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  1. #1
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    Unhappy INFJs, I need some input

    INFJs, I've hurt (emotionally) and upset my INFJ woman. I just need some input on how you deal with people who have done anything similar to you.

    Thanks in advance,

    Undeadtom

  2. #2
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undeadtom View Post
    INFJs, I've hurt (emotionally) and upset my INFJ woman. I just need some input on how you deal with people who have done anything similar to you.
    Napalm!

    Just kidding. But what's the rest of the story? How did you make her upset?

  3. #3
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Say you are sorry, then try to bribe her with ice cream. Better yet, bake her a cake.

  4. #4
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    If it was my INFJ mom, well saying sorry and leaving her alone for awhile. She usually comes around when she is ready or explain to her your perspective; although, when I have done that it seemed to upset her more.

    Ice cream with cake
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

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  5. #5
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Say you are sorry, then try to bribe her with ice cream. Better yet, bake her a cake.
    Even better than that -- ice cream cake. No INFJ can stay upset with their tummy full of ice cream cake.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Even better than that -- ice cream cake. No INFJ can stay upset with their tummy full of ice cream cake.
    OMG I HEART ICE CREAM CAKE! HOW DID YOU KNOW?... Oh yeah. Nevermind.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  7. #7
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Even better than that -- ice cream cake. No INFJ can stay upset with their tummy full of ice cream cake.
    Oh wow. I would feel almost guilty pulling out such an effective bribe, though. I mean, surely I wouldn't want to impose on her free will, would I?

    Would I?

    Oh, screw it. Thanks for the info!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Napalm!

    Just kidding. But what's the rest of the story? How did you make her upset?
    It's a long story...

    I was going to take her to my cousin's wedding reception, show her off, be proud of her (she likes that sort of stuff). I ended up angering myself (mistakes that were entirely my fault, that got me heated for some reason) and when I'm angry I shut myself off from people. So we had a 5 minute car ride to my house, she tried to get some lighthearted conversation going, I was stone.

    When I tried to talk to her at my house, she had shut herself up. On the way to the reception I was playing some Thrash metal (She hates the stuff, but I love it and find it to be a great way to get my aggression out). No conversation for the majority of the car ride. 10 minutes before we get there, the album starts repeating, so I cut it off and start trying to talk.

    We pull in to the place and she starts crying (later telling me it was at not being able to escape the horrible situation about to occur). I try to talk to her a little bit before we make it near my relatives. No dice. So now we're both depressed. Now I'm definitely not Mr. People-person that I usually am.

    My mother has me introduce her, I walk her to the front of the table and say "This is rachel" and walk 5 feet and sit in a chair. She was left up there with my mother. She also seemed upset that I didn't talk to anyone other than my mom, my other cousin (not the married one), my uncle, my father, and her. Fair enough.

    Right before the cake, as they were cutting it, we got into a small argument about moses in art (the bit about the mistranslation so some representations of him have horns). I got real pissed off because she basically told me point blank that I was wrong about something I know (I even went back and checked, just in case I was some uneducated asshole).

    Forward to the Wednesday after... I ask her to walk so we can talk about that Saturday's events. So I can try to correct them. Things went well, I thought, we even ended up making out a little in her driveway as we stargazed.

    Then Friday we go bike riding, have a good time. I made one mistake in conversation that upset her a bit, but that was quickly fixed after we had a discussion. So here I figured that I understood how to act when we need to problem solve.

    WRONG!

    Sunday, I wanted to go to her church with her to spend more time with her, even though I'm not religious, and have a bit of a disgust for modern christianity. Terrible idea. She's more interested in God, and I should have expected that. But even when we weren't in church, the car ride before, the pizza shop afterwards, I just don't feel the connection to her. Somehow I was able to speak my mind about that to her on the ride home. When we got there, we went a walking to keep the conversation going.

    We talked and talked and she seemed more upset by wednesday and friday, because on both those days I didn't seem affected by the event. By the end of the night I was in tears(clearly I was affected). But before she left, she said something which basically meant that this wasn't over. It might just be a waiting game.

    There were also lots of excuses provided by me along the way, which did nothing but make things worse.

    Now she's very distant, which is killing me. I believe that this is the most depressed I've felt, considering my appetite dropped from 3 large meals with 2 small snacks a day to one medium sized meal a day.
    ______________

    What do you guys think of what I'm doing so far?

    I'm planning on buying her a deep red rose, which symbolizes my shame, and a daisy, because they are her favorite (which is cool, because they symbolize purity and innocence, and her name "rachel" means the same).

    I'm going to wake her up to those, then make her breakfast. Sitting in the middle of the table will be this old brass Peacock etched vase, with daisies in it, that have been crafted out of construction paper, wooden skewers, and pipe-cleaners.

    Then I'm going to leave, and come back at night to take her out for dinner. Then watch "What dreams may come" afterwards. I haven't seen it, but a good friend recommended that we watch it because it's romantic. I've been wanting to watch that with her for a while now, but shit happens... unfortunately.

  9. #9
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Even better than that -- ice cream cake. No INFJ can stay upset with their tummy full of ice cream cake.
    ZOMFG!! I must be an INFJ. Just hold on a second while I change my type.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  10. #10
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undeadtom View Post
    What do you guys think of what I'm doing so far?
    Uhhh...I'm still trying to figure out why she is upset in the first place. I can understand her being a little hurt that you gave her the silent treatment in the car, but the rest seems a bit trivial. And the crying is a little...melodramatic? I don't want to be rude, but why is there so much crying going on? What am I missing here? There has to be more to this.

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