User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 150

  1. #51
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I know it seems counter intuitive, but as a minority and a female growing up in the 80s, people made a big deal to tell me I could never have been this or that in whatever era we were discussing. Now, I have to remind people that I am "different" from them. It seems a little more progressive, if not complimentary. And in exchange, I tend to see less "white devils" running around. Just sayin'.
    Totally agree, it was a good point to bring up.

    My daughter is Asian, btw... but our family never remembers... nor does she. We don't even notice the physical differences as being in different racial categories at this point.

    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    It wasn't about not caring about your hypothetical plight. It was about momentarily forgetting that you were in any way different from them or at a disadvantage historically speaking.
    I couldn't just assume something like that.

    To me, it seems more probable that it was PARTLY this.... but also to SOME degree that they weren't thinking about past history from any other racial POV but theirs and not even considering that blacks would have been slaves and perceiving PM's plight ahead of time, until she brought it up.

    (... and sorry, just like when Jenocyde mentioned how she can't turn off Ne, well, I can't turn my nuance-thinking skill off either, I see potential loopholes in assumptions right away and have trouble not acknowledging them.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #52
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Well for me, it always seems to depress me if I go too much into my head so I kind of have stopped going really deep inside myself in order to loosen up a bit. However, if I really need to critically analyze and be insightful about something, I can be very thoughtful. Once I wrote a paper about "the idealization of love vs. real love" which took hours of thought.

  3. #53
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    4,909

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Hmmm, hadn't thought of that. My point was to make them see my separateness and not lump me in. I wanted to be different then because having them see my differentness would've helped them to understand my POV much better and in my mind lead to better communication.
    The issue is....you could probably think of instances/situations where you'd be just as frustrated if they separated you due to your race...pointed out how you were not one of them. So, from their end, it's the least conflict-rearing approach....you are one of them until stated otherwise, versus, you are NOT one of them, until stated otherwise. The third option is case by case....and there's an element of unpredictability in that, meaning, they would be playing the odds of when it would be best to see you as same/different. More chances of possible conflict. Hence, the most likely choice is, 'you are one of us, until we get jolted to see your difference primarily through the lens of race [gender]'. More about you beyond your race and gender. Isn't that a sign of acceptance in friendship?

  4. #54
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    6,387

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IDK123 View Post
    Well for me, it always seems to depress me if I go too much into my head so I kind of have stopped going really deep inside myself in order to loosen up a bit. However, if I really need to critically analyze and be insightful about something, I can be very thoughtful. Once I wrote a paper about "the idealization of love vs. real love" which took hours of thought.
    Hahaha, but you are still thinking of feelings! cute!

    I know what you mean, though. It's exhausting and draining to delve into deep feelings - to take that journey...

  5. #55
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I have noticed a very marked pattern of when any type tries to ask a serious question to ENFJs the thread very quickly degenerates into platitudes, anecdotal stories, and misplaced sympathy. Even mongrel ENFPs manage to give some insightful posts into their psyche but I have not seen that very often with threads aimed at ENFJs. Either they get less than 10 responses, six of which are made by non-ENFJs or they turn into "NO YOU'RE AWESOME!!" Chinese firedrills.
    Guilty as charged. I tend to have knee-jerk humor, and I'm sorry for any truly unnecessary derails on my part.

    I'd just like to know why is it finding thoughtfully elucidated statements from ENFJs on the forum is nigh impossible. I'm not talking about sympathizing or charming or cracking a joke. Part of the reason why I can only muster two posts a day is because I try to THINK about the responses I give and make them reasoned. The hamsters in my brain say no more after a certain point.
    May I also be blunt here?

    For one thing, yes, you're right -- I like to sit down and really apply myself to a serious response. I have trouble with this because I have a lot going on mentally and am physically exhausted by relentless external forces that I won't go into, so even things I may be interested in fall down in the queue, regardless of how interested in them I am.

    My INFJ father and I were having a riveting conversation on the way home from the specialist's office about the St. Valentine's Day massacre and the birth of modern ballistic forensics, so I have plenty going on to feed me, but the energy it takes to relate that information? Too much, many times. I tend to be a storage device.

    Maybe jokes are "easy" for us? Stress relief? I'm with IDK, I get so depressed because I'm up in my head all the time, and it can be a very stressful place, so when I emerge, I tend to come out looking for someone/something to jerk the release valve in whatever form that takes.

    Also (this is the blunt part), when I first arrived here, I found the general air of the forum to be wholly ignorant, fearful and cynical about ENFJs, and that the merest mention of us elicited a cross and garlic lei-making frenzy. That saddened and annoyed me to no end, esp since this was supposed to be a place where people could get to know each other in an non-judgmental environment based on a scientific theory meant to elucidate our personal interactions, not YET ANOTHER blunt force object used to brain whomever didn't pass muster with a disgruntled few clustering up in one spot like barnacles.

    I stuck around for the people who were actually giving me a try and helping me learn about myself too in the process. I've met so many great people here.

    However. IMO, the rock-throwing still keeps occurring and most of it seems to come from near total lack of experience with our type. Obnoxious. Do you remember how the atmosphere changed when Jeffster arrived? We didn't have many ISFPs and he really stuck it out against huge Senser bias. Glad he did.

    And for the record, if I hear one more "ENFPs are sluts" comment, I may eat my shoe.


    So what do you have to say ENFJs? What do you THINK about? What are you THOUGHTFUL about? If I cut your brain open what would I see? Are you like a pinata and candy will fall out? Will the secrets of the universe be revealed? I'm obviously being a little sarcastic but I'm really curious to know.

    Talk to me.
    What *don't* I think about? I'm so fortunate as to have subscriptions to Scientific American (my Ti exercise!), Smithsonian, and Nat'l Geo. I'm interested in everything (not CSI bullet-wound yuck, though, thanks...)

    One of my favorite subjects is linguistics -- it's like rock layers, giving up it's forensic data only on a social level. I was stating in my blog that I'd met a man at the doctor's office, just by chance, who had the oddest accent. I sat there processing it, and thought I had it right, but asked him politely where he was from anyway. Virginia, he said. Hmm, coastal plain? I asked. Anyone saying "cansuh centuh" is coastal. He seemed very pleased to have been "found out" as a Virginian. I think I would be very happy to go into linguistics as a science.

    I'm also a fiend for genealogy, ancient history and hermeneutics. My sister lovingly calls me her egghead because of the strange things I regurgitate. I'm like everyone else, I forget things, esp things I need to be doing *NOW*, but I have a freakish memory and can store up things for decades with near total recall. It can be harrowing and great.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #56
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    6,387

    Default

    Like I said, my ENFJ cousin is super intelligent, but reserves those conversations for politics only, for some reason. He is also very insecure and I have to talk him down off many ledges when he is left alone with his thoughts for too long.

    (glad Jeffster stuck it out. and glad you did, too)

  7. #57
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Like I said, my ENFJ cousin is super intelligent, but reserves those conversations for politics only, for some reason. He is also very insecure and I have to talk him down off many ledges when he is left alone with his thoughts for too long.

    (glad Jeffster stuck it out. and glad you did, too)
    This is the thing I have noticed with ENFJs I know. Many of them (including me) seem to go down a dark, dark place if they think about things for too long.

  8. #58
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Like I said, my ENFJ cousin is super intelligent, but reserves those conversations for politics only, for some reason. He is also very insecure and I have to talk him down off many ledges when he is left alone with his thoughts for too long.
    Conversing with anyone who's insecure makes the whole idea of exploration or improvement three-legged and virtually impossible. Frustrating waste of effort on ANY level. I've threatened to tie my ENFJ friend to a tree and leave him when he's going atmospheric. Even *I* know trying to reason with an unreasonable ENFJ can be a Sysiphan endeavor. This is why I spend so much time alone. I *must* have time to offload/sift through the inputs, or I won't be human.

    When I was in robotics, I liked the idea of objects that weren't burdened by feelings, but ultimately, I discovered that even the nerds (forgive the term) were assigning human traits to the robots, naming them, treating them like people. I fell prey to that immediately. When I was passing tedious moments in the lab, I was making up hugely elaborate stories about me and the guys and the robots in my mind. I believe I brought in home made fudge and brownies on a few occasions, just because I knew the guys needed a little lift. (More Fe?...) Eating brownies while coding is better than just coding. *laughs*

    I did similar things with the heavy equipment when I was a mechanic. I remember sympathetically patting a small army of street sweepers that had been inundated in hurricane flood water and needed all their filters and fluids changed just to function. We got very old things through the garage. One 50 or 60 year old engine that I swear was brought up from the Titanic -- it took super-human tenacity to resurrect it. The way it spat and coughed and rattled when it first came to life was truly pathetic. I wound up writing a story in my head about it. The real engines used "personality modules" and other people-trait named units (named by logic-driven engineers!), and that to me just reinforced the knee-jerk imprint of people on everything they touch, as if it were inevitable.

    (glad Jeffster stuck it out. and glad you did, too)
    me too!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #59
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IDK123 View Post
    This is the thing I have noticed with ENFJs I know. Many of them (including me) seem to go down a dark, dark place if they think about things for too long.
    My darkness is remarked on frequently by family and friends. I'm not a grotesque or deviant person, just very dark and stormy.

    Or Fizzgig.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #60
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    But you know, a lot of INTPs (and NTs in general) aren't even aware or conscious of those feelings. We're not hiding them, for the most part. Does this mean that the ENFJ are not even aware or conscious of their thoughts?
    I am feeling Dom and as I said, what "feels" like the logical solution comes from nowhere (Ne-Te?) but if I stop and think on it, then yes I can in my mind lay out the logic track, but doing so in a backtrack like method and I'd really shy away from talking about it, certainly wouldn't engage in it for fun. I do my own mental work that requires Te, a lot of history study and that wipes out my energy for such work, so on a message board I am not likely to do a lot of THINKING.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] Why are ENFJ's afraid to reflect- what are the type of dark thoughts they avoid??
    By ladypinkington in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 08-07-2012, 06:39 PM
  2. [ENFJ] Are ENFJs infamous for dropping off the face of the planet?
    By Glycerine in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 12-18-2009, 07:17 PM
  3. [INTP] Are INTP's really the least sociable archetype?
    By Cypocalypse in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 60
    Last Post: 06-26-2009, 04:19 AM
  4. [MBTItm] Why are all the NFs jealous of the NTs?
    By ThatsWhatHeSaid in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 161
    Last Post: 06-24-2009, 12:19 AM
  5. [NF] Are INFJ the NF geeks ?
    By entropie in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 02-18-2009, 08:18 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO