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  1. #51
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I wouldn't be so sure she was an INFJ. ISFPs, INFPs, INTJs, and ISFJs can look very similar.

    If she was, she was probably a desperate one with an unusually high libido, and intended to let you do that.

    I kind of doubt you have anything to be proud of.
    I didn't want to say it, but yes.

  2. #52
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I wouldn't be so sure she was an INFJ. ISFPs, INFPs, INTJs, and ISFJs can look very similar.

    If she was, she was probably a desperate one with an unusually high libido, and intended to let you do that.

    I kind of doubt you have anything to be proud of.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I didn't want to say it, but yes.
    Thanks for the revelation 2 years after I figured that out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Oh noes, another illusion bites the dust. Sorry, runvardh.
    Most do.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #53
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Thanks for the revelation 2 years after I figured that out.
    Figured what out? That she wasn't an INFJ? Or that she was desperate?

  4. #54
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Figured what out? That she wasn't an INFJ? Or that she was desperate?
    Desperate, she had told me she was INFJ.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #55
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Desperate, she had told me she was INFJ.
    Anyone in an unhealthy state of mind can be enticed into doing things they otherwise wouldn't. But I don't believe people anymore when they say "Oh, I know this INFJ..." Prove it.

  6. #56
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    INFJ on its shadow side is like that.

  7. #57
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Come to think of it... I think INFJs naturally do something similar to seduction in an unconscious way..
    Yup.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i think Ni dom is a little too sensitive for cliches for most "acts of seduction" to work, tho, at the same time, i don't view them too negatively. a few Ti connections, a bit of game-playing, a bit o' strategy, if you see an opportunity that could be great than fu8cking GO for it.

    but for an infj to be seductive, so much of it is about fit, confidence, and chemistry. a reason to self-assert.

    i've noticed with N doms i end up being much much much more open, free, lite, etc. i can jump around and kind of spazz out drawing little maps and stories and fairy tales. tumbling down the well. i think when we are open and really connected, which for me needs some privacy from the outside world like in the yo la tengo song my little corner of the world, i act very charming and enfj like. very disarming, goofy, spontaneous, pure F naivete and innocence and faith, etc.

    but yeah, your convictions, your sensitivity to others, your insights, your idealism and desire for actualization and human potential, your humane spirit even if it sometimes clogs up the warmth from the pores of your skin, your writing voice, your quiet intensity, complexity, and mystery, and your deeply experimental mind-experiment are what make up your infjness. plus we can be both quirky AND a bit dark, really bridge the F-T gap well, big contrast, stylized, mood-sensitive but still abstract, critical, and insightful. we know how to use the symbols out there to locate ourselves, express taste and aesthetic-ethical interest, worldview, etc. we dig sharing values with others, it makes us feel warm and tingly and resonate/buzz hard.

    finding a way to create a look for you that expresses how you fit and don't fit into pre-established discursive lines of culture, lifestyle, socio-economic lines, etc is a good start in creating a space for yourself, a statement, etc. making something, saying something, doing something, putting yourself out there. creating a bit more self-sufficiency, confidence, etc, and allowing yourself to test the waters more freely, let go a bit more, more openness to new experience, less immediate judging, less Ni paranoia and restrictiveness, etc. allowing yourself to connect wtih the world outside of yourself more freely, improve the thru traffic, and share yourself and your gifts more openly with the world. which will also make you better and smarter, give your iNtuition more to process and more reality checks, knock you off your high horse.
    Yup. (Though not really an act per se as I just feel very warmly towards that person so my fun side comes out to play. Not that I think you are saying it's an act.)

    Personal interest is seductive. INFJs can appear very seductive in the way that they take a personal interest in someone. Especially as expressed in one on one conversations. The laser-like focus, genuine interest and desire to understand and connect on the part of an INFJ makes for a very intense exchange. I also suspect many people don't regularly experience that kind of exchange so it can stand out, assuming they appreciate being the focus of someone's attention.

    This is heightened when I am touched by the plight of another because the genuine interest often extends past an initial conversation. Though I am not trying to be seductive I have been told from an outsider's POV that I can seem very interested in someone because I am so engaged when in those situations.

    If I am interested in someone I will become very focused on them. I will ensure I am a presence in their life (without manipulating to be a presence in their life.) The best way to describe it that I've heard is "being aggressively available" (attributed to Synarch). i.e. I will make sure I don't miss any opportunity to interact with them - saying yes to all invitations, going to parties when I know they will be there and I will ask them out too.

    To me it seems like I am being aggressive in pursuit but I have been told I appear quite aloof because I still play my cards close to my chest until it comes time to express my feelings for someone.

    EDIT: And we are seductive in that we tailor our approach to others, as Cascadeco mentioned. I want to connect with the person so I try to pitch at their level.

  8. #58
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    This is how to seduce AS an INFJ. Meaning if you are an INFJ, how would you go about seducing others. Not how to seduce an INFJ (in which case the answer is that you can't).
    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    My experience too. If someone tries to seduce me (in the sense that he is only interested in sex) he will get doorslammed so quickly he doesn't even know what's happening to him (and I will giggle to myself underneath my cold exterior). Most guys don't even try, if he is only interested in a fling it's far too much effort.
    Seduction is not always obvious or overt. This is why it is called seduction and not abduction. And sex may be one goal of many as it is the culmination of desire and desire is more than pure physicality. How can you tell desire from pure sexual hunger? It is not always clear cut.

    To seduce is to create desire. To please. To recognize what someone wants and then to provide the promise of this desire. Paying the utmost attention and seeking to please the object of your desire. And in the pleasing, you lead them away from themselves and to you. You seduce.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    The INFJ tool of seduction is being the only one who truly understands.
    INFJ's are seductive because they attend to other people very well. They pay attention. They show interest. They care. They are accepting. They try to see beneath the surface. They appreciate how you are different and special. They do not accede to what Society values. This is very compelling, especially to people who feel misunderstood or complicated or different.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #59
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    I forgot to add something.

    INFJ's are seductive to me in that they respect my boundaries. I do not like to be controlled and I do not respond well to overt attention. If someone comes on to me, for some reason, I don't trust it. If they like me too soon, I wonder how they can like me without even knowing me? Logically, I know that someone can have an initial attraction and this can deepen over time, but I just trust things more if they develop and grow in a slow and unforced way.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #60
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I forgot to add something.

    INFJ's are seductive to me in that they respect my boundaries. I do not like to be controlled and I do not respond well to overt attention. If someone comes on to me, for some reason, I don't trust it. If they like me too soon, I wonder how they can like me without even knowing me? Logically, I know that someone can have an initial attraction and this can deepen over time, but I just trust things more if they develop and grow in a slow and unforced way.
    Heh, it's nice to know that that actually works for some people, I often feel like I move slowly in getting to know someone. It makes me slightly anxious about missing out on that person but it just doesn't work out well if I rush into something.

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