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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galusha View Post
    There is also the nagging feeling that this thread will be useless, either because of the "oh they don't really know me" or the "they're just angry at someone else of my type and are taking it out on me" excuse, or, following this note, the "but you're describing an unhealthy ENFJ," which unfortunately, I'm not. But I still think that you guys can get past all of that, if you really want to.
    Actually, I am excited to read the responses in this thread! I am taking the feedback to heart. If I was disputing it in my mind, do you really think I could contain that and have the willpower to not respond to that effect?

  2. #32
    Senior Member Galusha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Afkan View Post
    Actually, I am excited to read the responses in this thread! I am taking the feedback to heart. If I was disputing it in my mind, do you really think I could contain that and have the willpower to not respond to that effect?
    Why not? I do it all the time

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galusha View Post
    Why not? I do it all the time
    LOL. Well not me. I can only contain myself for so long.
    And of course you can. You are the leader of all leaders. I bow down to you.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    "You are awesome. You seem so strong and graceful and poised and its like you always know just what to say and just how to say it. Your totally an inspiration! I don't understand why you tell me that you find that ridiculous. You keep telling me that you have all these doubts and insecurities, but I just can't see their external manifestation. You can be pretty closed about your thoughts and feelings though. Which is fine, I respect your space, but please understand that that can make it hard for me to understand where you are coming from sometimes. Trust yourself more, you awesome person you!"

  5. #35
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    "The assertive EJ coupled with F warmth and N insight into people, plus all the social poise and stuff makes ENFJ women attractive! Not that I necessarily want to sleep with you all, but damn do I want to hang out in bask in the glory of your presence!"

  6. #36
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    My own advice to ENFJs, from my own experiences:

    Get some therapy. Let go of your pride in taking care of others and yourself, and ASK FOR HELP. Don't be a martyr.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    "Its okay to have deep conversations, were not going to think less of you for holding the opinions that you do. Its hard for us to like you when you won't show us the 'real you'.' Your not some freak that the moment you show us the real you that we are all going to go running screaming for the mountains."

  8. #38
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galusha View Post
    Don't try to find so many hidden emotional meanings. It will bother anyone who actually tries to be honest with you, and encourage those who aren't.

    "Favors" are not currency (usually-- hey, so I'm crafty sometimes). If you do something for someone else, do it because you care for him/her, not because it will strengthen your bond or earn reciprocity in the future (though a good friend will oblige, but the point is, don't expect him to).

    Do things without anyone's help every once in a while-- it will make you seem less needy to some of us, yes, but also, when someone relies on his/her personal relationships to get things done, it seems a lot less like real work and more like incompetency or nepotism (the word is seems, so don't get all riled up on me).

    There is also the nagging feeling that this thread will be useless, either because of the "oh they don't really know me" or the "they're just angry at someone else of my type and are taking it out on me" excuse, or, following this note, the "but you're describing an unhealthy ENFJ," which unfortunately, I'm not. But I still think that you guys can get past all of that, if you really want to.
    I only disliked the posts by CandylandJoe and TinyArmy. They just aren't informative and really show a lack of consideration and thought.

    Hell i think that even the most unhealthy ENFJ will eat this thread up like crazy. I've always liked when people, specifically ntps, have shown me that my views are all out of proportion to what actually exists. It's a relief. Feed that Fe, minions! (I'm much better at expressing my opinion in text to "people" aka text boxes)
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    I only disliked the posts by CandylandJoe and TinyArmy. They just aren't informative and really show a lack of consideration and thought.

    Hell i think that even the most unhealthy ENFJ will eat this thread up like crazy. I've always liked when people, specifically ntps, have shown me that my views are all out of proportion to what actually exists. It's a relief. Feed that Fe, minions! (I'm much better at expressing my opinion in text to "people" aka text boxes)
    What wasn't informative about my post?

    thinking of you

  10. #40
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    What wasn't informative about my post?
    You basically say that you're not gonna put any effort into being friends with this person despite the fact that they're a great pleasure to have around. Sure your friend might attach too much importance to each and all of those events and you attending but the fact is that at some point you have to meet them half-way and not just exist in the bubble that many IXXP's seem to be happy with. I guess what I'm saying is that, from my perspective, I thought everyone else was coming from a very healthy perspective in their relationships with their respective ENFJ's but you may have some personal shit that you have to sort through before you dedicate yourself to a friendship with them.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

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