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  1. #61
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Yeah. Was just adding to the point that you Fe users need to realize that Fi users will have a subjective view on how they should treat someone.
    I think that some do. After all, Fe is attuned, at least in theory, to others' wishes. But I think because of all this "flexing" to the desires of others, after a while they begin to think that it is high time that they let their own views be known. I doubt it is about trying to put the person into society's box of what's right and wrong, but to let the person know their particular view on things.

  2. #62
    heart on fire
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    When people go in the hospital or nursing homes, I hate to break this news, but they still need their allies in the outside world to help them with things, to be there and fight for them when needed as well. They need an advocate and they need someone to bring them mango ice cream and sneak it past the nurses desk when things get really desperate.

    Originally Posted by BlackCat
    Yeah. Was just adding to the point that you Fe users need to realize that Fi users will have a subjective view on how they should treat someone.
    But as an Fi user matures, they should be able to use either Ne or Se to gain greater perspective on other people as well. It's a give and take.

  3. #63
    Senior Member rainoneventide's Avatar
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    I don't want a friend who's doing all this shit for me just so they can be a "true friend". If I'm in a hospital and you don't want to come visit me, then don't visit me. Don't come because you feel obligated; that's insulting.

    I make friends because they're interesting people that I want to be around, not because they're people who fit a "true friend" criteria. I don't base a friend's worth on shallow, insubstantial things like get well cards and flowers. Ugh. Ew. Ugh. Seriously, people.
    "So I say, live and let live. Thatís my motto. Live and let live.
    Anyone who canít go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker."
    - George Carlin

  4. #64
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I think this person is lost in her own little Fi world. In Fi land, you stay connected to people through your imagination & can forget to contact them in reality. 6 months can feel like a few weeks in a relationship to me. It's hard for me to maintain friendships, even though I manage to stay emotionally connected to people despite lapses in contact.

    Communication is key with an INFP. YES, we need to be hit over the head & told directly what you want. NO, we do not automatically know what we are supposed to do socially. I always feel like there was a day in school I missed, and that was the day everyone else was taught the social graces but me . Thank goodness for my ISFJ mom who taught me about writing thank you cards & that sort of thing.

    Quite honestly, I would not visit a sick friend, but I would probably email/call to see how they are doing. I would only visit if that friend expressly asked me to do so. Otherwise, I would feel like I was intruding. I can't say I would want to be bothered with visitors if I was laid up with a broken leg, and I tend to cast my feelings onto others.

    Another thing, when I am not in the mood to socialize, I feel I am doing people a favor by staying away. I am just grouchy & moody & not good company, so I don't like to burden people with my presence. I don't see that as selfish....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #65
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I think that some do. After all, Fe is attuned, at least in theory, to others' wishes. But I think because of all this "flexing" to the desires of others, after a while they begin to think that it is high time that they let their own views be known. I doubt it is about trying to put the person into society's box of what's right and wrong, but to let the person know their particular view on things.
    Yeah. Fi and Fe are the same process, but sort of backwards of each other I've noticed. It's the same way with the other functions too.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #66
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainoneventide View Post
    I don't want a friend who's doing all this shit for me just so they can be a "true friend". If I'm in a hospital and you don't want to come visit me, then don't visit me. Don't come because you feel obligated; that's insulting.

    I make friends because they're interesting people that I want to be around, not because they're people who fit a "true friend" criteria. I don't base a friend's worth on shallow, insubstantial things like get well cards and flowers. Ugh. Ew. Ugh. Seriously, people.
    I like your post.
    I'm very similar in this way.

  7. #67
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainoneventide View Post
    I make friends because they're interesting people that I want to be around, not because they're people who fit a "true friend" criteria. I don't base a friend's worth on shallow, insubstantial things like get well cards and flowers. Ugh. Ew. Ugh. Seriously, people.
    Neither does anyone else in this thread...

  8. #68
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainoneventide View Post
    I don't want a friend who's doing all this shit for me just so they can be a "true friend". If I'm in a hospital and you don't want to come visit me, then don't visit me. Don't come because you feel obligated; that's insulting.

    I make friends because they're interesting people that I want to be around, not because they're people who fit a "true friend" criteria. I don't base a friend's worth on shallow, insubstantial things like get well cards and flowers. Ugh. Ew. Ugh. Seriously, people.
    Ever really been sick or disabled and had a friend who really went the distance to keep you company or give you help you didn't even ask for but really, really, really needed? Has nothing to do with get well cards and shallow gestures. But there has to be a designation for the friend who stands by and helps and the friend who is so afraid to even hear about someone else feeling sick they can't even call you. So hence my term true friend.

    But you see, my friend (an Fi dom) had been disabled in a body cast years before I knew her for a time, so she understood about all vulnerability and weakness and need. It's all about what you've been through and where you've been and how you look at life.

  9. #69
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    I like your post.
    I'm very similar in this way.
    I would like to correct my statement after reading hearts previous post.

    If somebody would really bother and come to see me at hospital if I were sick, and I would feel they did it because they wanted to not because they felt obligation to do it, then I would really really really be happy about it and I would feel very much loved by this person. But i need the feeling of that person being genuine and them really wanting to do it. Otherwise, it's thanks, but no thanks.

  10. #70
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Ever really been sick or disabled and had a friend who really went the distance to keep you company or give you help you didn't even ask for but really, really, really needed? Has nothing to do with get well cards and shallow gestures. But there has to be a designation for the friend who stands by and helps and the friend who is so afraid to even hear about someone else feeling sick they can't even call you. So hence my term true friend.
    Right. An interesting person is an acquaintance, not a friend.

    If anyone thinks a friend is just someone to lay out in the sun and chew bubblegum with, I don't want to say this in a harsh way, but get real.

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