User Tag List

First 789101119 Last

Results 81 to 90 of 236

  1. #81
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    8,828

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    It's a different world and a different kind of relation. We have more freedom here and less responsibility.
    Indeed.

    I have to say, though. I'm sad that so many of you have those kind of expectations in the real world.

    You and Lauren Ashley just sound like the worst kind of Sensors to me. It's that... heaviness. It's all about getting real, pitching in, doing things, pushing hard, or getting discounted. No room for fun, words, or a dream-oriented perspective in that definition of friendship.

    For people in the real world, friendship is all about things and actions, and practicality. Not about feelings at all. It's honestly so harsh and disgusting that I'm beginning to think friends aren't worth having in reality.

    I guess there are no Sensors, after all. This is just how people become when physical reality gets involved and makes them into hard, disgusting creatures that don't tolerate much deviation.

  2. #82
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    7,004

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    You and Lauren Ashley just sound like the worst kind of Sensors to me. It's that... heaviness. It's all about getting real, pitching in, doing things, pushing hard, or getting discounted. No room for fun, words, or a dream-oriented perspective in that definition of friendship.
    Don't start on sensors. You'll sound silly. This isn't true of them.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #83
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Indeed.

    I have to say, though. I'm sad that so many of you have those kind of expectations in the real world.

    You and Lauren Ashley just sound like the worst kind of Sensors to me. It's that... heaviness. It's all about getting real, pitching in, doing things, pushing hard, or getting discounted. No room for fun, words, or a dream-oriented perspective in that definition of friendship.

    For people in the real world, friendship is all about things and actions, and practicality. Not about feelings at all. It's honestly so harsh and disgusting that I'm beginning to think friends aren't worth having in reality.


    I guess there are no Sensors, after all. This is just how people become when physical reality gets involved and makes people disgusting.

    I don't necessarily expect it from others but there's a select few persons whom I always get it from though. And I expect myself to give it back to those who have been true friends to me. I want to do it for those I care about it, if they need it. What's so awful about that?

    Most of the time me and my friends have fun but life is not always fun and one has to learn how to cram fun into even the darkest moments of life, like when your friend has broken their foot and when they feel up to it, you go over there and make a party out of a few hours of their misery. What's so awful about that?

  4. #84
    Senior Member rainoneventide's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    365

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Ever really been sick or disabled and had a friend who really went the distance to keep you company or give you help you didn't even ask for but really, really, really needed? Has nothing to do with get well cards and shallow gestures. But there has to be a designation for the friend who stands by and helps and the friend who is so afraid to even hear about someone else feeling sick they can't even call you. So hence my term true friend.

    But you see, my friend (an Fi dom) had been disabled in a body cast years before I knew her for a time, so she understood about all vulnerability and weakness and need. It's all about what you've been through and where you've been and how you look at life.
    Yeah, if your friend genuinely sets aside their time to care for you, especially when they know what you're going through, then that's really, really great. I don't like the assumption that all friends are required to be like that in order to be a "true" friend, though. I mean, it would suck if they didn't come and help with whatever, but I'm not about to disown them because they're already my friend, I know their personality; they don't have to prove to me that they care. In those previous posts, it looked as if some thought that bringing ice cream or whatever is the "right" way to be a friend, which is why I got super pissed and wrote that post, but I guess I was mistaken.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Right. An interesting person is an acquaintance, not a friend.

    If anyone thinks a friend is just someone to lay out in the sun and chew bubblegum with, I don't want to say this in a harsh way, but get real.
    Yeah, shame on them, believing that those are friends.
    ...
    "So I say, live and let live. Thatís my motto. Live and let live.
    Anyone who canít go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker."
    - George Carlin

  5. #85
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,364

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Gladly. The thought is that the person is pushing their own needs on you, with the expectation that you will accomodate them. They feel they are entitled to have their needs met. Not only that, but they are impinging on your freedom to your own thoughts and decisions; basic rights as an individual.

    Example: "I need you to buy me candies and flowers on Valentine's Day. And call me after work every day to make sure I am okay. And..." To you, would this just amount to being clear about needs/expectations? Or is it going a bit beyond that?
    Thanks for the explanation. I guess the issue here is whether or not to make someone feel impinged upon. The expectation to do these things (e.g., get candies on special occasions, call after work, pick them up dinner every so often) will exist whether the person states them directly or not, but if they don't say them directly, then it seems like they aren't impinging upon anyone. But the truth is that they still have those expectations, and will still have bad reactions when they are not met. So why not tell them outright instead of being sly about it, putting yourself on shaky footing when you eventually get angry (because the "if you don't tell me, then how can I be expected to know" defense is hard to get around)?
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  6. #86
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    8,828

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Don't start on sensors. You'll sound silly. This isn't true of them.
    I wasn't talking about Sensors, like the people we see here on the board with an S in their type. I'm talking about... Sensors. There's a difference. I'm talking about the ideas we used to have about how Sensors were. It turns out, on reflection, that most of them were actually an expression of what we don't like about how the physical world itself affects people, and what kind of expectations it instills in them. We associated Sensing with all the negative things we could think of that came from worldviews rooted in tangible reality. Including things like judging people by their appearance.

    It embodies an idea that can't quite be expressed in any other way.

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I don't necessarily expect it from others but there's a select few persons whom I always get it from though. And I expect myself to give it back to those who have been true friends to me. I want to do it for those I care about it, if they need it. What's so awful about that?
    Well... that's not awful. If someone does it for you, and you appreciate it, you should do it for them (if they would appreciate it). That's different, I was thinking more about someone just expecting it out of the blue.
    Most of the time me and my friends have fun but life is not always fun and one has to learn how to cram fun into even the darkest moments of life, like when your friend has broken their foot and when they feel up to it, you go over there and make a party out of a few hours of their misery. What's so awful about that?
    Well... it's not, I guess. Except that in my case, I'm extremely melancholic and I tend to make people feel worse. I'd probably end up crying and telling them how sorry I felt for them, and they'd have to reassure me that they were going to be okay.

  7. #87
    Senior Member rainoneventide's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    365

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Indeed.

    I have to say, though. I'm sad that so many of you have those kind of expectations in the real world.

    You and Lauren Ashley just sound like the worst kind of Sensors to me. It's that... heaviness. It's all about getting real, pitching in, doing things, pushing hard, or getting discounted. No room for fun, words, or a dream-oriented perspective in that definition of friendship.

    For people in the real world, friendship is all about things and actions, and practicality. Not about feelings at all. It's honestly so harsh and disgusting that I'm beginning to think friends aren't worth having in reality.

    I guess there are no Sensors, after all. This is just how people become when physical reality gets involved and makes them into hard, disgusting creatures that don't tolerate much deviation.
    That's what I've been thinking, but this is much more articulate, lol.
    "So I say, live and let live. Thatís my motto. Live and let live.
    Anyone who canít go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker."
    - George Carlin

  8. #88
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rainoneventide View Post
    Yeah, if your friend genuinely sets aside their time to care for you, especially when they know what you're going through, then that's really, really great. I don't like the assumption that all friends are required to be like that in order to be a "true" friend, though. I mean, it would suck if they didn't come and help with whatever, but I'm not about to disown them because they're already my friend, I know their personality; they don't have to prove to me that they care. In those previous posts, it looked as if some thought that bringing ice cream or whatever is the "right" way to be a friend, which is why I got super pissed and wrote that post, but I guess I was mistaken.


    Yeah, shame on them, believing that those are friends.
    ...

    If a friend knows a friend is sick or injured and they don't even call to inquire what's going on, then it's a time to question how much of a friend that friend is. Use your N to read between the lines of what is said, of course they don't have to bring ice cream, it was just an example--- good grief I am not being that literal. But it is good to try and find out what a friend wants/needs or does not want or need and try to help. Sure, we wouldn't do this much for just anyone, but for our friends I can't see why one would not want to do this just naturally.

    Edit: Even Hornblower brought Bush a pineapple when he was injured and in the hospital and Hornblower was like totally emotionally clueless.

  9. #89
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    8,828

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    If a friend knows a friend is sick or injured and they don't even call to inquire what's going on
    Well, now, of course you would CALL them periodically to ask if they were okay. I was talking about the expectation for them to be present in the room with you, or to offer service rather than just telling them you hope they get well. It sounds like we all jumped to conclusions here... thought we were clear when we weren't. I know I did, anyway.

  10. #90
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Well, now, of course you would CALL them periodically to ask if they were okay. I was talking about the expectation for them to be present in the room with you. It sounds like we all jumped to conclusions here... thought we were clear when we weren't. I know I did, anyway.
    Why would I suggest going to see someone without calling them first?

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] INFJ and Fi, do you relate to this?
    By infiniterandomness11 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-08-2014, 09:01 PM
  2. [E8] Are 8 and Fi similar?
    By Elfboy in forum Enneatypes
    Replies: 117
    Last Post: 06-24-2014, 02:42 PM
  3. [Fi] Fi and guilt/manipulation
    By sculpting in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-05-2010, 08:05 AM
  4. [Fi] Fi and long term repercussions
    By Moiety in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-20-2010, 03:01 PM
  5. [Fi] Fi and talk therapy.
    By Tiny Army in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-16-2009, 11:33 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO