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  1. #91
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    I always feel too impersonal around INFJs. I try to make jokes and live out my normal character and I sometimes get the impression that they think I'm just nuts and don't care about them.

    But I love them.
    I feel like the alien 90+% of the time because my mind works so differently and connections are weird enough that people really only respond with: 'Wow, that was kinda way out there, dude.' and after that I kind of stay quiet and grumble on the inside.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  2. #92
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    I dunno, tertiary Fe maybe? Its like they're always trying to sell me on their apparent 'awesomeness.'

    Then I cant even shrink the ego down a notch because they have all that Ne that blocks any of my stuttering arguments.

    I don't have much of an ego. Someone who knows me might be a better judge of the way I seem, but my heart and my mind are humble. I don't think I'm more awesome than anyone else. I'm just me.


    This could be an enneagram difference (i'm 7w6). I'm not sure.

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    Wow, that was long, I wonder if a single person will read that. Oh well, it was too much effort to write not to share on here.
    I read it. Thanks for clearing up so many questions I have had rolling around in my pretty little head for the past 22 years (ok, maybe a little less..).

  4. #94

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    I read your post, but not all the replies...

    Interesting, since recently I said something on Twitter about being an INFJ. Shortly after, someone called "InfjAdmirer" began following me on Twitter - and he's an ENTP. It wasn't you, was it?

    Anyway - your post was very insightful, and everything you said really does make sense about how the INFJ/ENTP match would be great. But I think it still comes down to an individual basis (obviously). I have an ENTP male friend and - it's true, we both could probably have endless conversations and he's very much a thinker - but he is SO extraverted and high-energy... omg I could NEVER do that. I can only take so much of that...
    He married my close friend, a highly extraverted ENFJ, though, and they are great for each other.

    So it comes down to the individual.

    ...okay, now I will peruse the other replies. I just always forget what I meant to say when I read everyone's replies first...
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #95

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    Quote Originally Posted by Entropie
    From my personal experience with my INFJ, we behave like the exact opposite to that. If someone does something stupid, I look at my infj and she totally got it. If we two go together shopping, we wont explain or organize things, we work in a symbiotic function, everybody exactly knowing how the plan is, whats to do and therefore the shopping experience becomes second nature to both of us, leaving us with a lot of time to joke around and to point out keen flaws about reality we witness
    That's so cool. Such a wonderful thing to have in a relationship - and very hard to find.

    Quote Originally Posted by Entropie
    I never tried to reason with her then or to bring reason back to her. I do exactly the opposite, I try to feel with her and have her back and I let her figure out what she wants for herself. I know thats prolly very mind-controlling but it gives my gf the ability to think on her own and not to be indocrinated by her strong thinking male friend. Furthermore it gives me the ability to learn alot about her and my own feelings, entering realms of perception, I never knew existed.
    I think that's very wise of you.
    My ISTP husband sometimes wants to "fix" things and tell me what I need to do - when I really just need to vent, and after I vent I know what I should do.
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #96

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward
    I feel like the alien 90+% of the time because my mind works so differently and connections are weird enough that people really only respond with: 'Wow, that was kinda way out there, dude.' and after that I kind of stay quiet and grumble on the inside.
    Ha! I feel like this too.
    It's really annoying.

    Especially because usually I'll be pretty quiet and observe the dynamic(s) of the person (people) I'm with before deciding if I'll come out of my "shell" or not and truly be myself. Then sometimes I'll say something that IS true to myself and I get that wide-eyed, sort of, "Where did THAT come from?" Or the dreaded "smile, nod, and ignore" expression.
    I HATE that.
    "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you will always long to return."
    - Leonardo da Vinci

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #97
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by weakshadeofblue View Post
    He married my close friend, a highly extraverted ENFJ, though, and they are great for each other.
    How is it that an ENTP/ENFJ pairing could be great for each other? Not saying they can't be but I have a tough time with dominant feelers and an ENFJ would not only dry me insane by not giving me enough space and being too needy but they have no sense of self. I doubt one will even respond to that because ENFJs don't post in the forums due to always being out doing something for somebody other than themselves.

    There are many reasons I question the INFJ/ENTP pairing as it's hard to find an INFJ that's all there and not lost in taking care of somebody else but some of the most amazing people I know are INFJs though I think they fair pretty poorly if raised by the wrong people causing nature versus nature to play a fairly large roll in what they're like as adults.

  8. #98
    Junior Member Anastar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    How is it that an ENTP/ENFJ pairing could be great for each other? Not saying they can't be but I have a tough time with dominant feelers and an ENFJ would not only dry me insane by not giving me enough space and being too needy but they have no sense of self. I doubt one will even respond to that because ENFJs don't post in the forums due to always being out doing something for somebody other than themselves.

    There are many reasons I question the INFJ/ENTP pairing as it's hard to find an INFJ that's all there and not lost in taking care of somebody else but some of the most amazing people I know are INFJs though I think they fair pretty poorly if raised by the wrong people causing nature versus nature to play a fairly large roll in what they're like as adults.
    I have two entp friends that are completely happy with their enfj's. The enfj takes care of the entp on different levels(Fe) while knowing when to call them on their bullshit.

    My sister is INFJ and she says that she could never ever date an entp. She says she can handle them as friends, but she feels like she could never be herself around someone so critical, flighty, and easily bored. She feels like she's constantly being poked and prodded.

    She's introverted but most think she is extroverted. She has dated a lot of different guys, but has dumped every single one for one reason or another(she has never been dumped). I will say that they were all weaker, but I doubt she will ever find a mate that is as or more strong than her. She takes care of people and easily, if a little reluctantly, falls into positions of leadership.

    I think you are right about finding an entp that is older, because I think she finds the young one's too unstable or unreliable. She has a tough shell around her and even her closest friends of 4 years don't know her that well.

    How do entp's react when people show a vulnerable side?(I mean in the sense that the person reveals a problem or issue that might for a moment make them appear vulnerable.) I think INFJ's have a thing about not wanting to appear vulnerable, so they hold everything inside, trying to bear the weight of their problems on their own.

    I think this is where her problem with entp's stems. She doesn't want to appear vulnerable in front of a person so critical. She thinks an entp wouldn't be able to understand her. Is this true? I don't think so, but it differs with the person. Is the entp more likely to understand and appreciate the INFJ if they are older?

  9. #99
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anastar View Post

    My sister is INFJ and she says that she could never ever date an entp. She says she can handle them as friends, but she feels like she could never be herself around someone so critical, flighty, and easily bored. She feels like she's constantly being poked and prodded.


    I think you are right about finding an entp that is older, because I think she finds the young one's too unstable or unreliable.
    Maturity's probably an important factor, and whether or not she and the entp's she knows really connect on multiple levels or share a lot of commonalities/perspectives; without that, it would be difficult to build a level of trust in the first place.

    How do entp's react when people show a vulnerable side?(I mean in the sense that the person reveals a problem or issue that might for a moment make them appear vulnerable.) I think INFJ's have a thing about not wanting to appear vulnerable, so they hold everything inside, trying to bear the weight of their problems on their own.

    I think this is where her problem with entp's stems. She doesn't want to appear vulnerable in front of a person so critical. She thinks an entp wouldn't be able to understand her. Is this true? I don't think so, but it differs with the person. Is the entp more likely to understand and appreciate the INFJ if they are older?
    I relate to not wanting to appear vulnerable or 'weak', so it can be hard for me to be vulnerable.

    As to your sister thinking the entp's are too critical, I dunno; I mean, I think they're critical with most - especially those they don't respect/like very much to begin with. But of the ones they do like, they can be deeply understanding and empathetic. But honestly I can be the same way so I don't have as much of an issue with the critical nature - in general - some entp's might have? (I say 'some' because I only know a couple irl) But I will say of the ones I know, I would probably be MORE trusting of them, when I was needing to talk about a topic that is typically more vulnerable to me, than with pretty much anyone else I know - and it's because we share very similar general outlooks on life (I think it's the Ne/Ni dom thing), just with different twists...but generally very similar.

    Not that I'd necessarily feel the same way with all entp's, because I doubt I would; again it does boil down to the individual as well, and whether or not there's that common ground and trust to begin with. Sounds like your sister doesn't really have that trust built.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #100
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Can someone sum up what's written here, I am far too lazy to read
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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