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  1. #11
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    I rarely feel like that. I don't love people that quickly, so I don't have that much people to give love to. Thank god. If I do love someone it always becomes to much after a while.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by mas View Post
    i'm a supposed ENFP, i'm curious if yall ever feel the same as i do. whenever i'm around people, even people that i've only known for a few minutes, there's always a feeling of love. almost amazement. every time i'm around lots of people there's always a thought in my head like "wow... i love other people in general". i can always find the good in another person. i never show this feeling of love however, i'm always scared. i always think that people never care for me as much as i care for them, so i never want to truly show my appreciation. i'd rather them come to me than me come to them.

    but that's starting to get off-track.
    I don't relate to seeing the good in everyone (after all, I'm an iNFP not an ENFP), but I know what you mean about feeling like you love other people more than they love you. I felt this way much more often when I was younger and more naiive, like around my circle of friends - like, wow, I love these people so much.

    my main point is sometimes i feel like i love others too much. like i care so much about others that i don't stand up for my principals. if someone says something that i disagree with or think is dumb, i don't come out with it, i just agree with them anyway or say "i understand", even though i really don't. if my girlfriend and i ever get into an argument, we always make up even though in my heart i know it's not actually resolved on my side. like "i understand where you're coming from, and i'm sorry", even though i never actually feel sorry for anything. i just want the argument to end.
    Again, I used to do this in my childhood/teen years more. Except for the girlfriend part - in my case it's a boyfriend, and I did that with him many, many times as a grown woman.

    im often scared so badly that other people don't actually like me that i put up a wall of disinterest because i'm so scared of showing how i really feel. it takes a while before i actually show someone how much i care for them.

    do any other ENFPs feel any of this? like they care too much for other people sometimes?
    All of this is sounding so much like younger me, with the exception of the part that I never really applied it to EVERYONE, but to particular groups of people in school, at work, or in an adolecent social circle.

    Maybe it's an NFP thing. I know that for a long time I was too trusting and forgiving to others, and shocked as an adult at just how cruel people are. I have a much more "street wise" protective shell now that I'm older.

  3. #13
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    I came to the NF area looking for more threads on ENFP. Of course this was the only one I found on the first page, haven't searched back more. But, out of curiosity, I would like to get to know one ENFP more, how you think, what makes you tick, so I can gain a better perspective into the personalities.

    About the OP I have that feeling too, but I am way more wary of showing my emotions for others openly, unless if I feel I know you well enough. Although I am not ENFP, it is nice to see that we share common traits.
    Johari / Nohari

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  4. #14
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mas View Post
    i'm a supposed ENFP, i'm curious if yall ever feel the same as i do. whenever i'm around people, even people that i've only known for a few minutes, there's always a feeling of love. almost amazement. every time i'm around lots of people there's always a thought in my head like "wow... i love other people in general". i can always find the good in another person. i never show this feeling of love however, i'm always scared. i always think that people never care for me as much as i care for them, so i never want to truly show my appreciation. i'd rather them come to me than me come to them.

    but that's starting to get off-track.

    my main point is sometimes i feel like i love others too much. like i care so much about others that i don't stand up for my principals. if someone says something that i disagree with or think is dumb, i don't come out with it, i just agree with them anyway or say "i understand", even though i really don't. if my girlfriend and i ever get into an argument, we always make up even though in my heart i know it's not actually resolved on my side. like "i understand where you're coming from, and i'm sorry", even though i never actually feel sorry for anything. i just want the argument to end.

    im often scared so badly that other people don't actually like me that i put up a wall of disinterest because i'm so scared of showing how i really feel. it takes a while before i actually show someone how much i care for them.

    do any other ENFPs feel any of this? like they care too much for other people sometimes?

    I think feeling love for everyone and not wanting to disagree/show dissent/have people not like you or return the same feelings is different.

    Do you feel very sensitive - like you can sense the hurt and disappointment in others? Feeling overly empathetic or identifying or attributing too much feeling to someone else's responses can be socially crippling.

    I'm trying to relate and I think you may be in a stage where your Fi or rather - how you control and express your Fi is - is being shaped.

    Critical stage!

    All I have to say is that loving everyone and feeling love and joy and not being ashamed or scared to say and show it is an AMAZING gift. Many people aspire to that. It also takes A LOT of strength and grounding and principles though to continue to live like that in an effective way.

    It just struck me Tiny Army's response and I think a few other ENFPs - being so sensitive and feeling such good feelings for people, an ENFP/Fi trait is also that you have to feel SAFE doing so. I am a little battle tested and world weary in that I have learned to be really PRACTICAL.

    I think I'm pretty neat, and this is not me being totally arrogant - NFs and in this particular case ENFPs - we have things that most people sometimes need and some people really crave - that is affection and attention. And we also have a large propensity for having fun and enjoying life. We genuinely care about people and we show it against the better judgement of friends, family, and even ourselves - this is why we can be taken advantage of and burned. Our kindness is mistaken for naivete or weakness. And we are naive in some ways and it can really sting when people seem to throw barbs at us.

    I decided that I'm not gonna just dole out parts of myself to anyone just like that. And once I felt more in control and confident in myself and that I could survive and even excel emotionally and otherwise - I became much more able to be openly affectionate and caring, etc. Otherwise Fi can seem like an icebox to outsiders! Har har har.

    You know what annoyed me later though? Is when people you protect yourself from go on and on about how much they like or love someone because they are so warm and openly affectionate. I'm like really?? Well, damn, I might be like that around you if you (okay really me) weren't so awkward about it or basically if I felt safe around you which means - if you proved yourself safe to me. LOL.

    Once you gain that inner confidence and security you can really let yourself go and let that Fi and whatever else it is that you want shine. You don't have to worry about getting hurt or whether or not people will like you - or that you will hurt other people. People are tough. You're tough. And you can be tough and still loving and vulnerable.

    It's very true - having suffered from anxiety, once you stop caring what people think it is SO much easier meeting and interacting with people. And TONS more enjoyable.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #15
    Senior Member Nillerz's Avatar
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    Actually I find quite the opposite. People around me are lovely, and I love them but I don't actually *love* a single person, ever. Even when I'm involved in a elationship I don't actually love them. I don't even know what love feels like. I just am good at making people happy I guess..

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