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  1. #21
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    "Leave me alone."
    Anger is also a feeling.

  2. #22
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    Default Thank you

    Thank you all for your replies. Keep it coming, anyone else.

  3. #23
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Don't make promises you can't keep and don't make promises to many people-you are not God and cannot be things to all people and be everywhere at once- you are going to end up breaking promises and falling short- take the things you say seriously and pay attention- pay attention and think about things you say-don't just say things to make people feel good or feel better- because it only ends up hurting worse if you are found to be undependable and inconsistant.
    Take seriously any trust that is put in you. Don't take it for granted. Don't be surpirsed when it is cancelled when you are shown to be inconsistant- warm sweet nothings and words of affirmation can't buy it back for you.

    In the quest for making the world a better place- don't make your home a worse place. Don't be such a friend to the world that you become a stranger and consequently worse then an enemy to your family. In the quest for helping others you tend to leave starving and stranded those in your real care.

    Healthy Boundaries- get some! That is true for all types and all people!
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  4. #24
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberrylover View Post
    "Not everyone has to like you all the time."
    +1

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Before you rush to make a judgment about someone's intentions, think it through. Just do yourself a favor and give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes. Not everyone has an ulterior motive. And the fact that you think everyone does makes me think that you do. And that creeps me out.
    +1

    Great idea for a thread. We should do one for each type.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #25
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Advice to ENFJ:
    Don't contend to just appealing in the masses. Don't try to go for the maximum effect in 5 seconds. Try to actually deliver the amount of "care", "interest" or whatever you're trying to portray. If it requires impression to fewer people, but making them last more, do it. Your relationships will probably be deeper and serve you better.


    ---------------


    To specific ENFJs I know, all male, and most of it applies to all three of them:

    - Your self-effacing humor is charming, your confidence is charming, but please keep it to a healthy medium. Your overly self-critical and arrogant sides are not charming. You just come off as a complainer or lacking humility.

    - Don't always be such a crowd pleaser. Expressing your real opinions & views is a lot more likable.

    - Don't be so hard to please. Lower your expectations just a tad. You'll be disappointed less.

    - Don't whine about not being able to find a girlfriend or "real love", and then be pursuing/flirting with 100 women at once. Don't whine about it, and then have ridiculously high standards that you can't even meet.

    - When with a woman you are romantically interested in, do not comment on how attractive some other woman is. You've just shot yourself in the foot.

    - Don't keep putting off those most important to you while you give attention to others. They may begin to think they aren't so important, and then when you finally get around to them, they may not be there anymore. Meanwhile, those other people may not be there for you.

    - Don't gloss over other people's problems. You don't like it when people do that to you. You're not always cheering someone up when you do that either.

    - Get some ambition. You're smart & capable of a lot, so set some goals and actually do something with your life. Your parent's gauge for success is not the only way, so instead of giving up, make your own way.

    - Learn to apologize when you make a blunder, even if it was not intentional. The excuses are patronizing.

    - Don't take the teasing and banter too far, especially if you can't take it back.

    - If you want someone to open up to you and to trust you, then you will need to do the same with them.

    - Show your deeper Ni side sometimes. The friendly, light-hearted surface gets old after awhile. You're too intelligent, insightful & passionate to restrict yourself to that realm.

    - Your taste is not definitive, and sometimes it's even bad, so don't be so judgmental of those with different tastes.

    - Take better care of yourself physically & emotionally.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #26
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Ah yes, I say about 70% of all of this complaints apply to me. I know most of my flaws but at times I fail to act on them and other times I just need to be reminded of what I need to improve. Here are some of the ones that I need to work on:


    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    "Chill out and don't take it so personally."
    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ123 View Post
    Fight your own battles, this goes for the infj as well, and perhaps the other NFs but I don't know many. When it comes to confrontation or risk of physical fight, I noticed a tendency for you guys to hide behind your friends and almost "expect" someone else or your friends to jump in and save you which is rude considering we didn't have anything to do with it in the first place, fight your own battles. I can think of multiple instances where they feel threatened and come running and hiding behind me basically begging me to fight for them, and even worse if they expect me to do it, when I never agreed to such things.
    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    (thanks )


    You don't need my input on every single decision in your life. I hate going shopping with you because you rely so heavily on what I think, but what I'm really thinking is that you are shallow and insecure. Get your own opinion of yourself and don't worry about what I'm thinking.

    When you are wrong, just admit it and move on. The world will not fall apart. But the constant justifications make me hate you. Just say sorry.


    Fin.
    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post


    ---------------


    To specific ENFJs I know, all male, and most of it applies to all three of them:

    - Your self-effacing humor is charming, your confidence is charming, but please keep it to a healthy medium. Your overly self-critical and arrogant sides are not charming. You just come off as a complainer or lacking humility.

    - Don't be so hard to please. Lower your expectations just a tad. You'll be disappointed less.

    - Don't whine about not being able to find a girlfriend or "real love", and then be pursuing/flirting with 100 women at once. Don't whine about it, and then have ridiculously high standards that you can't even meet.

    - Get some ambition. You're smart & capable of a lot, so set some goals and actually do something with your life. Your parent's gauge for success is not the only way, so instead of giving up, make your own way.


    - Don't take the teasing and banter too far, especially if you can't take it back.

    - Show your deeper Ni side sometimes. The friendly, light-hearted surface gets old after awhile. You're too intelligent, insightful & passionate to restrict yourself to that realm.
    Yep all of those are definitely me right there or at least to some degree.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  7. #27
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    "I wish you wouldn't see every friendship as so give-and-take in the physical sense. It's the best feeling in the world to be around you, but 1) I can't cut your band's recorded music into mp3s or promote your half-assed excuse for a solo music project just to sooth your ego and no, 2) I couldn't bear to attend your graduation breakfast because I'm behind on graduation and would feel like shit if I did, and 3) I won't spend money on a bike just to go on a ride with you.

    THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE, AND YOU KNOW IT, GODDAMNIT! SO START ACTING LIKE IT!

    thinking of you

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    " It's the best feeling in the world to be around you


    but also, seconded on "don't make promises you can't keep"....

    also, "go easy on the white lies sometimes. we know you are trying to make us feel better, but we also need honesty."

  9. #29
    Senior Member Galusha's Avatar
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    Don't try to find so many hidden emotional meanings. It will bother anyone who actually tries to be honest with you, and encourage those who aren't.

    "Favors" are not currency (usually-- hey, so I'm crafty sometimes). If you do something for someone else, do it because you care for him/her, not because it will strengthen your bond or earn reciprocity in the future (though a good friend will oblige, but the point is, don't expect him to).

    Do things without anyone's help every once in a while-- it will make you seem less needy to some of us, yes, but also, when someone relies on his/her personal relationships to get things done, it seems a lot less like real work and more like incompetency or nepotism (the word is seems, so don't get all riled up on me).

    There is also the nagging feeling that this thread will be useless, either because of the "oh they don't really know me" or the "they're just angry at someone else of my type and are taking it out on me" excuse, or, following this note, the "but you're describing an unhealthy ENFJ," which unfortunately, I'm not. But I still think that you guys can get past all of that, if you really want to.

  10. #30
    Glycerine
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    I can relate to most of these criticisms. This is quite insightful and eye-opening.

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