generalize into one of two categories -- "Healthy," accepting death and working through it and "Unhealthy," living in denial and not accepting.)
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  3. #13
    Once Was Array Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    She now finds the grief has hit her a year later and everyone else has moved on, it is really hard for her.

    *hugs* to anyone who has gone through something similar.
    A lot of people just move on quickly, which can be equally hard. As if nothing means anything.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #14


    Yeah, some of the people I've known who have done that seemed almost like they felt they had to. Seemingly to their great regret later. I will say the benefit of processing it full force right at the beginning is that I seem to have more peace now than others who took that journey with me but walked it a little differently.

  5. #15
    Emperor/Dictator Array kyuuei's Avatar
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    I sometimes have this attitude of working through it by ignoring it. During times of mourning, I wear black (a bit traditional and cliche.. but it makes me feel better. Like I'm letting everyone else know.) and although I tend to act real normal around everyone for the most part, I will do some star-gazing and reflecting, maybe cry in the shower (I feel my most private and vulnerable in the shower for some reason, so usually when I cry it's in there.) and settle into rest. I rest a lot more when I'm in mourning, I think that sleep does a lot of healing for me. Work also feels a bit soothing to me, so I'll typically dive into it, feeling that if I cannot be at 100% as a friend and person, I can at least be productive. These things help me cope. Eventually.. things adjust around you, and your normal day becomes slightly different to accomodate that loss, and when that happens I think is when I truly feel like I'm 'over it'.
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