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[INFP] What does an unhealthy INFP look like?

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
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This sounds right. I think the unhealthy ones kind of have a blind spot to the bitter vibe they're putting out, and they assume that the world itself is the problem. "I'm a really great guy, but apparently girls don't want a nice guy" kinda thing.

There are some really great INFPs around, of course, but that wasn't the idea of the OP, so I'll just leave it at that.

As soon as I hear that comment from a man, I bail. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It makes the man look like he blames women for all his problems, and is just waiting for me to disappoint him like he expects all of us to do eventually. There is no ownership or responsibility, and that is not attractive to me.
 

CzeCze

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What does an unhealthy INFP look like?

Like one of my exes!

:yim_rolling_on_the_

If only I were kidding :sigh:

The unhealthy INFPs I've known were like petulant, needy, and manipulative children. They were ridiculously hypersensitive. They play games and try to get reactions out of you to prove that you "care". They throw outright tantrums, are reactive, passive aggressive, and erratic to an extreme. Beyond being incredibly selfish and self-absorbed - the very unhealthy INFPs that I've known were like black holes of happiness and lost in their own pain/fears/desires. It's bad mojo! Oh and it's an understatement, unhealthy INFPs are really bad communicators. Or non-communicators. Unhealthy INFPs want you to read their minds and anticipate their next move or else you don't care.

And there is a difference between unhealthy and immature (still growing into all the functions etc.) INFPs. Immature INFPs are on the path to growth, unhealthy ones, not so much.

Unhealthy INFPs act in ways that healthier INFPs abhor. I have seen from personal experience how unhealthy INFPs rub healthy INFPs the wrong way.

The best thing to give a deeply unhealthy INFP is tough love and/or walk away.
 

CzeCze

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So I was walking around our ritzy mall today [cherry creek, I refer to it as "our little slice of LA"], was people watching, and an answer to this thread came to me:

"The only thing that matters is me and my emotions!"

I think that would be a good catchphrase for one type of unhealthy INFP

OMG, that sooooooo hits it on the head!!!

I want to erase my answer now and just quote you...but I won't...because then you can see how unhealthy INFPs can make a mostly (?) stable ENFP bitter...I meaaaaan...nothing.

Also, this quote is accurate about unhealthy INFPs as well:

There is no ownership or responsibility, and that is not attractive to me.
 

Asterion

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Neurotically stuck in the Fi-Si loop. They put up walls between themselves and the outside world. Totally withdrawn, won't make social overtures, distrust people who make social overtures to them, thinking either the other person is just "being nice" or that they have an ulterior motive to control or use the INFP (because in their logic why else would someone want to bother with someone as inferior as they?).

Is there any point in pursuing these kinds of INFPs?
 

Udog

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"The only thing that matters is me and my emotions!"

There is no ownership or responsibility, and that is not attractive to me.

Wow, that pretty much sums it up right there, I think. You can feel unhealthy INFPs squirm and try to wiggle out of any attempt to point out how their actions are directly resulting in their problems and emotions.

the very unhealthy INFPs that I've known were like black holes of happiness and lost in their own pain/fears/desires.

This makes sense. One of our greatest strengths is to be able to face emotions head on, sponge them up, and remain relatively unaffected. With a truly unhappy INFP, the same concept remains, but they soak up your positive energy with their negative energy, yet remain unaffected.

If I were to try and help an unhealthy INFP, I would NOT try to face them head on. I mean, can you out Fi an INFP? Why would you want to try? Instead, you have to alter their mindset so they want to fix it themselves.

Is there any point in pursuing these kinds of INFPs?

Nope, not if you recognize them as such. Things might start off okay as the positive emotion masks the issues, but eventually it will catch up.
 

heart

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Is there any point in pursuing these kinds of INFPs?

It's probably a moot point, they won't let you in. Now mind you, I am talking about the first sort of unhealthy INFP, the one who thinks they are unworthy. They are just so scared, likely won't allow you in or doorslam when things get more serious.

The second kind of unhealthy INFP with corrupt judgement, the ego based one would let you in and then start playing games with you to make you prove yourself.

Then there's a sort of unhealthy INFP that probably will look pretty healthy and happy from the outside, but is emotionally unavailable--- the one who wants fantasy love over the real thing. That one will likely doorslam when things get serious too, but probably will be acting in a more subconscious, unware manner than the first two. This last type would rationalize EVERYTHING to themselves so they can keep up the fanatsy...so when you start wanting to be a real person, they run or push you away.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
Whoa, I have met some REALLY unhealthy INFPs based on what I have read on this thread. YIKES. They are ones that just take the life of you and you kind of sink with them if you aren't careful. They want to take you down to their level, emotionally and become poisonous vacuums of emotions. EDIT: This is just my experience and not a judgment against INFPs, in general. Like I said before, I usually admire INFPs.
 

OrangeAppled

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This sounds right. I think the unhealthy ones kind of have a blind spot to the bitter vibe they're putting out, and they assume that the world itself is the problem. "I'm a really great guy, but apparently girls don't want a nice guy" kinda thing.

I went out with this INFP guy like that once, and yeah, BIG turn-off. He was more immature than unhealthy, and that's something you see the immature and/or unhealthy INFP males whining a lot about at INFPgc. You don't see it as much with the female INFPs.
 

prplchknz

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Whoa, I have met some REALLY unhealthy INFPs based on what I have read on this thread. YIKES. They are ones that just take the life of you and you kind of sink with them if you aren't careful. They want to take you down to their level, emotionally and become poisonous vacuums of emotions.

What? that's not true! I could care less if you came down to my level, why do people say such bullshit things?
 
G

Glycerine

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What? that's not true! I could care less if you came down to my level why do people say such bullshit things?

I was referring to really unhealthy ones. This is the "unhealthy INFP" thread, is it not??? MOST INFPs I know don't act like that. When they are UNHEALTHY, they can act like that. However, it may be just my bias but that is how I have felt around rather unhealthy INFPs. Besides, I was not addressing you, on a personal level. I was more or less referring to the ones I knew...
 

Lurker

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vivianleigh.jpg


Blanche.
 

yojez

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what is the difference between an unhealthy infp and a person who has borderline personality disorder? Also I mean aren't these traits that alot of introverted people have when they are "unhealthy" ? just
 

OrangeAppled

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I was referring to really unhealthy ones. This is the "unhealthy INFP" thread, is it not??? MOST INFPs I know don't act like that. When they are UNHEALTHY, they can act like that. However, it may be just my bias but that is how I have felt around rather unhealthy INFPs. Besides, I was not addressing you, on a personal level. I was more or less referring to the ones I knew...

INFPs who are upset may find happy people around them patronizing, so rather than "bringing you down" to their level, they probably are trying to push you away with negativity just so they can stew alone. Just from my own point of view.



what is the difference between an unhealthy infp and a person who has borderline personality disorder? Also I mean aren't these traits that alot of introverted people have when they are "unhealthy" ? just

Personality disorders are unhealthy minds, so not much difference I suppsose. And yeah, introverts (especially introverted intuitives in this case) who are unhealthy are going to share similar signs. That's why it can be hard to type an unhealthy person. I somewhat resent when people want to automatically label a melancholy, withdrawn person as an INFP..... :steam: :D


We whine. A lot.

Really? I clam up tightly.
 

Udog

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INFPs who are upset may find happy people around them patronizing, so rather than "bringing you down" to their level, they probably are trying to push you away with negativity just so they can stew alone. Just from my own point of view.

I don't think INFPs want you to be at their level, but rather can quickly grow to resent people that are happier than they are. So they either try and push the person away or bring them down a peg, without overtly intending to do either.

Really? I clam up tightly.

Quit yer whining! Gosh! :D
 
G

Glycerine

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INFPs who are upset may find happy people around them patronizing, so rather than "bringing you down" to their level, they probably are trying to push you away with negativity just so they can stew alone. Just from my own point of view.

I don't think INFPs want you to be at their level, but rather can quickly grow to resent people that are happier than they are. So they either try and push the person away or bring them down a peg, without overtly intending to do either.

You guys make great points. When I see someone that is chronically negative, I try to exude positive energy or try to give them encouragement. Ex. I had a rather jaded INFP teacher. I would always flash a smile at him when I entered the classroom and smile at everything he said just to bring a positive energy into the room. However, I felt rather depressed/ uncomfortable whenever I left the class. (All of this coming from an ENFJ pov).

I could see how that could have come off as very patronizing to an INFP... oops. :doh: It might feel like I am not validating how they are really feeling and trying to force them to be happy which leads to resentment? However, the constant negativity feels like the person is trying to pull me into their web of negativity (this is what I meant by "bringing me down to their level, emotionally"). I guess it is the whole "misery loves company" concept.
 

PeaceBaby

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I somewhat resent when people want to automatically label a melancholy, withdrawn person as an INFP..... :steam: :D

You said it sister! :nice:

I had a rather jaded INFP teacher.

My heavens what generalizations I am picking up from you - INFP's can certainly be positive and bubbly, so the whole "misery" Fi thing is just a stereotype IMHO.

Be careful not to generalize to such an extent my young jedi.
 
G

Glycerine

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My heavens what generalizations I am picking up from you - INFP's can certainly be positive and bubbly, so the whole "misery" Fi thing is just a stereotype IMHO.

Be careful not to generalize to such an extent my young jedi.
How I am generalizing INFPs? It was an example. That particular teacher was a really jaded INFP. He used to talk about rejection, love, and death ALL the time. I have seen the Fi misery irl. It's not a pretty thing. However, one of the most healthy people I know is an INFP and I usually love the laidback, positive outlook that many of them seem to possess. To counteract the "jaded INFP teacher", I had another INFP teacher that was quite the opposite. EDIT: This is the "unhealthy INFP" thread not the "normal INFP" or "awesome INFP" thread. Unhealthy is WAY different than average or healthy. This is all based from my own experiences of VERY UNHEALTHY versions of the type. It is not how generally view the type. Sorry, if I have offended anyone. Now I will STFU.
 

BlackCat

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How I am generalizing INFPs? It was an example. That particular teacher was a really jaded INFP. He used to talk about rejection, love, and death ALL the time. One of the most healthy people I know is an INFP!

Your fault! Generalizing when you aren't! :cry: SO patronizing! *storms out of the room*

lol

Yeah the jaded INFPs are something else aren't they? I try to avoid them... they are indeed depressing and just UGH! I'm sure you know what I mean. Wanna see more? infp.globalchatter.com :: Index
 

ajblaise

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They start doing a lot of drugs and all look exactly like this:

00025f.jpg
 
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