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  1. #151
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Friendship is totally a stock! Its not about intellectual communion at all, just cold hard time clocked in! I know my friendship totally has an hourly rate!

    Buy shares in Apple and get an INTP BFF free!
    Anger is also a feeling.

  2. #152
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Friendship is totally a stock! Its not about intellectual communion at all, just cold hard time clocked in! I know my friendship totally has an hourly rate!

    Buy shares in Apple and get an INTP BFF free!
    :rolli:

  3. #153
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Friendship is totally a stock! Its not about intellectual communion at all, just cold hard time clocked in! I know my friendship totally has an hourly rate!
    People coming over uninvited and taking food from your fridge don't respect boundaries. Those people are jerks and leeches, and you are better off without them. Most healthy, decent Fe people would be horrified at the sheer rudeness and breech of protocol.

    It's unfortunate that your primary example of Fe is from a horribly unhealthy user. It has skewed your expectations to the point where you consider unacceptable behavior to be exemplary for Fe, instead of an exception that should be avoided.

  4. #154
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    LOL, considering the title of this thread, that's an ironic statement to make. And no, this is not a jab, I'm just amused.
    I think it all comes down again to different approaches to friendship and communication styles and if you live in a small or a big town.

    As a general rule I wouldn't like someone just to come over unannounced (which doesn't happen in London anyway, everyone just lives too far away and is far too busy, so the person you are visiting will most likely not be at home anyway), text me and see if I am free and I will be happy to spend time with you. That's just the way things work here.

    What I was talking about in my initial post was not communication styles anyway, it was about a friend just being plain selfish and self-absorbed, if it would have been her style to keep a friendship going by dropping in unannounced I am sure we could have found a middle ground but if the other person doesn't invest anything at all in the friendship how is it supposed to survive?


    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Friendship is totally a stock! Its not about intellectual communion at all, just cold hard time clocked in! I know my friendship totally has an hourly rate!

    Buy shares in Apple and get an INTP BFF free!
    You remind me of these dads who leave their families because this whole thing is just no fun anymore, they actually have to commit and go beyond a "Me, me, me!" attitude. Grow up.

  5. #155
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    the couple of INFJs I have known have been very private and careful about personal space and boundaries. They HATE people coming over unannounced. They use Fe differently from an Fe dom. If you are part of thier selected family then will offer advice and consultation. They seem to do it carefully and selectedly and be very good at recognizing my boundaries while simulataneously calling me on my shit.

    I dunno, just what I have seen. Nothing like the dom Fes or the tert Fes.

  6. #156
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Yeah Amargith pretty much summed up my approach to relationships. It involves giving everyone a lot of space to breathe because one of the things I want out of a relationship, any relationship, is to be able to leave whenever I damn well please.

    I have had so many Fe using friends (No, not one. This is a repeat incident.) who would just turn up at my house unannounced as if this was totally okay because we're friends who lived in the same neighbourhood. Even after I told them I was uncomfortable with it and added that they should simply call first if they were coming over. This didn't work either. They would call and when I would fail to answer (could be something as simple as I was walking the dog and left me phone at home) they would come over anyway!

    They always seemed to see this as an indication of how strong they thought our friendship was but I really resented being intruded upon so often and with such little care about MY feelings regarding the whole thing. I was then accused of being selfish when I stopped answering their phone calls just because I did NOT want to see them every day, all the time.
    Not sure if this is Fe... I have an ENFP friend who does shit like that constantly. I would never dream of stopping by unannounced.

  7. #157
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    People coming over uninvited and taking food from your fridge don't respect boundaries. Those people are jerks and leeches, and you are better off without them. Most healthy, decent Fe people would be horrified at the sheer rudeness and breech of protocol.

    It's unfortunate that your primary example of Fe is from a horribly unhealthy user. It has skewed your expectations to the point where you consider unacceptable behavior to be exemplary for Fe, instead of an exception that should be avoided.
    Lately I've grown tired of stating the obvious. But, yes.

  8. #158
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post

    You remind me of these dads who leave their families because this whole thing is just no fun anymore, they actually have to commit and go beyond a "Me, me, me!" attitude. Grow up.
    Did the mom poke holes in the condoms? Skip her birth control on purpose? Refused to get an abortion despite financial concerns? Leaving your family because "it's no fun anymore" =/= having a family dropped in your lap without your consent. If someone leaves a baby in a basket on your doorstep do you now HAVE to take care of it? Is calling social services a "Me, me, me!" attitude? You are repeatedly failing to recognise that these community standards of friendship mean squat. Friendship is a personal thing to me. It is a sharing of ideas and a mutual respect for one another's boundaries. Breaking down those boundaries isn't intimacy to me. It is invasion.

    Observe all the factors involved before making an irrelevant analogy. Oh wait! You can't do that as soon as you're presented with a new situation. You're an Ni dom! Analogies that are only relevant to you are how you roll!

    I also think it's unfair to say that every Fe user I have ever met in my entire life was unhealthy. I have simply noticed a pattern of behaviour that they seem to think is completely normal but that I find entirely repulsive. This being the continued imposition of their personal standards onto me and my life.
    Anger is also a feeling.

  9. #159
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Lately I've grown tired of stating the obvious. But, yes.
    Heh. In this thread I have stated the obvious in favor of both Fi and Fe. Does this make me a glutton for punishment as well? Or just a glutton for screaming into voids?

  10. #160
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Heh. In this thread I have stated the obvious in favor of both Fi and Fe. Does this make me a glutton for punishment as well? Or just a glutton for screaming into voids?
    Both. And a pacifist. Got 9?

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