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  1. #41
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    You basically say that you're not gonna put any effort into being friends with this person despite the fact that they're a great pleasure to have around. Sure your friend might attach too much importance to each and all of those events and you attending but the fact is that at some point you have to meet them half-way and not just exist in the bubble that many IXXP's seem to be happy with. I guess what I'm saying is that, from my perspective, I thought everyone else was coming from a very healthy perspective in their relationships with their respective ENFJ's but you may have some personal shit that you have to sort through before you dedicate yourself to a friendship with them.
    Or, you know, he has a flippant sense of humor
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #42
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    For my RL ENFJs:

    Don't take on the guilt of the world. You didn't invite or bring on, in some way, the bad stuff that happens to you. You're still a good person, even when things are tough. You'll get through it--look around and see the friends that are standing beside you, wanting good things for you and willing to do all they can to help you get them.

    Resist the urge to dwell on the dark, sad stuff.

    I don't know if it's an ENFJ thing, but both my close RL friends have this problem, so I'll go ahead and say it. Don't complain about having no money even as you're spending the money you "don't have" on a lot of really unnecessary, "luxury" items. You love them now, but then you're baffled and miserable later when you're biting your nails until the next paycheck. The solution to money problems is never "more money."
    Something Witty

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    The solution to money problems is never "more money."
    Mo money mo problems.

  4. #44
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    For my RL ENFJs:

    Don't take on the guilt of the world. You didn't invite or bring on, in some way, the bad stuff that happens to you. You're still a good person, even when things are tough. You'll get through it--look around and see the friends that are standing beside you, wanting good things for you and willing to do all they can to help you get them.

    Resist the urge to dwell on the dark, sad stuff.

    I don't know if it's an ENFJ thing, but both my close RL friends have this problem, so I'll go ahead and say it. Don't complain about having no money even as you're spending the money you "don't have" on a lot of really unnecessary, "luxury" items. You love them now, but then you're baffled and miserable later when you're biting your nails until the next paycheck. The solution to money problems is never "more money."
    Engaging retail therapy and Nouveau American cuisine is not frivolous spending. It's part of any extrovert's active and happy social life! And yes, more money would be an excellent solution but so would money management.

    Hmmm, all this talk of martyrdom is very interesting. That's not something I'd say I experience.

    I would say to ENFJs:
    • Calm down. Really. There's no need to flip a table. You will not get beautiful chartreuse skin as a result.
    • Illumination will come, usually on the toilet.
    • Refrain from purposefully bowling people over with the strength of your emotions/Might doesn't make right. Funnel that into something that will change the world and not destroy the relationships you care the most about.
    • Don't burn before you mellow/Fire retardation is not a genetic trait (although those who are are a special treasure )
    • Not everyone is a dirty rotten snake--there are islands of integrity floating in the morass
    • Don't "guess you feel" anything.
    • Pick one delusion of grandeur and make it happen
    • Eating alone at a crowded restaurant is not a badge of shame
    • Someone will find your twisted logic endearing and help you straighten it out
    • Who cares if no one thinks Mpungu Pornsac is an excellent nom de guerre! You had to tell them what it means in the first place, those dimwits.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Afkan View Post
    Mo money mo problems.
    Not in my experience.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberrylover View Post
    Not in my experience.
    LOL

  7. #47
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    [*]Eating alone at a crowded restaurant is not a badge of shame

    hehehehe^^ this.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  8. #48
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    • Eating alone at a crowded restaurant is not a badge of shame
    I do this all the time! And prefer it. But I wouldn't mind some of the attention
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  9. #49
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    You basically say that you're not gonna put any effort into being friends with this person despite the fact that they're a great pleasure to have around. Sure your friend might attach too much importance to each and all of those events and you attending but the fact is that at some point you have to meet them half-way and not just exist in the bubble that many IXXP's seem to be happy with. I guess what I'm saying is that, from my perspective, I thought everyone else was coming from a very healthy perspective in their relationships with their respective ENFJ's but you may have some personal shit that you have to sort through before you dedicate yourself to a friendship with them.
    To meet him halfway means spending money and kissing his butt, two things I won't do very much of and still consider the relation a friendship. I'm sorry I didn't tell you happy birthday on the internet, either! Kisses!

    thinking of you

  10. #50
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Default An ENFJ shrugged

    I really found the advice to not take on the guilt of the world insightful or dwell on dark thoughts.

    Any advice on how to not "take on the guilt of the world"? And what did you notice or hear in the ENFJ's to discover this about them. I feel like no one know this about me? Maybe they do...

    Great thread I want to hear more advice. :-)
    Last edited by Neutralpov; 07-22-2009 at 02:33 PM. Reason: na
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
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