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  1. #1
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    Default Introverted Feelers and negative emotions

    My question,

    Do you sometimes expose yourselves to negative emotions simply for the thrill of experiencing the emotion?

    For example, I had a buddy who lost a girlfriend to some other guy a while ago. He was pretty broken up about it and months later after she became engaged to the said fellow he refused to attend the wedding (Despite being invited) because he still was harboring feelings for the girl.

    I put myself in his shoes and wondered what I would do in such a situation. And I came to the conclusion that I would have done everything I could have to attend the wedding. Seeing the girl I was in love with being married to another guy would have been absolutely heart wrenching. Had I attended I would be absolutely miserable the entire time and for weeks following... but at the same time I think I would have enjoyed it! Thats the mystery!

    So that is my question, do you subject yourself to negative emotions simply for the thrill of experiencing the emotion?
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  2. #2
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Hmm, I'll have to think about this one. I'm assuming you aren't talking about just any negative emotions? Like, you don't intentionally hang out with people who hate your guts and make you feel like a fool just for the "thrill" of the negative emotion, right? And you don't don't take a dump in the middle of a crowded street just for the thrill of the humiliation?

  3. #3
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I think most people won't admit to themselves that they are that way.

    Conversely, he may have found more pain in not attending the wedding than accepting that life went that way. So he could have been doing the same thing you were.

    Also kind of strange to invite the jilted ex to the wedding, in my mind.

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    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    my infj hates that band, I just love em. After two six-packs just the right thing

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    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I actually try to avoid negative feelings. If I were put in a situation like that I'd attend the wedding though for the sake of closure. I will experience negative feelings if they lead to positive feelings in the future... so yeah. I think people that do this think it will lead to positive emotions (but may not know that that's why they're doing it). Idk I may be wrong though.
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    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Hmm, I'll have to think about this one. I'm assuming you aren't talking about just any negative emotions? Like, you don't intentionally hang out with people who hate your guts and make you feel like a fool just for the "thrill" of the negative emotion, right? And you don't don't take a dump in the middle of a crowded street just for the thrill of the humiliation?
    Yeah thats a good point, Im not referring to any negative emotions in this case. I try to avoid anger and conflict at all cost.

    Also kind of strange to invite the jilted ex to the wedding, in my mind.
    I agree, they stayed "Good Friends" but it did seem like a kick in the crotch to get an invite.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    There are no positive or negative emotions. Emotions are emotions. They are neither good or bad, they maybe feel good or feel bad but everyone has to feel sad, angry, jealous and hurt at some point in their lives. Your feelings are kind of like whack-the-weasel. There is no point forcing an emotion or driving one away. It will just crop up again later.
    Anger is also a feeling.

  8. #8
    violaine
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    I don't actively cultivate negative emotions for the thrill. But I definitely don't shy away from my more downbeat moods. That seems like pretending to me. And there are a few predetermined days in the year that are going to be down days for me when I really can't stand having anyone around and I want to just explore and feel intensely. I do that so I can feel connected to the people who inspire those feelings and so I can clear the feeling and not be a perpetual black cloud.

    I hate pity though and I don't like feeling vulnerable or even having to consider another person when I am very sad so privacy is vital. I would never attend a wedding knowing that I was going to be upset or be pitied. If I really wanted to scar my heart over someone in that situation (and I could be bothered) I would probably watch them leaving the church from afar, just to burn it into my mind for closure. More likely I would have a minute to myself in whatever I was doing when I knew they were getting married. Then done.

    So I think while I try not to identify too strongly with negative feelings, I will dwell at times but I need and will arrange for privacy to go deeply into any troubling feelings.

    EDIT: It was a different story when I was 14-18 though. I thought sadness was beautiful and regularly took time to ponder subjects that I found melancholic. I will always have a taste for melancholy.

  9. #9
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    I don't actively cultivate negative emotions for the thrill. But I definitely don't shy away from my more downbeat moods. That seems like pretending to me. And there are a few predetermined days in the year that are going to be down days for me when I really can't stand having anyone around and I want to just explore and feel intensely. I do that so I can feel connected to the people who inspire those feelings and so I can clear the feeling and not be a perpetual black cloud.

    I hate pity though and I don't like feeling vulnerable or even having to consider another person when I am very sad so privacy is vital. I would never attend a wedding knowing that I was going to be upset or be pitied. If I really wanted to scar my heart over someone in that situation (and I could be bothered) I would probably watch them leaving the church from afar, just to burn it into my mind for closure. More likely I would have a minute to myself in whatever I was doing when I knew they were getting married. Then done.
    Sanveane, saving lazy Lauren from having to write substantial responses since 2008.

  10. #10
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    Some people are just more sensitive than others. I don't think that there are many people who subject themselves to experiencing a negative emotion for the thrill of it, though I won't deny the existence of a small percentage of people who do it on purpose, and I'm not sure that would be related to type.

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