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  1. #231
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    Most INFPs are probably unhealthy by other people's standards (especially 4w5s); most people don't relate to that extreme sensitivity and will dismiss it as unhealthiness. It's a great battle for many INFPs to overcome what they've been told about themselves their whole lives: too sensitive, too shy, too spacey, too self-pitying, too strange, too lazy etc etc. I can definitely see why so many INFP guys are annoying to others... it's very difficult to be the antithesis of what a 'real man' is supposed to be in our society + clearly they have some baggage as a result.
    Keirsey and his son did not and do not believe in mental illness, they believe though that dysfunction or dark sides follow a particular pattern by type. For example, how many SPs are called bipolar or antisocial, how many FJ are borderline (afraid to be alone, fluctuations in sense of self, tangible cries for help), how many FP histrionic (overly emotional, impulsive, wants attention in a self centered way but still maintaining an almost painful level of empathy in some cases, not the coldness of an actual narcissist), how many INXX are schizoid or avoidant, etc.

    I don't agree that illness doesn't exist, but I do understand their point of view, that difference in personality is pathological according to the psychiatric community, who appallingly rely on Big Five, a system that seems to revere ENFJ (non limbic ENFJ, but of course) ....
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  2. #232
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    I seem to, without trying, bring out the gremlin out of INFPs. Like my TJ'ness is adding water on that cute little furry teddy bear that turns into a gremlin.


    I didn't understand it, until I read this.



    As I've read through this thread. I've seen some mentioning they go to sleep and hide from the real world. I can see how most go for solitude and would never really lash out. Until I'm sure you've got yourself entangled with a TJ. The INFP in my life, gets so worked up on any discussion that turns into an argument. Literally shivering/trembling voice, jumping up and down, talking over me, talking extremely fast and loud, basically yelling. Fighting till the death blindly, for the supposed "injustice" that happened against the perceived "victims" in the argument.

    The constant care test is there as well. Also somehow, money = care ? In my point of view, business is business.
    I think unhealthy INFP probably constantly see themselves as victims, victims who do not want advice or help, but merely to be pitied, like actually do want pity (diametrically opposing the disgust with being pitied, ever, under any circumstances, that some types like TJ or STP might have)....so they are probably more likely to be dependent, but not necessarily codependency where they need to merge with others, but dependent in the sense of seeing themselves as helpless and righteously demanding everyone else do the same. Either that or they quietly take themselves out, too ashamed or sad to even reach out to anyone before committing suicide or living the life of an increasingly delusional and despondent hermit who loses touch with the physical world, not in the manner of a more healthy INFP who might intentionally turn inward like a monk or wise woman, but like a person who has forgotten their physical body, and doesn't know how to even reach out or change their circumstances anymore.

    That's what I guess, especially since one of the main difference in identifying ISFP from INFP is that the INFP can even in healthy conditions more content to make limited external changes, not acting out Id experiences.

    All Te inferiors lash out in the manner you describe if stressed or out of whack, I don't necessarily consider that an unhealthy trait unless you constantly take things personally and turn into mini Hitler a lot ( I have done this myself in rough patches) but ALL IxFP have stress or bad days, everyone is human. IxFP can become petty, vindictive, vengeful if they are convinced of the evil of another. One of the things I have had to learn is that whatever other people do is usually about THEM not I. But I also think that shit can be taken too far, um yes if you are abusing or gaslighting someone it's really irresponsible and malicious to tell them stop being so sensitive. One of the ways to identify narcissistic people, sociopaths and abusers are people who twist the "take responsibility for your own feelings" (probably the invention of some FJ somewhere) into an excuse to treat others poorly. But yeah immature or unhealthy Te inferiors are at the other extreme, taking everything TOO personally. When I see how dumb it is now, it embarrasses me.
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  3. #233
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Getting angry at all drains me so much I start shaking all over. It takes tremendous energy to extrovert out that much emotion. When I've had to stand up for myself with very aggressive people at work, it make me feel sick afterwards and I found the whole thing distasteful.

    As a teenager I'd have many 2 or 3 times a year of crying and being out of control when alone and these came after physical/verbal abuse.

    This doesn't mean I've ever been unemotional but it mostly occurs internally, my heart is on fire so to speak with strong emotions that are hard to extrovert. It's a lot easier to express emotion in text or writing or if the emotion is positive by touch. But crying, raging, yelling, verbalizing strong emotion takes a LOT out of me.

    Respectfully, I just have a very hard time accepting there are INFP who can consistantly expend a lot of energy on showing outward upset like raging and crying etc. I really suspect these types of being EP who have social anxiety issues and have been mistyped IFP.

    EDIT: I don't think INFP are the only ones who are often mistyped. I begin to think that a lot of the EFJ females that get complained about on these boards are really ETJ...I base this on watching the different types interacting on the forums.

    I have to disagree with your logic on this one. I'll introduce myself, I'm new to this site and am an INFP. I get where you are coming from. And it is possible, although I'm not completely sure, that NFPs who are stronger in the preference to introversion are more reserved and NFPs who are weaker in their introversion are likely to be a bit less reserved compared to other INFPs. I know that sometimes I can go into a rage (but only with my family, people I feel most comfortable with) and it is pretty infrequent but usually it is because I have held in a lot of emotions that I can't easily express due to how reserved I can be. And it does use up a lot of energy, I often feel sick and need to sleep afterwards, I also find that I usually am low on vitamins/minerals during times like those. When I am overemotion, it also occurs mostly internally and if I ever end up in a rage, it is my way of saying "I'm not alright" without actually saying it. Does that make sense? I'm just hitting down thoughts as I go.

  4. #234
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    Most INFPs are probably unhealthy by other people's standards (especially 4w5s); most people don't relate to that extreme sensitivity and will dismiss it as unhealthiness. It's a great battle for many INFPs to overcome what they've been told about themselves their whole lives: too sensitive, too shy, too spacey, too self-pitying, too strange, too lazy etc etc. I can definitely see why so many INFP guys are annoying to others... it's very difficult to be the antithesis of what a 'real man' is supposed to be in our society + clearly they have some baggage as a result.
    I'm an INFP girl and I relate very much with most of that. I'm still told things like that today, in fact. So yeah, INFP guys aren't the only ones...
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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  5. #235
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    i can testify to that as i went through one hell of a time i became,very emotional kind of withdrawn i ne came very extrovert in a negative id often go around asking people for help and speaking to pastors ect?

  6. #236
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    Either they're too silent (passive-aggressive, isolation, etc) or they overdramatically whine and complain. Basically it's "Fi, Fi, Fi, nothing else". Then some unhealthy INFPs would use their weak and shadow functions and shut out all their strong functions.
    I am extremely quiet, an outcast, and conflict-avoidant. But I also have strengths too, that I can forgive you all because you are unique and special. I kill with kindness, hating violence and social conflicts. People always bully me into actually talking, but I can't. Just be your true self and know your strengths and weaknesses. Some weaknesses we cannot change, but work on your strengths, forgive, and accept that.
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  7. #237
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    Quote Originally Posted by INFPtheQuietOne View Post
    Either they're too silent (passive-aggressive, isolation, etc) or they overdramatically whine and complain. Basically it's "Fi, Fi, Fi, nothing else". Then some unhealthy INFPs would use their weak and shadow functions and shut out all their strong functions.
    I think you just need to find your niche in life. This will all seem like a distant memory when you have found a place (figuratively speaking) to call home. If that home ceases to fulfill whatever needs you possess, well then it's time to pack up, reevaluate, and look for another niche. This might become a lifelong process but I am willing to bet you'll be happier than you are sulking and moping about how miserable you are. You may never fulfill all of your dreams, but better to chase them than it is to feel sorry for yourself and lament your sad life. Hey, you might even find new dreams in the process of chasding others.

    I think you should forget everything you've learned about typology because it only seems to be causing you more anguish.

    One of the other members said something along the lines of "stop worrying about what kind of INFP to be and start thinking about what kind of person you want to be" in either this or one of the other threads you started.

    When you have reached a healthy state, you might not care what type you are and all of this worry about how INFPs should or shouldn't be won't matter anymore.

  8. #238
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    Quote Originally Posted by INFPtheQuietOne View Post
    Either they're too silent (passive-aggressive, isolation, etc) or they overdramatically whine and complain. Basically it's "Fi, Fi, Fi, nothing else". Then some unhealthy INFPs would use their weak and shadow functions and shut out all their strong functions.
    No, what you're saying is incorrect. I run a company, and have for the last 12 years, and if I was like what you've typed above, would not be able to. (eta: in fact, it's my third such entrepreneurial venture, now that I think of it that way.) Have I had challenges balancing Fi and Te? You bet. I've had great success and distressing failure too. I'm better for the challenge though, and you will be too. You are not the aggregate of 4 letters. INFP does not spell what you think it spells. Go back to my other post, read it again, read it again and again and again if you have to. You are capable. Take your own advice: " Some weaknesses we cannot change, but work on your strengths, forgive, and accept that. "

    If you're up for mentoring, I'm game, but this self-fulfilling prophecy you insist on proselytizing has got to be the first place you focus your attention.
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  9. #239
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    Yeah, what @PeaceBaby said.

  10. #240
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    @INFPtheQuietOne

    I'm not saying you should deny your feelings, but sometimes you just need to learn to let the most harmful ones just waash away

    You will probably struggle with self-esteem and self-worth issues again in your life, but you have to learn to let those feelings go...they are counterproductive and will eat you from within if you dwell on them for too long.

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