Then I guess you should read the thread.
What I am trying to say is I have seen NFs, especially NFJs (both E and INFJs. I have a lot of them in my life.) complain about how "self absorbed" the other party is while simultaneously positing that they themselves are not that way at all and are constantly striving to be selfless and do things for the good of all. I find that view point to be somewhat, well, self absorbed. There are countless threads begun by E/INFJs on this forum where the central point of discussion is someone else's selfishness. There's one on the first page right now! ("Are selfishness and Fi related?")
You are in fact correct about how E/INFJs differ in their views about selfishness and giving to others. What I have gathered from the contents of this thread is that INFJs perceive selflessness as doing a helpful act for another party for the pure sake of making the other party's life a better place. Apparently this is even more selfless if the help is unsolicited.
What I am arguing is that if this is in fact the case then selflessness should reject any desire for thanks because to do so would be selfish and therefore tarnish the entire act as selfish. I also disapprove of the idea of unsolicited help because I have had NFJs come into my life with a genuine desire to help me (when I didn't think I needed help) and then made everything worse because they didn't understand the entirety of the situation.
Perhaps my understanding of the INFJ concept of selflessness is incorrect in which case I hope that the INFJs on this forum will enlighten me as to what their opinion of selfishness is.