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  1. #161
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    I have heard this many times from an ENTP, something I must he says I have a calming effect, which makes me laugh as I don't feel particularly calm inside but it is exude inadvertently. It comes from being patient, consistent, dealing with my emotions in-house and having mutual understanding as the goal.

    I most definitely have a dark side but it's something I keep to myself.

    All of that means I'm not unpredictable in the nature of the way I engage with someone. I know for more flighty people that that is comforting... that I will consistently be there and have their back no matter what. And I do mean no matter what. I am also very self-contained, I am happy for my partner to go off and do whatever makes them happy. I have no desire to mold another person into what I want. I am interested in optimal dynamic which requires two satisfied people. (Downside: not really going to dazzle someone right out of the gate. That's ok, I don't like to be rushed anyway, so a slower reveal is ok by me. Means you might miss out on someone you like who is into that. C'est la vie.)

    People I care about can do and say the most dreadful things (in hindsight) but if I know it's a mistake or they are troubled it just doesn't get to me. I have broad shoulders, I will take it. I do not require a pound of flesh in return. I stand up for myself as well but it is always in a gentle way. I do not explode. And over time this breeds trust for both parties.

    I think INFJ and ENTP recoil from being openly vulnerable. So an INFJ will approach in the way we like to be approached - gently, so as not to spook. I don't know why but I do know in my bones that many of them need this just as I do.

    It's just a very complimentary dynamic that goes very deep as both people gradually peel away their layers for each other. And the process, once set in motion becomes highly compelling. Falling into trust, it's a very beautiful feeling.
    Haha, random enfp is dive bombing your thread, please forgive my ignorance and presumptions-they are really just ideas percolating and I am eager to be corrected, but I think they may contain some truth.

    First-ENTP women actually may happy with INTP guys or others as well. However I'd argue ENTP men really are most beautiful with INFJ women. ISFJ would be a second best alternative.

    I bolded a few sentences above in sanveane's post. As of late I have cheated a tiny bit of Fe. (It's a bit like playing dress-up, I dont want to keep it, but I can use it here and there to facillitate. I would never use cheated Fe as the foundation of a relationship.)

    From the cheated Fe-Fe is very calming and quiet. When using Fi, under stress, I emotionally emit into my surroundings. It can be very subtle, only slight facial expressions, slight increase in voice volume. The EXTP men I work with sense it and become anxious. "You made my stomach drop" or " I feel like I need a xanex" are things they say. ENTP women respond and say I seem emotional. I enjoy entp women as I find them calming, their Fe helps me become less stressed.

    When cheating with Fe-when I become upset, my voice actually drops in volume, and rather than being assertive, I end up feeling very sweet-ickily so from the Te perspective.

    I would suggest that when an innate FiTe/TeFi user becomes stressed we activate a "fight or flight" response that increases adrenlin levels to prepare for a Te defensive measure. You can sense this as externalized anxiety, hostility or even an agressive stance. Others will call it emo, but it may not be emotionally based.

    When an FeTi/TiFe user becomes stressed, they say they feel like the calm in the eye of a storm. I would suggest this is an increase in cortisol or endorphin levels to provide a calming effect. It may really be "fight. flight or submit", where Fe provides that Submit choice. It allows the user to relax, calmly survey the surroundings and submit, waiting for a more opportune moment to alter course.

    My guess is that EXTP men have lower levels of the "submit" hormone naturally, thus when they interact with an ENFP, it can knock them out of that low stress, happy place and into a higher stress, anxious place-ie the ENFP induces anxiety in the EXTP male.

    With an INFJ, the EXTP man will actually become part of the Fe calming feedback loop between the two and it will reinforce a drop in anxiety levels-a calm feeling, which grows stronger over time. I would suggest that consistant calm feeling, with lack of anxiety, is what allows for mutual trust to develop.

    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post

    You're right, we're all human.

    The bolded in response to Domino's discussion of her discomfort-Very familiar... I went through this discussion with my entp friend the other day.

    EDIT: Actually-I would expect any Fe user to be able to work okay with an EXTP-not just an INFJ. An EXFJ should provide the same calm?

  2. #162
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    no. it's N dom communication, plus the same judgment functions. = transparency, understanding, anticipation, and trust.

    the trust is there more easily bc everything just unfolds a little more naturally. it's you repackaged with the opposite intuition perspective, supplying both past AND present insights.
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  3. #163
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    no. it's N dom communication, plus the same judgment functions. = transparency, understanding, anticipation, and trust.

    the trust is there more easily bc everything just unfolds a little more naturally. it's you repackaged with the opposite intuition perspective, supplying both past AND present insights.
    Ah, yes the grounding Ni. I do love my INTJs.

  4. #164
    Junior Member ms-mngrl's Avatar
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    Ok, that makes a lot of sense...however, order is very important to us...so maybe this means we are going to have to work harder at it...especially since I work in the world of so many SJ's. Are there other NF's out there working with SJ's? How does that work for you? (I definately appreciate their orderliness...but sometimes it comes with a certain judging element).

  5. #165
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    I found some humor is being told I wouldn't like what somebody had to say followed with them not saying it. I laughed, I said wow, there's a high post count, now I know why.
    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    This statement makes no sense at all.
    CaptainChic, you are joking right?
    That was friggin' hilarious!

    (sorry, I just wanted to compliment on the joke, even though "it" probably knew how ingenious it was already.)

    I'll follow this thread with interest!
    Open for interpretation.
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  6. #166
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Is there a similar ENFP/INTJ dynamic? The same relationship would seem to apply.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  7. #167
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    You seriously need to ask?

    Also, just because some combo's hit it off really really easily, doesn't mean you get along with all members of the breed you get along with so well. I've known INTJs as well that make me go :rolli:
    And I'm sure that there are INTJs that have the same with some ENFPs. Same goes probably for NFJ-NTP
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  8. #168
    Alexander the Terrible yenom's Avatar
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    I don't know about INFJs, but I am completely incompatible with ENFJs.
    No offence, they are really fake people that try to please everyone.

  9. #169
    the Dark Prophet of Kualu
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    Quote Originally Posted by cloud View Post
    I don't know about INFJs, but I am completely incompatible with ENFJs.
    No offence, they are really fake people that try to please everyone.
    I wonder how you came to that conclusion, as there isn't that many people of that type and yet you seem to have met most of them.
    Open for interpretation.
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    Fell for the temptation: Nohari / Johari

  10. #170
    Alexander the Terrible yenom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gtzk View Post
    I wonder how you came to that conclusion, as there isn't that many people of that type and yet you seem to have met most of them.
    True. i maybe too quick to judge.

    But nevertheless, this is the impression i get from them.

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