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  1. #1
    Junior Member ldzpplin518's Avatar
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    Default How can I tell if a female INFJ likes me or not?

    She and I (I'm an ISTJ) have been friends for about 9 years. I can't get a good read on her because we've been friends for so long. I'm probably just overanalyzing everything, as I'm wanton to do. Is there anything that I should be on the lookout for though?

    We are training for the Chicago Marathon together, so we hang out all the time.

    DO INFJs react well to bluntness? Should I tell her that I like her or just kiss her (that's really out of my comfort zone as a very shy guy)?

    I'm driving myself up the wall with this one and would greatly appreciate any help.

  2. #2
    Phantonym
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    Hi ldzpplin518! Welcome to the forums! As to your question, you might find this thread helpful. Good luck!

  3. #3
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    If you make a move and she doesn't like you that way, the 9 year friendship may end. Does she get all pissed off and territorial when there are other women around you?

  4. #4
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    It depends on how brave you are...

    I suggest you have a one-on-one talk with her in a quiet location. Tell her there's something you've been meaning to say to her for a while and just slowly explain it from your POV. Watch her reactions carefully while you're doing this. If she makes any avoidance gestures (that means tilting her body away from you despite turning her head to nod in your direction, watch where knees and feet point, or make fidgeting motions (however brief those might be... they should repeat though) then back off. Otherwise just tell her you like her. No kissing until the thought registered.

    I suspect the first reaction an INFJ do if you suddenly kiss her is to push you away and follow perhaps by anger. (Heck we in general don't tolerate hugs too much. That's a good check... how often does she hug you relative to everybody else around?) Not a good way to start a relationship.
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  5. #5
    Junior Member ldzpplin518's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alwar View Post
    If you make a move and she doesn't like you that way, the 9 year friendship may end. Does she get all pissed off and territorial when there are other women around you?
    We usually hang out by ourselves or with our mutual guy friends. She doesn't generally like other girls because one of her ex-boyfriends cheated on her. However, when we do hang out in a group, she and I are usually having our own side conversation.

    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    It depends on how brave you are...

    I suggest you have a one-on-one talk with her in a quiet location. Tell her there's something you've been meaning to say to her for a while and just slowly explain it from your POV. Watch her reactions carefully while you're doing this. If she makes any avoidance gestures (that means tilting her body away from you despite turning her head to nod in your direction, watch where knees and feet point, or make fidgeting motions (however brief those might be... they should repeat though) then back off. Otherwise just tell her you like her. No kissing until the thought registered.

    I suspect the first reaction an INFJ do if you suddenly kiss her is to push you away and follow perhaps by anger. (Heck we in general don't tolerate hugs too much. That's a good check... how often does she hug you relative to everybody else around?) Not a good way to start a relationship.
    Since we usually run together, I'll try to talk to her then, but it'll be difficult, if not impossible, to judge her body language while doing this.

    It's good to know that INFJs don't tolerate hugs too much, because we don't hug too often (but we do hug on occasion). I can't think of seeing her hug others when they are around.

    I'd also like to add that while trying to feel things out, I invited her to my friend's wedding as well as on a weekend getaway with some of my college friends. She is really interested and took the time off work to go to both.

    In any case, I need to just buck up, get over my innate shyness and just tell her how I feel. I'll make sure to post how things go.
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  6. #6
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Default Are you sure...

    ...you know what you think you're doing?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Nillerz's Avatar
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    Their advice all sucks. Phooey to their advice, they're introverts. I'm an ENFP. I'm fucking pro.

    Just fucking grab her shoulders, smooch her right on the lips, look her in the eye, then walk away. Don't look back, just keep on walking.
    Seriously.

    Don't do anything weird with your tongue, just old-school pucker-face style. Use that MMMMMM-WAH sound if you'd like. When you look her in the eye, see if she's blushing or just confused looking. The thing is, you can pass it off as a momentary random kiss just for the hell of it. Do it when she's talking, nagging you, or something like that.

  8. #8
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nillerz View Post
    Their advice all sucks. Phooey to their advice, they're introverts. I'm an ENFP. I'm fucking pro.

    Just fucking grab her shoulders, smooch her right on the lips, look her in the eye, then walk away. Don't look back, just keep on walking.
    Seriously.

    Don't do anything weird with your tongue, just old-school pucker-face style. Use that MMMMMM-WAH sound if you'd like. When you look her in the eye, see if she's blushing or just confused looking. The thing is, you can pass it off as a momentary random kiss just for the hell of it. Do it when she's talking, nagging you, or something like that.
    If it was female trying to seduce male INFJ, I know I'D fall for it... but not Male-for-female INFJ, not usually anyway. I do think that trick only works AFTER she takes you into confidence (As in sees you as a significant other)

    Oh, and that strategy is tough to pull off even IF she would fall for it. You practically have to be an ESTP to pull it off without a hitch
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  9. #9
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Whoo, best of luck then, LedZeppelin sir! I have had this kind of situation with INFJ girls before, too. (Well, not with 9 years behind us.)

    It's not directly related, but here's a thread where I asked the reverse question: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ested-him.html
    Last edited by Cimarron; 07-19-2009 at 08:07 AM. Reason: link
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  10. #10
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    If it was female trying to seduce male INFJ, I know I'D fall for it... but not Male-for-female INFJ, not usually anyway. I do think that trick only works AFTER she takes you into confidence (As in sees you as a significant other)

    Oh, and that strategy is tough to pull off even IF she would fall for it. You practically have to be an ESTP to pull it off without a hitch
    Had an INTJ do that to me once, and even after rejecting him he still kept coming. He also got me in the end
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