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  1. #211
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post

    The ENTP/INFJ dynamic is so amazing because if you look at how we look at the world it's:

    Ni Fe Ti Se
    Ne Ti Fe Si

    Where the four dominant intuitives differer so much from other types (and why this dynamic is so interesting among the ENTP/INFJ) is our satisfaction (or mostly, lack of) in relationships due to our desire for a deep mental connection, both are looking for mind mates and both want the ideal relationship. Overall we (dominant intuitives) have the most consistent moral systems and are most likely to be disappointed if someone falls short of those moral standards. Both are very growth oriented, passionate, deep and unwilling to be in a relationship of routine that gets old and lazy in time. You do not "get", "capture", "confine", "own" or "cage" an ENTP, ENFP, INFJ or INTJ, those are the four types that pick you.

    The issue with the difficulty in starting an ENTP/INFJ relationship isn't limited to one thing. First off, neither is used to being understood so there's this never ending clarification and "know what I'm saying", "if that makes sense" issue. Both are in dismay somebody else understands with such ease. However because we take different paths to the same place we'll ask things like "why'd you do that" just to understand, when explained the other person totally gets it but because we're so used to the same thing happening with a different outcome it preys on our frustration or issues of never feeling understood. Secondly the INFJ is hard to get out of their shell and the ENTP is quick to run back to theirs. The INFJ has this feeling initially that they'll never get the space they want because they see the ENTP extroverting and the ENTP swears you're not interested. The INFJ will have this constant push/pull I want it no I don't issue and have to fight to get the flood gate open. The ENTP will have this run while you still can issue and have a tough time keeping the flood gate from shutting. Both speak truly and honestly but have a tendency to try reading between the lines with the other when there's nothing there to be read. We apply our own motivations to the other persons actions which is never correct (different path to the same place) and this all takes some excellent and very open communication. These issues don't last long however so at least that's a plus. We're both a type that never really lets people in and we're both amazing at reading people so we're faced with an issue of holy shit this is going to hurt if it doesn't work so both need to want love more than the fear of having it. We're both so whole alone but together there's an overlapping of abilities that gives the other a peephole (I read that four times and kept thinking there was a missing p) into a whole different world. I can tell you right off the bat, if I (as an ENTP) had internal issues I was hiding I wouldn't even consider pursuing an INFJ until I had my head on right because I know it would be picked up on instantly.

    There two things I would like to add while I'm thinking about them. I've compared the ENTP and INFJ to opposite sides of the same coin saying we're exactly the same yet totally different.

    I would say the ENTP and INFJ are both the oddity of the MBTI world on the introverted and extroverted side. We don't really fit in anyplace and are the two types that most often feel quirky, misunderstood and like there is no way anybody will every accept much less understand and love how different we are.

    Also, ENTPs are the slowest to mature and the INFJ is of course the quickest so I think a 5 to 10 year age difference with the ENTP being older is ideal if not essential. The downside for the INFJ maturing so quickly is because you already feel so different and alone (the ENTP does as well but being the extrovert with an over sized ego they haven't noticed it yet and is enjoying still thinking they're better than everybody else) you also don't feel like you fit in with other people your age so by the time the ENTP has matured the INFJ is feeling jaded, frustrated and starting to let go of that ideal picture of love they've always had and can find in the ENTP.
    First I think what you wrote was pretty spot on as fare as what I have encountered. Second thank for posting this. It totally made me feel better. I have a few questions...

    I recently met a ENTP and we hit it off... then he became reclusive... he got bombarded with an ex that is unhealthy and wants him back. I feel like we connected and that he does like me but is scared of getting hurt. His ex girlfriends have cheated on him. I could see the hurt in his eyes and tried to tell him through my eyes that I am not going to hurt him. I am unsure what to do... Do I back off and let him come to me? Or do I lightly nudge him? I feel like he is going through a lot with the ex complicating things... I feel like he did connect with me then the ex threw him for a loop and now he is confused? Oh ya we are five years apart... I am the oldest, 30 he is 25.

  2. #212
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    I actually have A LOT of thoughts on this post and have it set aside to totally revamp as I have adjusted many of my previous thoughts which were modeled on unhealthy/repressed INFJs, something I didn't know at the time due to how few I knew.

    As for your situation, I take a lot of peace in knowing the world is exactly as it should be which is something I'd suggest you do as well. So much of love really does come down to timing, I think both the INFJ and the ENTP shine their brightest after overcoming hurt, pain, depression or other adversity which it sounds like he still needs to go through. I would personally avoid any situation that involved anything that didn't just flow and feel totally natural, comfortable and most of all safe. If he has fears, I would allow him to address those issues on his own, it isn't your responsibility to make him feel safe, it's his to want love more than the fear of having it and, recognize that you are not his past. I know that isn't the answer you want to hear but I would take a few steps back from the situation, let go of any and all attachment to an outcome and let it play out as it plays out.

  3. #213
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    I'd love to meet a fantastic ENTP woman, especially after she realizes that I like her for all of the reasons that most give her static.

  4. #214
    Tier 1 Member LunaLuminosity's Avatar
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    Because INFJs and ENTPs are baked with 20% more awesomesauce than the leading pair, obviously.

  5. #215
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    You know, I can't argue against that. My awesomesauce is fortified with vitamins and minerals.

  6. #216
    yap yap yap xenaprincess's Avatar
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    I don't think this is a foolproof pairing. I'm sure when it works, it works, like most couples.

    I have friends who are ENTPs and INFJ's and they are not necessarily close. The ENTP generally looks at the INFJ and can't understand what all the fuss is about.

  7. #217
    Member ChihuahuaRevolt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I never tried to reason with her then or to bring reason back to her. I do exactly the opposite, I try to feel with her and have her back and I let her figure out what she wants for herself. I know thats prolly very mind-controlling but it gives my gf the ability to think on her own and not to be indocrinated by her strong thinking male friend. Furthermore it gives me the ability to learn alot about her and my own feelings, entering realms of perception, I never knew existed.



    That bears some truth. You have to say P-ness tho, thats far more funny

    I like this. What alot of people dont get about me inparticularly, is when my feelings get involed, Im going to be entirely subjective, and in a complete "feeling" mode, because that is the nature of whatever issue it may be, and the LAST thing I want at that time is for someone to try to logic away the situation or try to get me to look at it from a non-emotional standpoint. I would also like to say that I dont go crazy over every little small thing that happens, so when I do get emotional about something that happened and want to vent, I expect the other person to listen and empathize. If they cant empathize, thats fine, but if they just blow off the way Im feeling then I do get all kinds of crazy. That will unleash the beast. Its very insensitive, and guess what.....everyone has feelings and they do matter. I would like to have the right to express mine the way I see fit, so long as I am not hurting anyone else.

    I also think that the same idea should go for the other side.....the dark side (the thinkers) ha
    If you are going on telling me about something from an objective standpoint, Im not going to try to reason your logic away with emotions....thats insensible....in fact.....its not logical!!

    Another reason it makes me angry is because even in that moment where my mind is ruled by my feelings, I have not completely thrown logic away. I can see it and recognize it, but in that moment that is not what its about. There is a time and place for everything, and if you will just let me vent and deal with whatever issue is going on at the time, it clears my head and then allows me to think calmly about the situation. Its kind of like feeling function first, thinking function second. I could be wrong about this, but I have a "thinker" friend who does the opposite. Thinking function first, feeling function second. He may look at things objectively and logically at first to deal with it, but does have some emotions about it afterwards, even though he usually doesnt show them.

    I would also like to say that each side has admirable qualitites, and both sides can be taken to the extreme. In the end, its not so much about Fi/Fe or Ti/Te this.....its about two different and unique human beings coming together to understand each other better. It would be pretty stupid and immature to expect everyone else to be just like you....and if they were, what a dull grey world we would live in.


    /rant over ^_^



    Oh, and P-ness IS way funnier!

  8. #218
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChihuahuaRevolt View Post
    I like this. What alot of people dont get about me inparticularly, is when my feelings get involed, Im going to be entirely subjective, and in a complete "feeling" mode, because that is the nature of whatever issue it may be, and the LAST thing I want at that time is for someone to try to logic away the situation or try to get me to look at it from a non-emotional standpoint. I would also like to say that I dont go crazy over every little small thing that happens, so when I do get emotional about something that happened and want to vent, I expect the other person to listen and empathize. If they cant empathize, thats fine, but if they just blow off the way Im feeling then I do get all kinds of crazy. That will unleash the beast. Its very insensitive, and guess what.....everyone has feelings and they do matter. I would like to have the right to express mine the way I see fit, so long as I am not hurting anyone else.

    I also think that the same idea should go for the other side.....the dark side (the thinkers) ha
    If you are going on telling me about something from an objective standpoint, Im not going to try to reason your logic away with emotions....thats insensible....in fact.....its not logical!!

    Another reason it makes me angry is because even in that moment where my mind is ruled by my feelings, I have not completely thrown logic away. I can see it and recognize it, but in that moment that is not what its about. There is a time and place for everything, and if you will just let me vent and deal with whatever issue is going on at the time, it clears my head and then allows me to think calmly about the situation. Its kind of like feeling function first, thinking function second. I could be wrong about this, but I have a "thinker" friend who does the opposite. Thinking function first, feeling function second. He may look at things objectively and logically at first to deal with it, but does have some emotions about it afterwards, even though he usually doesnt show them.

    I would also like to say that each side has admirable qualitites, and both sides can be taken to the extreme. In the end, its not so much about Fi/Fe or Ti/Te this.....its about two different and unique human beings coming together to understand each other better. It would be pretty stupid and immature to expect everyone else to be just like you....and if they were, what a dull grey world we would live in.


    /rant over ^_^



    Oh, and P-ness IS way funnier!
    I think one problem is that for thinkers the emotional side is actually the dark side. The reason for this is that when you are being subjective about something, you are in 99% of the cases telling how YOU fell about it. In a wider sense this could be called egoism. So in a discussion the thinker could start feeling pissed because he thinks you are being very egoistic and are seeing things only from your PoV, without an expanded imagination on how it could be for others.

    In a cereful analysis this whole topic bears far more details than one might imagine on first glance. If this was a bit clearer I think many more discussions between F and T types would be better.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #219
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Apparently a lot of people did not think highly of this thread. I bet it was the INFPs who want to ENTPs all for themselves!! Or maybe it was the ESTPs who want the INFJs for themselves.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  10. #220
    Member ChihuahuaRevolt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I think one problem is that for thinkers the emotional side is actually the dark side. The reason for this is that when you are being subjective about something, you are in 99% of the cases telling how YOU fell about it. In a wider sense this could be called egoism. So in a discussion the thinker could start feeling pissed because he thinks you are being very egoistic and are seeing things only from your PoV, without an expanded imagination on how it could be for others.

    In a cereful analysis this whole topic bears far more details than one might imagine on first glance. If this was a bit clearer I think many more discussions between F and T types would be better.

    Oh wow. That does make sense. My bf has told me this before basically when we have gotten into a slight argument. He has been labeled as an NF......but I really think he leads with Te/Ti (not sure which) in alot of scenerios.

    I have never thought of the egoism thing. I can see where it might come off that way. This is something I will have to ponder for while.

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