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  1. #51
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post

    The issue with the difficulty in starting an ENTP/INFJ relationship isn't limited to one thing. First off, neither is used to being understood so there's this never ending clarification and "know what I'm saying", "if that makes sense" issue. Both are in dismay somebody else understands with such ease. However because we take different paths to the same place we'll ask things like "why'd you do that" just to understand, when explained the other person totally gets it but because we're so used to the same thing happening with a different outcome it preys on our frustration or issues of never feeling understood. Secondly the INFJ is hard to get out of their shell and the ENTP is quick to run back to theirs. The INFJ has this feeling initially that they'll never get the space they want because they see the ENTP extroverting and the ENTP swears you're not interested. The INFJ will have this constant push/pull I want it no I don't issue and have to fight to get the flood gate open. The ENTP will have this run while you still can issue and have a tough time keeping the flood gate from shutting. Both speak truly and honestly but have a tendency to try reading between the lines with the other when there's nothing there to be read. We apply our own motivations to the other persons actions which is never correct (different path to the same place) and this all takes some excellent and very open communication. These issues don't last long however so at least that's a plus. We're both a type that never really lets people in and we're both amazing at reading people so we're faced with an issue of holy shit this is going to hurt if it doesn't work so both need to want love more than the fear of having it. We're both so whole alone but together there's an overlapping of abilities that gives the other a peephole (I read that four times and kept thinking there was a missing p) into a whole different world. I can tell you right off the bat, if I (as an ENTP) had internal issues I was hiding I wouldn't even consider pursuing an INFJ until I had my head on right because I know it would be picked up on instantly.
    Interesting reading an ENTP perspective on this. I've been friends with an ENTP for...9 years?...although while I was still in Minnesota he moved to a different state so for 5 of those yrs we weren't really in touch. Anyway, now I live where he lives, so we've started hanging out a little bit.

    At least back in Minnesota, a long while ago, I always sensed there was this odd dynamic where neither of us quite knew what to do with the other, maybe a 'waiting game' on both of our parts. At one point I became interested in dating him, but as those things go I then met someone else. And he never initiated anything with me, so I assumed that he wasn't interested (perhaps rightly so? I tend to think extroverts especially will just ask someone out if they're interested).

    Blah, this isn't going anywhere! haha.

    To the OP/title of the thread -- while I think many types can work out just fine together, I will admit that for myself I'm coming to realize how 'necessary' an Ne complement might be for me. NiTi just bogs me down in an internal world, where I come to see so many possibilities that I become immobile and sort of Defeatist. Ne provides a necessary 'awakening', and refreshing viewpoint (Ne seems more optimistic by nature), brainstorming options, more concretely externalizing things. Definitely pulls me out of myself, and provides a perspective that gives me more clarity - and hope.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #52
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Interesting reading an ENTP perspective on this. I've been friends with an ENTP for...9 years?...although while I was still in Minnesota he moved to a different state so for 5 of those yrs we weren't really in touch. Anyway, now I live where he lives, so we've started hanging out a little bit.

    At least back in Minnesota, a long while ago, I always sensed there was this odd dynamic where neither of us quite knew what to do with the other, maybe a 'waiting game' on both of our parts. At one point I became interested in dating him, but as those things go I then met someone else. And he never initiated anything with me, so I assumed that he wasn't interested (perhaps rightly so? I tend to think extroverts especially will just ask someone out if they're interested).
    Hate to let you down, but it could also have been him waiting for you to give him some sort of sign that he could go ahead and pull the trigger.

  3. #53
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    it's obviously a good pairing. it probably makes even more sense with male entp and female infj, but it could work for either pretty well. i think female infp works pretty well for entp male too, one of my best friends is an entp and he is a long-term relationship with an infp. she keeps him in check, great integrity, warmth, etc. great person, both of them are.

    i think more important is just dominant intuitive fits together with other dominant intuitive types. there are many methods of partnership in the world, some romantic and some not. i find entp to be my most natural creative partnership, so ideas focused, so in love with possibilities and exploration. so metaphoric and inventive and conceptual. it works really well. i will always seek out entps in this regard. at home it feels a bit different. i'm rather introverted, or, perhaps more aptly, i prefer my introverted time to extraversion quite often. i am much much much more one-on-one. i am in a serious relationship with an intj and it works great. we are both geeky dominant intuitive introverts. we do geeky things, play chess, play tennis, read books, watch arty movies, cook, spend quality time together. her Te is probably more of what i need in that aspect of my life. our understanding is so transparent, so deeply entrenched, we care about/show consideration for each other very very easily. i think she is better at bringing out the best in me and compensating for my weaknesses. our domestic life is great, she is very supportive, i start to lose the feeling of wanting something new (more more more!) and realize i couldn't be happier. we both enrich each other in an intensely complimentary way. the differences are perfect.

    i can see why entp and enfp would work too, the more and more i meet and get to know people of these types. all dominant intuitives communicate the fuck out of their ideas with each other. but i also see why this works for me and the huge unfolding map of possibilities open in our situation as we currently have constructed it. it's an inspiring feeling. time to do, to develop, build, etc. and while my home life feels good, there is always a need for other people to become part of your life in other social/discursive spheres. the enps are tops in that list, helping join forces to get something done in a way that we both find mutually rewarding. my intj is more introverted than me, which i think makes it easier gender-wise. we have a really nice balance with i/e and my occasional gushy fness.

    tho, as i always say, i have a big soft spot for inps too. they keep my integrity in check, while providing really artistic, aesthetically rich pools of experience and knowledge. and they make great and inspiring friends, companions, art-mates, etc. but communication is not as easy as with other dominant intuitives, like playing volleyball with 24 volleyballs flying back and forth over the net at the same time and in different directions.

  4. #54
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Hate to let you down, but it could also have been him waiting for you to give him some sort of sign that he could go ahead and pull the trigger.
    Yep, quite possible.

    I may see about exploring that in the near future...
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  5. #55
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    at home it feels a bit different. i'm rather introverted, or, perhaps more aptly, i prefer my introverted time to extraversion quite often. i am much much much more one-on-one. i am in a serious relationship with an intj and it works great. we are both geeky dominant intuitive introverts. we do geeky things, play chess, play tennis, read books, watch arty movies, cook, spend quality time together. her Te is probably more of what i need in that aspect of my life. our understanding is so transparent, so deeply entrenched, we care about/show consideration for each other very very easily. i think she is better at bringing out the best in me and compensating for my weaknesses. our domestic life is great, she is very supportive, i start to lose the feeling of wanting something new (more more more!) and realize i couldn't be happier. we both enrich each other in an intensely complimentary way. the differences are perfect.

    i can see why entp and enfp would work too, the more and more i meet and get to know people of these types. all dominant intuitives communicate the fuck out of their ideas with each other. but i also see why this works for me and the huge unfolding map of possibilities open in our situation as we currently have constructed it. it's an inspiring feeling. time to do, to develop, build, etc. and while my home life feels good, there is always a need for other people to become part of your life in other social/discursive spheres. the enps are tops in that list, helping join forces to get something done in a way that we both find mutually rewarding. my intj is more introverted than me, which i think makes it easier gender-wise. we have a really nice balance with i/e and my occasional gushy fness.

    tho, as i always say, i have a big soft spot for inps too. they keep my integrity in check, while providing really artistic, aesthetically rich pools of experience and knowledge. and they make great and inspiring friends, companions, art-mates, etc. but communication is not as easy as with other dominant intuitives, like playing volleyball with 24 volleyballs flying back and forth over the net at the same time and in different directions.
    You have clearly been on typec enough to know a thing or two so I'm not going to go into the fundamentals I'm just going to assume you know. I will only say that I know more than one INFJ/INTJ couple, fairly common when you factor in them being two of the three least common types. By contrast I don't know a single Ne/Ne couple and it would honestly disturb me, other Ne doms feel like family to me.

    I've heard a lot of INFJs say "gross", "that's nasty" or "that's like incest" when talking about Ni/Ni pairings. To partly use something Synarch once said I/I couples have WAY TOO much self and E/E couples don't have enough.

    I think you should get two magnets to illustrate this example, try putting the two -/- together and see how that works, now give the +/+ a try and you'll understand why you see two Is together but never two Es, because with the Es it's very clear there's an issue where as with the two Is they feel safe in a lazy sort of way. Now try the -/+ and you will better understand something that was very clear to Jung.

    As for the introverting/extroverting where it relates to a Ne dom. People WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS! The four most introverted of all the MBTI types are:

    ENTP
    INFP
    INTJ
    INTP

    Notice, you as an INFJ with a secondary Fe function don't make that list. Most introverted would be a Ti/Ne (that's makes perfect sense followed by a Ni/Te, Fi/Ne and coming in as the most introverted of all the extroverts...Ne/Ti.

    I'm saying this because I keep hearing the same thing over and over again about ENTPs and it makes me question if the people saying it actually know one or if they just met one that was extroverting.

    Picture the ENTP like the turbo charged introvert, it's there when we need it but sometimes you seriously need to talk me into using it.

    Hell, Sunday I went out with my INFJ friend at a club and he was hanging in there, I had to walk out just to get away from people cause I couldn't deal with them anymore.

  6. #56
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    Hell, Sunday I went out with my INFJ friend at a club and he was hanging in there, I had to walk out just to get away from people cause I couldn't deal with them anymore.
    I know exactly what you're saying - but just want to make a quick point of clarification. Unlike I introverts, an ENTP doesn't have to back off because he or she is drained of energy from socializing - quite the opposite, in fact. Backing off occurs because the people are boring them, and he or she can find something else much more engaging to be around.

    An ENTP at the club isn't going to want to leave to go home and read a book (the night is way too young). An ENTP at the club is going to want to either find someone to hook up with relatively quickly, find something fun and stupid to do (say, dance like a maniac), find some interesting people to have an in-depth conversation with, or leave. If leaving, and the option presents itself between 1) going home and doing something quiet, 2) go to another club with some more interesting friends, or 3) go to someone's house/Starbucks to have interesting conversations, options 2 and 3 win every time.

  7. #57
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Actually. I'm likely to leave a group because I start feeling like an outsider or different from people. Until I start feeling this way, I am very social.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #58
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    By contrast I don't know a single Ne/Ne couple and it would honestly disturb me, other Ne doms feel like family to me.
    I know an ENTP-ENTP couple that goes off and on. And yes, it is disturbing.

  9. #59
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I know an ENTP-ENTP couple that goes off and on. And yes, it is disturbing.
    I dated an ENFP off and on once. It was fucking exhausting. Constant push / pull and drama and competing for the limelight.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #60
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    As for the introverting/extroverting where it relates to a Ne dom. People WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS! The four most introverted of all the MBTI types are:

    ENTP
    INFP
    INTJ
    INTP
    Why aren't you getting this? Extraversion doesn't have to be about relating to other people. ENTPs are not introverted because their dominant function is Ne, which is focused outside of themselves. Ne needs outside resources, doesn't have to be people though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I dated an ENFP off and on once. It was fucking exhausting. Constant push / pull and drama and competing for the limelight.
    You with an ENFP? Why do I feel bad for her?

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