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  1. #181
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    I'm thinking from personal experience unhealthy = depression and depression = loss of control over self, and difficulties arise incl. intense outbursts, scaring people away, generally avoiding people, negative thoughts, loss of self esteem, becoming over critical of self and others and a whole host of problems, when blame is placed on other people, and responsability not taken for your ownself. This apparent moody selfishness comes from perceiving people and situations in an irrational manner and possibly from a lot of stress as well, for example, when I went through this phrase I lost my bestie of 11 yrs, and was being harrassed at school, in particular, felt I had no where to turn too. The irony is that the problems were caused by my own attitude and perceptions.

    On the other hand it's good to experience a little pain anyway, makes you a stronger, more aware person There's no perfect way to be anyways.

    I know I can't fit some people's expectations of me, but I have come to accept myself for me, good traits and bad traits and all.

  2. #182
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittyamazing View Post
    I'm thinking from personal experience unhealthy = depression and depression = loss of control over self, and difficulties arise incl. intense outbursts, scaring people away, generally avoiding people, negative thoughts, loss of self esteem, becoming over critical of self and others and a whole host of problems, when blame is placed on other people, and responsability not taken for your ownself. This apparent moody selfishness comes from perceiving people and situations in an irrational manner and possibly from a lot of stress as well, for example, when I went through this phrase I lost my bestie of 11 yrs, and was being harrassed at school, in particular, felt I had no where to turn too. The irony is that the problems were caused by my own attitude and perceptions.

    On the other hand it's good to experience a little pain anyway, makes you a stronger, more aware person There's no perfect way to be anyways.

    I know I can't fit some people's expectations of me, but I have come to accept myself for me, good traits and bad traits and all.
    I think my INFP boyfriend is fighting depression right now and he has all the symptoms you listed! Do you have any tips in dealing with and overcoming depression? You mentioned how the problems were caused by your attitude and perceptions. Could you please elaborate a little?

    Also, how can other people help when you are depressed? Thanks!
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  3. #183
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post




    LOL.

    I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.

    As stress increases, 'learned behaviour' tends to give way to the natural style, so the INFP will behave more according to type when under greater stress. For example, in a crisis, the INFP might:

    * concentrate only on what the INFP sees as important
    * work alone if possible
    * contribute creative ideas, but overlook current realities
    * fail to consider the cost implications
    * be overly idealistic
    * appear out of touch, perhaps not fully recognising current realities, and disregarding those they find unacceptable
    * be stubborn over issues the group did not anticipate being a problem
    * spend too much time thinking
    * avoid conflict and not giving forthright criticism when it is needed
    * focus so much on interpersonal issues that cost and other impersonal considerations are not adequately discussed


    Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFP's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTJ. Example characteristics are:

    * being very critical and find fault with almost everything
    * doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
    * becoming bossy or domineering and ignoring others' feelings
    * being pedantic about unimportant details

    This is an actual list of traits I've found. Seems fairly accurate.
    That's pretty accurate yeah, with the caveat that the first list isn't necessarily an unhealthy INFP as much as it is the natural aspects of an INFP. It implies that INFPs have learned to get around that, which we have in a way, but we still use a bunch of those in our daily lives, all of them overall and some of them at any given time.

    The second list about our shadow functions is spot on though. That's a dead giveaway we're running on fumes. The only thing is I don't know if this is a list so much of a stressed INFP or an undeveloped, immature INFP. I think I saw a list of those somewhere, but I'm too lazy to find it. Someone Google it lol
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
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  4. #184
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    As posted elsewhere:
    YES!

    and these





    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  5. #185
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Chaplain Tappman in Catch 22. Read it and cringe.

  6. #186
    Senior Member ScottJames's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenParker View Post
    I searched to see if this was already a thread and nothing came up. That's surprising to me. I know so many INFPs and a lot of them have problems so it's difficult to know if I'm typing them right in my head. What are some clues?
    As an ENFP, you can relate to their primary process, Fi. Imagine that gone wild. Unhealthy INFPs will usually be passive aggressive, stubborn, control freaks, unwilling to compromise and/or very self centered.

  7. #187
    yap yap yap xenaprincess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I think my INFP boyfriend is fighting depression right now and he has all the symptoms you listed! Do you have any tips in dealing with and overcoming depression? You mentioned how the problems were caused by your attitude and perceptions. Could you please elaborate a little?

    Also, how can other people help when you are depressed? Thanks!
    Exercise helps tons. It gets us out of our heads and our emotions.

    The first steps to the gym or whatever are so hard, but it gets easier after that. If you're in the northern hemisphere, I recommend some short runs outside for him, while we aren't in winter yet.

    Running outside, in nature, where every day is a different day is truly healing. Even if it's the two of you walking outside briskly, it's good.

    I do not recommend wallowing or surfing on the internet or watching tv, where one can while away time and get nothing done. I think men can bear this a lot more than women? At least in my experience.

    I recommend losing oneself in another being, like spending time with animals. Animals make us focus on the present moment. They are accepting and guileless and calming. If I curl up with my dog for just a moment, I am happy. Plus, when I am forced to care for my dog, I am drawn out of myself. Caring for someone/thing else is a rewarding thing for an INFP.

    In terms of helping as a partner, I wouldn't necessarily handle him with kid gloves. I'd be consistent. Check in with him from time to time. Just a simple 'how are you doing?' is enough.

  8. #188
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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  9. #189
    Junior Member Mr Nobody's Avatar
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    Mostly unhygienic, smelling like shit, both men and women unshaven. expressing unusual body language... wearing their pajamas to their wedding like some 90s suicidal musician who I'm not gonna mention did.
    We have gone sick.

    By following a path of untrammeled rationalism,
    Male dominance,
    Attention to the visible surface of things,
    Practicality,
    Bottom line-ism.
    We have gone very very sick.

    INTJ 4w5 5w4 9w1 Sx/So Neutral Good Johari Nohari

  10. #190
    Senior Member lecky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Neurotically stuck in the Fi-Si loop. They put up walls between themselves and the outside world. Totally withdrawn, won't make social overtures, distrust people who make social overtures to them, thinking either the other person is just "being nice" or that they have an ulterior motive to control or use the INFP (because in their logic why else would someone want to bother with someone as inferior as they?).

    Very self effacing, wanting to fade into the background. Wanting love and connection very badly but not feeling secure enough within themselves and/or having enough faith in themselves to risk normal rejection to attain it. Not wanting to "burden" others with their *miserable* company. A neurotic fear of trespassing on others. Magical beliefs, because without being able to use Ne, imagination to put feelers out into the world, they just feel there is no way to navigate such a scary place and things seem aribitrary and unfair in life. Repetitive negative thoughts. No energy to change their own situations or environment, a passive victim to the waves that others make. Unable to give voice to their own righteous anger or to stand up for themselves.

    Picture CatWoman (Michelle Pfeiffer) in "Batman Returns" before she turned into a cat woman.


    Also this might help to get a proper grasp on it:
    Tertiary Si (INxP):
    OUCH! Been there before, not fun. That was scary to read. :channels Ne:
    Tritype 6-9-4 Sp/Sx

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