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  1. #1
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Default ENFJ's: Not Manipulative.

    My type does not manipulate. ENFJ just understands how his actions speak.

    Discuss.
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  2. #2
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I don't find ENFJs to be manipulative. I do find them to be shameless flirts though
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    The ENFJ's I know in person, I've never considered any of them to be manipulative. Quite the opposite in fact. "What would you like to do?" "What about doing___?" "Does __ sound good to you?" etc

  4. #4
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Come to think of it, occasionally they will say something on purpose to get a rise out of someone (er, me), but it's never malicious, just teasing. I suppose they know what buttons to push then....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #5
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Come to think of it, occasionally they will say something on purpose to get a rise out of someone (er, me), but it's never malicious, just teasing. I suppose they know what buttons to push then....
    Exactly. And that's why our form of going after what we want can get confused with manipulation.
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  6. #6
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    You can manipulate. Why don't you?

  7. #7
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    You can manipulate. Why don't you?
    Because we understand how such action would speak lol.

    Personally, it would get in the way of my other goals. Friendship, unity, harmony, etc. Also because it seems trying is by definition trying too hard when it comes to this subject. You don't impose your understanding onto interpersonal communication, instead we understand by observation, reception, perception. I observe interpersonal communication much as I would observe a chemical reaction in a test tube, and I feel that personal interference and intervention pollutes the purity of the process.

    Compare it to how someone involved in a high-stakes interpersonal confrontation, say an ultimatum from a significant other, takes a step back from the situation. Know what I mean?
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    You can manipulate. Why don't you?
    Let me ask the question. You can manipulate, why would you?

  9. #9
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Hmmm...the two ENFJ's I know can be very manipulative. Maybe they don't see it as being manipulative. Or maybe they aren't very mature ENFJ's. Who knows. But let's just say the words "evil puppet master" has been used to describe one of these ENFJ's...and that term was used by the ENFJ's closest friend!

    I've noticed that the two that I know have used others to their own gain. Or have twisted the words of others to start conflicts (possibly) to ingratiate one person closer to the ENFJ.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  10. #10
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    Let me ask the question. You can manipulate, why would you?
    You refer perhaps to the phenomenal interpersonal skills INTJs are famous for?


    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    Personally, it would get in the way of my other goals. Friendship, unity, harmony, etc. Also because it seems trying is by definition trying too hard when it comes to this subject. You don't impose your understanding onto interpersonal communication, instead we understand by observation, reception, perception. I observe interpersonal communication much as I would observe a chemical reaction in a test tube, and I feel that personal interference and intervention pollutes the purity of the process.
    Sounds cool.

    Where does leadership fit into this?


    (I am really trying to not come off all knee-jerky about these questions--genuinely curious.)


    Compare it to how someone involved in a high-stakes interpersonal confrontation, say an ultimatum from a significant other, takes a step back from the situation. Know what I mean?
    Dude, seriously, that'd be like interpersonal communication or something.

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