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  1. #11
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kingfisher View Post
    i understand what you're saying IDK123. in my youth i had certain values instilled in me, and as a reaction to my enviroment i developed patterns of behavior/thinking that are not really who i am. i have only started to overcome some of it in the past few years.

    i was raised in a very emotionally damaged enviroment, growing up i was exposed to a lot of rage and anger and violence, but positive emotions (like love, compassion, understanding) were thought very ill of. emotional kids in my neighborhood had a very hard time of it, so most of us learned to be thick-skinned, and emotional dry-wells.

    having compassionate and caring people around you is key, i think. and cutting off dangerous and detrimental people/places in your life. really cutting them off completely is a good thing, i think. sometimes we develop connections to hurtful and damaging people without being aware of just how detrimental they are. then when we cut them off sometmes we realize what they were doing to us, and become less likely to fall into those types of relationships.
    one of the biggest things is to not only surround yourself with positive people, but also to reach out to them. as i became more comfortable around people i started taking bigger emotional risks, opening up more and exposing vulnerable parts of myself.
    it is a gradual process though.
    Sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing your advice. It really reached me and that was just the type of advice I needed. It just sucks how the past can have such an impact on a person. Thank you again!

  2. #12
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    You just do eventually.

    That you realise that it's conditioning is already the first step towards moving past these behaviours, consciously pushing yourself forward and surrounding yourself with people that encourage new behaviours can also help. It's basically a case of developing a new habit and all that.

    Having said that I know how difficult it can be to try get rid of old habits etc, but if you are willing it won't be a problem in the long run.

  3. #13
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    I have inferior Fe. Luckily, it is rarely active.

  4. #14
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by mortabunt View Post
    I have inferior Fe. Luckily, it is rarely active.
    Thank the heavens because you're blessed.

  5. #15
    Sniffles
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    One step at a time, it's a gradual process. I've literally had to deconstruct and then reconstruct much of what I've been taught about the world as well. It's not an easy task, but it's highly necessary if you wish to maintain sanity and view the world through clearer lenses.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by IDK123 View Post
    Thank the heavens because you're blessed.
    The only problem is that when people expect emotional responses or enthusiasm, I rarely have any. People sometimes doubt that I'm human.

  7. #17
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I know where you're coming from. After my father passed away, I was passed on to live with different family members, and one in particular, totally influenced me in ways that almost 2 decades later, I'm still trying to get over..

    Values instilled at a young age can definitely influence our perspective in life.

    However, growing up in strict environments has its own pluses. It's taught me that not everyone is the same, and just because we don't share everything in common, doesn't mean we're 'bad' people. It's taught me patience.

    I think the best way to know that we're progressing is when we can truly smile, and know that we're being more of our best selves, and somehow life is full/rich with meaning..

    I was taught to look down and say thank you at everything, and to give whatever I had as much as I can.. almost to the point of absurdity. So I know watcha mean..

  8. #18
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    My take on Fe values and growth is speculative at best, but I'll give it a whirl. When I work hard to change damaging feelings towards myself due to worthless values instilled in me while young, I observe the damage they do to my current relationships, which always mean so much to me. That's my greatest motivator to undue learned patterns from a Fe pov, imo, fwiw, atm.

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