[MBTI General] INFJ Compatibility - Why the INFJ/ENTP dynamic is hands down the best.

[Domino]

How is it that an ENTP/ENFJ pairing could be great for each other? Not saying they can't be but I have a tough time with dominant feelers and an ENFJ would not only dry me insane by not giving me enough space and being too needy but they have no sense of self. I doubt one will even respond to that because ENFJs don't post in the forums due to always being out doing something for somebody other than themselves.

I'm responding. And you won't like what I'm thinking. AT ALL.

Furthermore, I've dated many ENTPs and we've got on like a house on fire, so don't knock what you don't know.

 

[cafe]

I like my INTP. He's quiet and stuff.

 

[entropie]

+ I dont think a woman, may it be enfj, infj or the holy ghost, can ever give an entp what a giant killer roboter with mobile flamethrowers and dual 250mm compressed coil guns can give him

 

[Winds of Thor]

+ I dont think a woman, may it be enfj, infj or the holy ghost, can ever give an entp what a giant killer roboter with mobile flamethrowers and dual 250mm compressed coil guns can give him

Agreed. No Doubt. Well, except for the Holy Ghost. He no doubt, can.

 

[Winds of Thor]

I complain because most of what I have to say about ENTPs is somewhat negetive, from experience, and a part of me thinks some part of the post might contribute to the thread.

That's because some INFJs are insanely picky..so much I've seen the INFJ pot calling the kettle black.

Hypocrisy is so annoying.

It must be self-defeating being a hypocritical INFJ. And once seeing one's hypocrisy and looking back at how critical one was to others who are allowed to make mistakes.

BS.

 

[Lauren]

That's so cool. Such a wonderful thing to have in a relationship - and very hard to find.



I think that's very wise of you.
My ISTP husband sometimes wants to "fix" things and tell me what I need to do - when I really just need to vent, and after I vent I know what I should do.

My ISTP soon-to-be ex-husband did exactly the same thing to me. I know that some men like to "fix" things but it's the 'tell me what to do' that I had the most difficulty with. I just wanted to vent, as you do--I always knew what I wanted to do as well.

 

[Domino]

I like my INTP. He's quiet and stuff.

 

[chris1207]

I want to find an INTP woman so I can make a sex tape to prove that my combo is way better than Samvega's ENTP/INFJ combo...

 

[Samvega]

I'm responding. And you won't like what I'm thinking. AT ALL.

Furthermore, I've dated many ENTPs and we've got on like a house on fire, so don't knock what you don't know.

Hmmm, your pathetically high post count makes sense to me. I can't read your mind so I have no clue if I would like what you're thinking, I can tell you that I don't care much about it. Say it or don't, don't tell me you're thinking it and say nothing.

 

[Samvega]

I have two entp friends that are completely happy with their enfj's. The enfj takes care of the entp on different levels(Fe) while knowing when to call them on their bullshit.

My sister is INFJ and she says that she could never ever date an entp. She says she can handle them as friends, but she feels like she could never be herself around someone so critical, flighty, and easily bored. She feels like she's constantly being poked and prodded.

She's introverted but most think she is extroverted. She has dated a lot of different guys, but has dumped every single one for one reason or another(she has never been dumped). I will say that they were all weaker, but I doubt she will ever find a mate that is as or more strong than her. She takes care of people and easily, if a little reluctantly, falls into positions of leadership.

I think you are right about finding an entp that is older, because I think she finds the young one's too unstable or unreliable. She has a tough shell around her and even her closest friends of 4 years don't know her that well.

How do entp's react when people show a vulnerable side?(I mean in the sense that the person reveals a problem or issue that might for a moment make them appear vulnerable.) I think INFJ's have a thing about not wanting to appear vulnerable, so they hold everything inside, trying to bear the weight of their problems on their own.

I think this is where her problem with entp's stems. She doesn't want to appear vulnerable in front of a person so critical. She thinks an entp wouldn't be able to understand her. Is this true? I don't think so, but it differs with the person. Is the entp more likely to understand and appreciate the INFJ if they are older?

I don't know what to say, I don't know your sister, the people she has dated or the ENTPs you're talking about. I'm normally at my best when others are at their worst, the person you see normally and the person you get in an intimate relationship aren't the same two people. At face value I would say and INFJ would be a really poor match for the ENTP but I know the workings of both and the dynamic when both parties are willing to put their guard down long enough to let the other see what's really going on.

The other issue is I know A LOT of people that think they're INFJ, I know very few that really are. There are some classic examples of an INFJ and the different outlooks they can have, Sanveane, Cascadeco, Lexicon to name a few though for each of them there are 5 people saying they're INFJ who aren't in fact Ni/Fe dominant. See what I'm getting at?

I'm not overly critical, I'm good with people when they're at their worst and unlike most other types I would never exploit the things about an INFJ that not only make them so amazing but also make them so easy to exploit.

So I don't know about other ENTPs, I know I have done a lot of growing, I'm very self aware and the sharp edges of mine that were once damaging to others have been worn smooth with age.

 

[the state i am in]

Hmmm, your pathetically high post count makes sense to me. I can't read your mind so I have no clue if I would like what you're thinking, I can tell you that I don't care much about it. Say it or don't, don't tell me you're thinking it and say nothing.

my yang is bigger than your yang!

 

[ajblaise]

Hmmm, your pathetically high post count makes sense to me. I can't read your mind so I have no clue if I would like what you're thinking, I can tell you that I don't care much about it. Say it or don't, don't tell me you're thinking it and say nothing.

Lame.

 

[Venom]

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why is it that ENTP is always pegged as the compensatory narcissist? Why is it always about how great they are and how dumb everyone else is?
.
.
.
.
.
.

I don't know what to say, I don't know your sister, the people she has dated or the ENTPs you're talking about. I'm normally at my best when others are at their worst, the person you see normally and the person you get in an intimate relationship aren't the same two people. At face value I would say and INFJ would be a really poor match for the ENTP but I know the workings of both and the dynamic when both parties are willing to put their guard down long enough to let the other see what's really going on.

The other issue is I know A LOT of people that think they're INFJ, I know very few that really are. There are some classic examples of an INFJ and the different outlooks they can have, Sanveane, Cascadeco, Lexicon to name a few though for each of them there are 5 people saying they're INFJ who aren't in fact Ni/Fe dominant. See what I'm getting at?

I'm not overly critical, I'm good with people when they're at their worst and unlike most other types I would never exploit the things about an INFJ that not only make them so amazing but also make them so easy to exploit.

So I don't know about other ENTPs, I know I have done a lot of growing, I'm very self aware and the sharp edges of mine that were once damaging to others have been worn smooth with age.

Hmmm, your pathetically high post count makes sense to me. I can't read your mind so I have no clue if I would like what you're thinking, I can tell you that I don't care much about it. Say it or don't, don't tell me you're thinking it and say nothing.

How is it that an ENTP/ENFJ pairing could be great for each other? Not saying they can't be but I have a tough time with dominant feelers and an ENFJ would not only dry me insane by not giving me enough space and being too needy but they have no sense of self. I doubt one will even respond to that because ENFJs don't post in the forums due to always being out doing something for somebody other than themselves.

There are many reasons I question the INFJ/ENTP pairing as it's hard to find an INFJ that's all there and not lost in taking care of somebody else but some of the most amazing people I know are INFJs though I think they fair pretty poorly if raised by the wrong people causing nature versus nature to play a fairly large roll in what they're like as adults.

You're a male? I doubt you're going to find an ENTP at a bar and if you try you may end up going home with an ESTP by mistake, if you thought the ENFs didn't go well!

The ENTP is like 10% ESTP and 90% INTP, not mixed or blended in any way shape or form. So if you see us out I highly doubt you'll be able to pick an ENTP out of the crowd. I think that's what makes us hard to meet, it would have to be random, there is no pattern you could use to meet me. I'm a recluse and love my alone time but you would never know that if you saw me out, you would think I was an over the top ball of energy.

You have clearly been on typec enough to know a thing or two so I'm not going to go into the fundamentals I'm just going to assume you know. I will only say that I know more than one INFJ/INTJ couple, fairly common when you factor in them being two of the three least common types. By contrast I don't know a single Ne/Ne couple and it would honestly disturb me, other Ne doms feel like family to me.

I've heard a lot of INFJs say "gross", "that's nasty" or "that's like incest" when talking about Ni/Ni pairings. To partly use something Synarch once said I/I couples have WAY TOO much self and E/E couples don't have enough.

I think you should get two magnets to illustrate this example, try putting the two -/- together and see how that works, now give the +/+ a try and you'll understand why you see two Is together but never two Es, because with the Es it's very clear there's an issue where as with the two Is they feel safe in a lazy sort of way. Now try the -/+ and you will better understand something that was very clear to Jung.

As for the introverting/extroverting where it relates to a Ne dom. People WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS! The four most introverted of all the MBTI types are:

ENTP
INFP
INTJ
INTP

Notice, you as an INFJ with a secondary Fe function don't make that list. Most introverted would be a Ti/Ne (that's makes perfect sense followed by a Ni/Te, Fi/Ne and coming in as the most introverted of all the extroverts...Ne/Ti.

I'm saying this because I keep hearing the same thing over and over again about ENTPs and it makes me question if the people saying it actually know one or if they just met one that was extroverting.

Picture the ENTP like the turbo charged introvert, it's there when we need it but sometimes you seriously need to talk me into using it.

Hell, Sunday I went out with my INFJ friend at a club and he was hanging in there, I had to walk out just to get away from people cause I couldn't deal with them anymore.

oh now I remember

 

[Domino]

I love the smell of frantic "my way or the highway" verbose propaganda in the morning. You ruffle their feathers and the talons come out.

The real world doesn't exist. Ne has decreed it. Nothing else works except ENTP/INFJ. Please be sure to explain that to all the INFJs I know who have happily found love with ISTPs, ENFPs, INFPs, ISFPs, ESTPs, etc because they're truly mistaken little sheep and should be gently guided back onto the straight and narrow-minded. INFJs are strong-willed and can think for themselves. Happiness can come in any form for them. Stop trying to ram it down their throats.

Only one form of happiness is surely a monochrome world. Good luck with that.

As to my post count -- I've been mortally ill for some time, and have not been strong enough to go out much. That's why I'm pathetic.

 

[Amargith]

Hmmm, your pathetically high post count makes sense to me. I can't read your mind so I have no clue if I would like what you're thinking, I can tell you that I don't care much about it. Say it or don't, don't tell me you're thinking it and say nothing.

Dude, below the belt, and reeking of self-righteousness. I admire your passion and the fact that you obviously feel strongly about this, but curb the lashing out to those that happen to disagree, will ya, especially if you pretty much asked for that reaction with your original post.

Dom, how is it you like these guys, seriously?

 

[cascadeco]

The real world doesn't exist. Ne has decreed it. Nothing else works except ENTP/INFJ. Please be sure to explain that to all the INFJs I know who have happily found love with ISTPs, ENFPs, INFPs, ISFPs, ESTPs, etc because they're truly mistaken little sheep and should be gently guided back onto the straight and narrow-minded. INFJs are strong-willed and can think for themselves. Happiness can come in any form for them. Stop trying to ram it down their throats.

Only one form of happiness is surely a monochrome world. Good luck with that.

Oh, totally, although I didn't interpret the OP quite in that way. Ultimately it always boils down to the individual (although I think there are general things/needs that remain consistent for INFJ's, in terms of their overall happiness and fulfillment in a relationship); I have INFJ friends who have preferences for types who are quite different from who I have preferences for. I think there are a lot of sound reasons for why ENTP/INFJ is good, but there are sound reasons for other partnerships as well.

As to my post count -- I've been mortally ill for some time, and have not been strong enough to go out much. That's why I'm pathetic.

You do bring so much wonderful-ness to the boards, and you're most definitely not pathetic (but that shouldn't really need to be clarified ). My favorite Ni-partner-in-crime!!

 

[onemoretime]

I love the smell of frantic "my way or the highway" verbose propaganda in the morning. You ruffle their feathers and the talons come out.

The real world doesn't exist. Ne has decreed it. Nothing else works except ENTP/INFJ. Please be sure to explain that to all the INFJs I know who have happily found love with ISTPs, ENFPs, INFPs, ISFPs, ESTPs, etc because they're truly mistaken little sheep and should be gently guided back onto the straight and narrow-minded. INFJs are strong-willed and can think for themselves. Happiness can come in any form for them. Stop trying to ram it down their throats.

Only one form of happiness is surely a monochrome world. Good luck with that.

Have you ever bothered asking yourself why this situation evokes such a strong reaction?

 

[Domino]

Dom, how is it you like these guys, seriously?

The ones I know IRL don't do this, so *shrug*. Maybe I should have my head examined (to check up on the clouds of dustbunnies there in the attic). If he were already idyllically paired, I doubt we'd be seeing such flames and vitriol. Frustration drives a thwarted man/male-type thing to many conflagrations. Perhaps this is the case. Perhaps not. It's pure speculation on the 'netz.

A one-lane highway is a lonely road, madam. A lonely road.

 

[Domino]

Have you ever bothered asking yourself why this situation evokes such a strong reaction?

Oh yes. It's not a deep well. It's an obvious thing. I find that the aggressive "this is the only way" attitude of many, shall me say, sects, on the board to overbearing and a pointless waste of energy. It makes me tired all over seeing yet another "you can't marry/date X type because it's wrong/chemically impossible/forbidden by God and Allah thus say I" thread.

On this board, INFJs are treated like the Holy Grail, like angels who radiate constant good will and sunshine, who cough up solid gold hairballs. I love INFJs dearly (very nearly being one myself) and enjoy their company immensely as I feel very mano-y-mano and jacked in when I'm around them. I've made INFJ friends here and IRL and I love them to pieces.

But I also know their dark sides (again, I don't have to look further than myself) having been raised by one and knowing many over the years, and because I can see them for what they truly are - beauty spots/warts and all - I feel I know them and can appreciate them fully. When I start seeing a lopsided glorification of anything, I feel the need to correct it (ex. the S-hate barrage), especially a driven and apparently (to my eye) ridiculous white-washing of something that can stand on it's own merits and needs no inflation like a parade balloon. Gilding the lily, as they say. (Who's they? It's a secret!)

That's my reaction, and I thank you for asking.

 

[onemoretime]

Oh yes. It's not a deep well. It's an obvious thing. I find that the aggressive "this is the only way" attitude of many, shall me say, sects, on the board to overbearing and a pointless waste of energy. It makes me tired all over seeing yet another "you can't marry/date X type because it's wrong/chemically impossible/forbidden by God and Allah thus say I" thread.

Is it so obvious, then? Are we not living in a world where half of all marriages fail?

On this board, INFJs are treated like the Holy Grail, like angels who radiate constant good will and sunshine, who cough up solid gold hairballs. I love INFJs dearly (very nearly being one myself) and enjoy their company immensely as I feel very mano-y-mano and jacked in when I'm around them. I've made INFJ friends here and IRL and I love them to pieces.

Why do you think people (particular NT males) value INFJs so much?

But I also know their dark sides (again, I don't have to look further than myself) having been raised by one and knowing many over the years, and because I can see them for what they truly are - beauty spots/warts and all - I feel I know them and can appreciate them fully. When I start seeing a lopsided glorification of anything, I feel the need to correct it (ex. the S-hate barrage), especially a driven and apparently (to my eye) ridiculous white-washing of something that can stand on it's own merits and needs no inflation like a parade balloon. Gilding the lily, as they say. (Who's they? It's a secret!)

Meh, it's the internet. Everyone here's a persona, anyway, as you correctly mentioned. You've got a mix of teenagers talking to twenty-somethings talking to people with families. The trick is to figure out what's being said to make someone feel better, what's an expression of immaturity and inexperience, and what is a question based on the very foundations of human society.

Is there something that INFJs do that is rare in other potential dating partners? If so, why do you think others value it so highly?

That's my reaction, and I thank you for asking.

Shore 'nuff