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[INFP] What does an unhealthy INFP look like?

runvardh

にゃん
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Jun 23, 2007
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I can kinda relate to the dragon thing...only if you shrink it a tad *is short*, lock it in a mighty safe and then throw it into the ocean. Then pump it with vindictive (Too emotionally switched off to be self aware), dark, indulgent and boundlessly selfish.

Sometimes big things come in small packages. I'm kind of liking only dealing with the desire to watch things burn; relatively easy to control though I do have a few outbursts here and there.

Almost to a t, only emotionally unavailable even to myself when unhealthy.

Do any of you find there are close friends (even best friends) who'll bemusedly tell you they've realised they've never seen you get angry, not once?

Hmmm, a few friends have seen me angry. Apparently they either get scared or they want to help...



thank you for the compliment!

and how wonderfully descriptive you've made your world, even though it sounds sad to me. i had a short time in my life where i viewed the world in such a way, but it's truly not in my deep nature to think of it like that. i feel like you can make your own world and rules for it, and if you wish, never be too deeply distraught again on where it takes you over.

then again, i've been told by some to stop "running away" from my problems. i don't see it as running away as much as it's identifying them, and then going from there on what will make it work/make me feel better.

You deserve it.

I typically have to put effort into muting the effect some things in my environment have on me. Sometimes it requires more energy than an actual outburst. As long as you learn from the problems there's no reall issue in how you're dealing. Just sucks when your emotions get stuck on something before you even get a chance to have a genuine thought about it anywhere from a microsecond to a minute later.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Yeah, but those who bag us seem to think we are great when they need someone to talk to.

Considering all the things people have told me over the years, I'm not convinced the rest of the world is all that healthy.

Yeah, I've had the thought that I'm only "weird" because I am mostly "normal". :tongue:
 

speculative

Feelin' FiNe
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Jul 15, 2008
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Some aspects of an unhealthy INFP:

-loss of sense of self & self-identity
-lack of self-confidence in even small tasks that normally pose no problem
-cut-off from connections and the world
-develops modes of thinking that are not true and may be based on misconceptions or false notions of events from the past
-can become own worst enemy, not giving themselves as much benefit of the doubt as others do
-can latch on to things that are familiar or create a familiar atmosphere
-lacks direction and vision
-indecisive & muddled: convinced one minute and questioning the next
-irritable: usual good nature turns negative
 

scortia

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May 23, 2009
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INFJ
Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFP's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTJ. Example characteristics are:

* being very critical and find fault with almost everything
* doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
* becoming bossy or domineering and ignoring others' feelings
* being pedantic about unimportant details

Haha, I like how this is an unhealthy INFP, and yet, when I was healthiest and happiest in college I pretty much was exactly all these things. I found an ideal, was aghast to discover that people could live any other way, and threw my high expectations at others expecting them to see the world with my new rosey colored glasses and getting mad and disappointed when they didn't.

May have annoyed a lot of people, but I was very happy. :)
 

ComplexMind

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Looking at these posts definitely describes me at my worst. Also, when i'm depressed the whole works can see it in my face even though I try to hide it. Does this happen to other INFPs?
 

Amethyst

¡MI TORTA!
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So, how does one confront an unhealthy INFP?
 

OrangeAppled

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So, how does one confront an unhealthy INFP?

Why do you need to confront them? I've never understood why people always want to confront other people - seems to do more damage than good. Confrontation in itself tends to be hostile and accusatory.

I'd say distance yourself from them if you don't like them.

If you must deal with them, then approach from the perspective of trying to understand them, being concerned, and generally being on their side. That tends to put a person's guard down and makes them more receptive to input.
 

Amethyst

¡MI TORTA!
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Why do you need to confront them? I've never understood why people always want to confront other people - seems to do more damage than good. Confrontation in itself tends to be hostile and accusatory.

I'd say distance yourself from them if you don't like them.

If you must deal with them, then approach from the perspective of trying to understand them, being concerned, and generally being on their side. That tends to put a person's guard down and makes them more receptive to input.

It was just a question.
Thanks for the input.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
If this has already been addressed I apologize, but what causes an INFP to lash out towards others?
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
If this has already been addressed I apologize, but what causes an INFP to lash out towards others?
^ Typically you have to violate a VERY sacred core value. What's considered 'sacred' varies from person to person. Otherwise, we're cool, calm and collected. I can handle a lot (or not, I dunno :cheese:).
 

JediZenMasterFlash

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If this has already been addressed I apologize, but what causes an INFP to lash out towards others?

I'll lash out if I feel suppressed or domineered, or if I'm in an environment that isn't calm and I guess a good word is friendly. I had a stepfather who liked to try and control every aspect of my life and liked to bark out orders and be overly negative ALL OF THE TIME.

He was always in a bad mood, always was standoffish and short with you. The way he would solve problems was by threatening violence. Which he never put his hands on me but my brother got some of it, don't worry, he gave some back lol, we were older teens at this stage, usually the time this sort of thing goes down with fathers and sons in some cases.

Obviously a horrible person for me to be around. I'm older, so I have been out of that house for awhile now, but to this day we don't get along, at all, not even civil.

When I lived there I became very withdrawn, unsociable, bitter, moody, snappy, and I had to have been very hard to live with. It was because of him and his overbearing attitude. I am not by far the only person who doesn't like him, none of my brothers do either, trust me, this guy is a complete (insert derogatory phrase here)

so yeah, theres my answer lol. I need to at least live in a place where I feel welcomed, so conflict and disharmony does it for me, but thats anybody really right?
 

unityemissions

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You guys make great points. When I see someone that is chronically negative, I try to exude positive energy or try to give them encouragement. Ex. I had a rather jaded INFP teacher. I would always flash a smile at him when I entered the classroom and smile at everything he said just to bring a positive energy into the room. However, I felt rather depressed/ uncomfortable whenever I left the class. (All of this coming from an ENFJ pov).

I could see how that could have come off as very patronizing to an INFP... oops. :doh: It might feel like I am not validating how they are really feeling and trying to force them to be happy which leads to resentment? However, the constant negativity feels like the person is trying to pull me into their web of negativity (this is what I meant by "bringing me down to their level, emotionally"). I guess it is the whole "misery loves company" concept.

It feels FAKE!! Very, very FAKE!!

It feels like both, you're not validating our need to experience displeasure, and that you're not being genuine with the intent. I have to be in a very balanced mood to handle strong extraverted feelers. My ability to analyze and see potential situations in which the use of this function would be horrible just pops right out if I'm in a not so balanced mood. It makes me feel very uneasy. I usually just try to leave, ASAP, if I find someone who is putting on a "fake" smile, and seems to be very superficial in their compliments, however true the intention of just making me happy may be. I just won't see it, period.
 

Winds of Thor

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I know of one. Last I saw him he reminded me of the Neanderthal on the GEICO commercials.
 

Ponyboy

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I'm pretty sure they look like someone who would dig up a 2 year old thread and then comment.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
It feels FAKE!! Very, very FAKE!!

It feels like both, you're not validating our need to experience displeasure, and that you're not being genuine with the intent. I have to be in a very balanced mood to handle strong extraverted feelers. My ability to analyze and see potential situations in which the use of this function would be horrible just pops right out if I'm in a not so balanced mood. It makes me feel very uneasy. I usually just try to leave, ASAP, if I find someone who is putting on a "fake" smile, and seems to be very superficial in their compliments, however true the intention of just making me happy may be. I just won't see it, period.
Haha I think that quote was written over 2-3 years ago. Would you be happier to know that I have become more jaded, critical, and usually just pretend I don't notice how others are feeling now unless something's really up? :D I think I was surrounded by a crap ton of INFP negativity by several INFPs plus I had some anxiety back then.

However, I still believe that someone who thrives on negativity is unhealthy.
 

PeaceBaby

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Every time I see this thread title:

What does an unhealthy INFP look like?

I think they look:

Pale
Tired
Run-down
Maybe overweight or underweight

??

:laugh:
 

Mia.

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Jan 4, 2012
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Do any of you find there are close friends (even best friends) who'll bemusedly tell you they've realised they've never seen you get angry, not once?

lol Yep. There have been times I've gotten angry, though, although it takes a heck of a lot, and usually there are few witnesses. :alttongue: The difference is the close/best friends are the ones who get told about the incidents after they've happened.
 
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