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Thread: Tertiary Te

  1. #21
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hommefatal View Post
    You can also be an ENFP and don't use Te at all. I don't think everyone has the exactly the 'proper' function order.
    There you go Amar, he said it before I did.

  2. #22
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Thanks amargith for expanding on the initial issue.

    I agree with AO on the breakdown of functional components at play.

    Fi would have been your inner annoyance at having to do the project you have been procrastinating on. Fe would have been the snap and the outer expression of your inner frustration when nagged by your SO. Te would have been involved when you decided you were going to organize and finally execute the project. But not in the ways you FELT at the time.

    My hubs is an ESTJ (Te to the max!) so I can relate a personal story to this too. We are functional opposites so to speak. And he almost always has something to contribute to "how" I decide to do things and in what order etc. My approach to this has evolved over the years to where I think I have a good strategy to handle my annoyance at continually being "second-guessed." When he starts with the Te, I ask him to expand on how he would do the whole project. He's concise anyway so this part doesn't take long. I then explain my plan to him and once he sees I have a plan to get to the same end result, he can usually step away and let me proceed as I wish. Sometimes I incorporate his ideas and sometimes I do have to say "I'm not you and you're not me and this is the way I think is best to do this." Followed with a hug and I usually end with the disclaimer "If you see me about to blow the house up please do stop me before that happens."

    Te is impersonal at least from the deliverer's POV; it's our reaction to it that starts the Fe a-working. With Fi as a dominant or auxiliary function, we always do know how we feel but it takes some pushing to get that expressed out in the world as annoyance. This is likely why your SO was upset too - you probably do a good job of handling your own negative emotions and don't generally let them spill out on others.

  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I'm afraid of using it. Really am. I..got encouraged to do so last week and was reminded of why it was I only use it when not around people and even then. It makes me feel like an elephant in a china cabinet around people. And the worst part is, that if I completely embrace it, I don't realize I was said elephant untill later on

    Is this just because I have no practice? Do you gain more refined control over it if you just bite the bullet? Or is this because it's a tertiary function and I'll just have to live with it? I absolutely love Te in NTJs, and admire the way they wield it. I must look like such an amateur to them
    I caused a lot of havoc learning about it, and am only just falling in love with it. But I think I like it and want it to become stronger. It's just getting how to be assertive without crossing other values is hard at first. And you tend to be either too harsh, or do nothing at all. The feedback from the other person is an extra factor to deal with too. It is not like we get to make it from a detached perspective, that whole empathy factor is still there. So it needs to be a factor in how we use it. And also learning where it is damaging and not damaging is something we need to do to be comfortable using it confidently.
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  4. #24
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    I caused a lot of havoc learning about it, and am only just falling in love with it. But I think I like it and want it to become stronger. It's just getting how to be assertive without crossing other values is hard at first. And you tend to be either too harsh, or do nothing at all. The feedback from the other person is an extra factor to deal with too. It is not like we get to make it from a detached perspective, that whole empathy factor is still there. So it needs to be a factor in how we use it. And also learning where it is damaging and not damaging is something we need to do to be comfortable using it confidently.
    Yep. It's like a target board, I fire an arrow and hope I land on the centre, which represents healthy assertiveness, but usually miss and end up somewhere in the passive circle, or the aggressive one.

    Even if it's not loaded with what turned out to be an F reaction, It's still like you said, needing to factor in the other persons reaction through that damn empathy.
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  5. #25
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Still, how do you get the best from both worlds, the tolerance of Fi towards others and the efficiency of Te instead of the perfectionism/high standards for harmony of Fi and the disregard for others from Te?
    Literal best of both worlds won't ever happen. Theory says the functions aren't equal in strength and maturity and are not equally consciously accessible. Literally, says theory, one just doesn't control tertiary functions as well as one can control auxiliaries. They require more mental energy to call up, and most importantly the results are suspect if the dominant and auxiliary functions are not properly engaged first.

    I don't know what this means in practice except to think that tertiary functions are like a stamp of approval, an extra layer of complexity that appears in the functioning of the whole person if the person is doing what they should do.

    I figured I'd labour the point because this whole topic--auxiliary and inferior functions--is interesting: how on Earth does one have an *unconscious* function?


    One specific result, or supposed observation, is when tertiary functions are called on, people get cranky much quicker. Being brusque and potentially rude isn't necessarily a feature of Te use in general, just like being cranky and dismissive isn't necessarily a feature of Fi, although it can be if INTJs are called too long to emote, yeah?


    Dunno if any of that's helpful. I'm just riffin'.

  6. #26
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Appreciate the replies, I find it interesting that Fe has a hand in this, from your explanations.

    I was aware of the fact that it wasn't 'naked' Te as AO called it, it's just that it seems to be the trigger to these kind of situations which makes me really uncomfortable. Hence I'm wondering if it is possible to learn somehow how to use this smoothly.

    I have the same at work. Once I get into work, and start finishing everything and making lists etc, it aggrevates me to no end when for instance one of my collegues suddenly steals my computer while I've gone to pick up some documents from the printer, as I cannot proceed without the damned thing. I'm standing there doing nothing while my head goes 'must finish this, this and this, only have this much time left and why in the **** does she not use her own bloody pc for this!'

    I don't vent this as I know that sometimes they need that pc coz they cannot access stuff from theirs or whatever and I understand where they are coming from, but it can really ruin my mood and momentum. I would love to be able to just get rid of that urge, feeling, whatever you wanna call it, while remaining productive.
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  7. #27
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    When I work on something with a deadline and someone gets in my way, I reasonably and politely inform him with a dash of emphasis that I got no time atm but first thing when I am finished will be to come back to him.

    That strikes me as Fe.

    If someone wants me to do something, but doesnt let me work on it on my own, I listen to him and understand what he wants, then I adapt. (And I got a lot of patience)

    Thats a NeTi thing. If the guy is tho persistent on making me to do it his way and really gets annoying, he can do it alone thats like a perfect natural reaction.

    Whats a thing one got to learn in that department is patience. When I was young I often bombarded people with all my tricks on how to solve a problem. That was way too much information for them.

    Nowadays if I see my Dad trieing to get onto an internet site on the Computer, what gives me the creeps, I slowly guide him there. And with every lesson he has, I give him an occasional hint or shortcut and he remembers.

    So patience is one of the great virtues that comes to one life when gettin older and if it doesnt one should develop it.

    I dont know how this is related in any way to the OP . But I think gettin angry or out of line, is neither an indicator for Fe nor Te. An indicator for Te in that matter would be to organize things with that much of time spare that everything can be done. And an indicator for Fe would be, if one doesnt loose his cool no matter how great the pressure put on him is.

    I know this sounds all very assertive and is prolly exactly the thing society expects from oneself to become. But to me its also the most logical and efficient way to deal with things and people in a way that I dont loose my soul or mind to insanity in the end.
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  8. #28
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    But I think gettin angry or out of line, is neither an indicator for Fe nor Te. An indicator for Te in that matter would be to organize things with that much of time spare that everything can be done. And an indicator for Fe would be, if one doesnt loose his cool no matter how great the pressure put on him is.
    Agreed too - the self-control to the outer world sounds like it would be Fe as well.

  9. #29
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Inferior Te is exciting to use. Tertiary Si is kinda boring but very much needed and I'd hate to have it inferior (seeing how ENPs are).
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  10. #30
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    ^ I know. ENFP's can be endlessly frustrating when they don't follow through. Good thing that their Fe can be used to guilt trip them.

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