User Tag List

First 111920212223 Last

Results 201 to 210 of 236

  1. #201
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    1,458

    Default

    I probably shouldn't be here (I have NT cooties), but this seems to just be a philosophical difference.


    Friendships that don't involve sacrifice, cooperation, caring, equality, and exchange aren't worth having, for me. Although I can understand the Fi point of view, I simply don't share it.

  2. #202
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    ^ People, shake your heads. This is NOT about Fi.

    You can only take MBTI so far! You can't extrapolate to this extent!

  3. #203
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    157

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    I have an INFP friend and though I really like her as a person she is quite a bad friend for the simple reason that she is very selfish. I am wondering if that is related to her having Fi as a dominant function and her using it in an unhealthy way.

    I'll try to put her behaviour into words. My friend often goes by how she feels about things on the inside, for example if she feels like she needs to be around people she will be happy to spend time with you, if she wants her own space she will make it clear to you and not spend time with you even if you as a friend might need her company. I in contrast would spend time with a friend in need whatever my mood is simply because this person is my friend and I believe in sometimes sacrificing your own needs for someone else. My friend doesn't seem to get the concept of sacrifice at all, her own wellbeing and "inner feeling compass" determine how she acts, other people's feelings don't really become part of the equation.

    She also doesn't seem to get simple rules of friendship that are to me clear as day. For example I broke my foot last year and had to spend a lot of time at home and though I told her about my accident via email pretty soon and she lived just twenty minutes walk from my flat it didn't occur to her at all to pay me a visit during these weeks. I know that if my good friend had an accident and was homebound I would be over there in a flash to cheer her up. And I think it's much to easy to blame it on me being an extroverted feeler and her being an introverted feeler, I do think a lot of IxFPs would visit a sick person too, is her use of Fi just very unhealthy? (And no, her behaviour has nothing to do with her not liking me or trying to avoid me, the simple self-sacrificial rules of friendship just don't seem to occur to her.) She is also the kind of person that I wouldn't ask for help if I really needed it because I would be too scared that she "just wouldn't feel like helping me", hiding that sentiment rather badly underneath a thin coat of superficial empathy to quieten her conscience.

    Any thoughts on that? (And if anyone wonders (since I am an INFJ) I haven't doorslammed her yet (she probably wouldn't even notice since I haven't heard from her since I moved away from my home country seven months ago and I am just tired of always making the first step), she used to be one of my best friends at high school so I am more cautious about just cutting every contact completely off but she is working her way straight into the "I just couldn't be arsed to spend any more time and effort on you, you are invisible to me." INFJ zone)
    She doesn't sound very INFJ to me. She also doesn't seem that in to you as a friend.

  4. #204
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlahBlahNounBlah View Post
    I probably shouldn't be here (I have NT cooties), but this seems to just be a philosophical difference.


    Friendships that don't involve sacrifice, cooperation, caring, equality, and exchange aren't worth having, for me. Although I can understand the Fi point of view, I simply don't share it.
    That's exactly what I meant to say, except you were succinct and did it better.

    Peacebaby, I didn't see your hugs until after I'd posted. I know I sound big and bold but I was actually shaking a little bit after I'd finished ranting and I did appreciate the support, 'cause I was expecting to get slammed.


  5. #205
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    ^ more for you

    Every NF thread must devolve to , that's the rule!

  6. #206
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    I'm wit dat.

  7. #207
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    I admire you for posting your feelings on the issue; you have a lot of passion and it comes through online.

    IRL, there are plenty of nice people, but we're all unique and very few are mind-readers, so when you need something, ask. And I've learned that even though some friendships ebb and flow over time, the friendship is always there with those certain special people, even if you don't hear from them for a while. All these threads, these connections, can be maintained with even the lightest touch. It's not always about doing, it's about being too.

    These friendships are always special because they were always special.

  8. #208
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INfp
    Enneagram
    9w1 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INFp None
    Posts
    5,295

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlahBlahNounBlah View Post
    Friendships that don't involve sacrifice, cooperation, caring, equality, and exchange aren't worth having, for me. Although I can understand the Fi point of view, I simply don't share it.
    I'm an Fi user, and I don't share that point of view, either. Of course friendships require those things.

    Why must this point be continuously overlooked?

  9. #209
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    7,004

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I'm an Fi user, and I don't share that point of view, either. Of course friendships require those things.

    Why must this point be continuously overlooked?
    People want to point the finger. "Fe is awesome! It's about making other people feel welcome and provided for! Fi is just self centered! I'm awesome!"

    I'm an Fi user too and don't share that point of view either.

    No I wasn't directing that statement toward anyone in particular.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #210
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    EN?P
    Enneagram
    7
    Posts
    679

    Default

    All I'm saying is that if those are what your standards of friendship are then your friend needs to know this in advance. For me friends are people who don't demand or expect things of you. They want to share experiences and information with you, be that personal information (their relationship problems) or ANY information (defragmenting hard drives, building pillow forts and theories about the space-time continuum). I don't remember my own birthday half the time and really don't expect other people to. I cook for people all the time but not because they brought me gifts or for any reason other than they were my friend and I wanted to cook for them. I also do not expect anything in return for the cooking because I don't believe that cooking for someone automatically means they owe you food, nor will I cook for someone if they turn up at my house sans ingredients and demanding food.

    If a friend I haven't heard from in six years tells me she's going to be in town I don't refuse because she didn't respond to my e-mails way back when. I do not know the circumstances that may have resulted in those many ignored e-mails and will never assume it is because the other person doesn't care. If a friend hasn't returned more than three phone calls I wait for them to call me because they surely have their reasons and I trust that they will tell me those the next time I hear from them, whenever they may be.

    What I'm saying is I don't see how your standard is any better or more desirable than mine and I think it's a good illustration of the differences between our types.
    Anger is also a feeling.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] INFJ and Fi, do you relate to this?
    By infiniterandomness11 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-08-2014, 09:01 PM
  2. [E8] Are 8 and Fi similar?
    By Elfboy in forum Enneatypes
    Replies: 117
    Last Post: 06-24-2014, 02:42 PM
  3. [Fi] Fi and guilt/manipulation
    By sculpting in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-05-2010, 08:05 AM
  4. [Fi] Fi and long term repercussions
    By Moiety in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-20-2010, 03:01 PM
  5. [Fi] Fi and talk therapy.
    By Tiny Army in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-16-2009, 11:33 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO