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Thread: ENFP and ESFP

  1. #11
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    is it just me or is enfp and esfp like the old friend you had growing up who was your best friend and then you go to college and come back and you're just counting the days until classes start again and you can be back with your new world? the "we just grew apart" kinda thing?

  2. #12
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    Haha...this site has helped me so much I decided to enter my ENFP-ESFP story. I'm an ENFP female, my now ex-bf was ESFP, everything everyone has said is sooo true. It starts out like fireworks (literally,my hand 'accidently' brushed his and we both felt electricity...and that was the very first time we'd ever met period.) and you think wow I found someone who cares about people as much as I do! ESFP's are so people-loving, like ENFP's are. As an ENFP, i have other NF friends to talk to so i didn't need deep intellectual conversations; when we were together it was just really nice and peaceful and fun. The kicker was commitment. My bf said the L-word very early (third date?) but it was mutual, and he talked commitment, and kids, from the very very start. But the ENFP finds that it's just that, all talk. Cause the ESFP still has a lot of fun he wants to get to first. And although he treats you like a most precious Queen when you are together, his friends, and his fun, and himself are like 1,2, and 3. You sit at 4. And that's not going to change. It was a wild roller-coaster ride (i had thought this meant it was 'passionate love'), and we both were crazy about each other and wanted to make it work, but for us that meant ENFP's needs are never met if it's a draw between what ESFP needs and what ENFP needs. It's like at some point i just went glassy eyed and knew i had to leave for my sanity. I didn't care much for the ESFP's constant need to be noticed but i could tolerate that. My ESFP did exaggerate stories (I mean serious exaggeration), sometimes people look at them like they are dumb, but they really aren't dumb, they are just sentimental softies. I'd say if I found a more mature ESFP I'd try an ENFP-ESFP match all over again. They are just fun, and as an ENFP I stay in my own head too much anyways, I need a release and an ESFP provides that. Or maybe i'm a psychopath addicted to the severe highs and lows :P One other thing: ESFP's flirt, and they like to attract. I didn't think this would be an issue since I was definitely the more attractive one in the match, no contest. But the sentimental ESFP will seem to be sacrificing a lot of potential gf-time to respond to 'save me' pleas via text coming from other girls trying to catch him?
    Likes Alassea liked this post

  3. #13
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    is it just me or is enfp and esfp like the old friend you had growing up who was your best friend and then you go to college and come back and you're just counting the days until classes start again and you can be back with your new world? the "we just grew apart" kinda thing?
    YES!


    and Anna, I agree. I'd only consider a mature ESFP, from what I've seen, it'd be a roller coaster of emotions. It looks passionate on the outside, but really draining on the inside. I was never actually in a relationship with the ESFP guy I know, but we almost were, and that is the most painful experience ever.
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

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