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  1. #1
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Default Fe Development Thread

    OK, so y'all should be salivating at this opportunity...

    It's recently come to my attention that my Fe skills are in need of further development. After resistance at first, I realized that the people who told me this (particularly an ENFP friend of mine - strange how similar and different we are) were entirely correct about it. Needless to say, I could use some help on this.

    That's where you all come in. Rules are as follows:

    1. Respond however you like
    2. I'll respond to the best of my ability, taking care not to stomp on emotions, or say anything approaching "well you're wrong" or "no, that's not true"
    3. Rinse, and repeat

    You'll be happy to know that I'll most likely be squirming as I rope in my first inclinations, working toward a better means of engaging the world.

    P.S. - yes, I'm just as prone to forgetting about things as any other ENTP. Don't hesitate to abuse the PM function if I seem to be AWOL.


  2. #2
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    Fe is better developed in real-world practice. Typing is easier since it's easier to think first. In reality, it's all too easy to just -react- and then regret it.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  3. #3
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    Fe is better developed in real-world practice. Typing is easier since it's easier to think first. In reality, it's all too easy to just -react- and then regret it.
    I wholly agree with what you're saying, but I also think that any practice helps. Appreciate the reply.

  4. #4
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I don't know if you can just be taught Fe. People act like it's just social roles and obligation but it genuinely does not feel like that to me.

    To me it's an active scan of the emotional atmosphere ranging from my home to the subway car on Monday morning morning commute to being in a crowd of people and letting the energy of the crowd wash over me. It's not sending birthday cards or saying please or anything like that to me. Those can be manifestations of Fe, but the map is not the terrain (thanks Bamboo!). I don't know how to show someone how to feel Fe because I guess you either feel it or you don't.

    If you want to feel Fe maybe you can go somewhere where emotions are running very high and try to decipher what people are feeling based on their facial expressions or body language and try to get yourself in that mode based on how everyone around you is feeling. In a bad environment this can be quite toxic so choose carefully. The point is to be attuned and part of the emotional currents around you.

    On a more personal mode let yourself be a conduit of emotion. I saw this show on TV a few months ago where people were confronting people who had hurt them terribly in the past, I mean stuff like being abused, given up for adoption, parents leaving them, someone killing a loved one all types of horrible stuff. I watched it and nearly cried at some of these stories of forgiveness and I felt the emotion pressing in my chest. I don't try to stop it or anything just feel it without restraint. I suppose that could be a Fe experience? Letting yourself be moved emotionally without hindrance.

    ETA: The main thing is emotional receptiveness, responsiveness, and a move towards action.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  5. #5
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    +1

    Fe seems to be a combination of understanding people in a... reactive? sort of way. ENTPs seem to use Ne to spot what could be behind the many little things people do and Ti to construct it. Fe, for ENTPs, doesn't seem to be a function that runs on its own, but adds a level of philanthropy to the other two functions.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  6. #6
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I don't know if you can just be taught Fe. People act like it's just social roles and obligation but it genuinely does not feel like that to me.

    To me it's an active scan of the emotional atmosphere ranging from my home to the subway car on Monday morning morning commute to being in a crowd of people and letting the energy of the crowd wash over me. It's not sending birthday cards or saying please or anything like that to me. Those can be manifestations of Fe, but the map is not the terrain (thanks Bamboo!). I don't know how to show someone how to feel Fe because I guess you either feel it or you don't.

    If you want to feel Fe maybe you can go somewhere where emotions are running very high and try to decipher what people are feeling based on their facial expressions or body language and try to get yourself in that mode based on how everyone around you is feeling. In a bad environment this can be quite toxic so choose carefully. The point is to be attuned and part of the emotional currents around you.

    On a more personal mode let yourself be a conduit of emotion. I saw this show on TV a few months ago where people were confronting people who had hurt them terribly in the past, I mean stuff like being abused, given up for adoption, parents leaving them, someone killing a loved one all types of horrible stuff. I watched it and nearly cried at some of these stories of forgiveness and I felt the emotion pressing in my chest. I don't try to stop it or anything just feel it without restraint. I suppose that could be a Fe experience? Letting yourself be moved emotionally without hindrance.

    ETA: The main thing is emotional receptiveness, responsiveness, and a move towards action.
    Nice viewpoint, thanks for sharing. I will say this - there are movies that do move me that way, and it's usually about a relationship I can relate to. For example, Old Yeller - nothing, because I never had a dog. Field of Dreams - damn, that cracks me up every time, having a somewhat distant father.

  7. #7
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    +1

    Fe seems to be a combination of understanding people in a... reactive? sort of way. ENTPs seem to use Ne to spot what could be behind the many little things people do and Ti to construct it. Fe, for ENTPs, doesn't seem to be a function that runs on its own, but adds a level of philanthropy to the other two functions.
    I would agree with that - though I do think it starts to manifest itself in a more prominent way over time. Attuning oneself to others' emotional states becomes a more logical way of looking at the human world, in another sense.

    It also helps determine between what are necessary arguments, and those that would result in pyrrhic victories if you won.

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