[MBTI General] NF child and fears

[alicia91]

We've been through cloud fears too, though those are usually based on a fear of tornados. Yes, I'm trying to look on the bright side of this and think that having fear is good. it is protective.

When he is unmedicated, it's really bad because then he is both impulsive and fearful which is a scary combination.

 

[amelie]

I'm sure you've already thought of this, but just in case - sleep deprivation can mimic ADD in children: Sleep Deprivation And ADHD - DrGreene.com, so if you son is staying up awake and afraid, that could be cause of some of his ADD and perhaps anxiety symptoms - might be something to bring up with your doctor.

 

[alcea rosea]

Would love to get a bit of feedback about my 11-year old NF son (INFJ, I believe). He is very creative, theoretical and highly imaginative. Unfortunately, his imagination sometimes frightens him and gets in the way of him being more independant. For example, he is very scared of the dark, he claims to 'relive every scary book he's ever read.' He is also disturbed by a lot of what he sees on TV- real and fiction. He saw something about a kid who set a cat on fire, and couldn't get over it for days. He also couldn't sleep at night thinking about the cat.

He's also ADHD, immature for his age and his psychiatrist has wondered if he also has some anxiety. I'm just wondering if some of these things are typical for an INFJ - or are they outside the norm.

Thanks.
Alicia

I suspect my son is INFJ too. My son does not have ADHD but he is what you describe, highly creative, theoretical and highly imaginative. My son imagination also plays tricks with him, in the dark especially.

 

[Skyward]

I feared my closet when I was in the single digits, still do kinda. It is the always-open kind and resembled a big-toothed, moustached face from a childrens horror book that was read to my class in school near halloween. I cant read 'Stories to tell in the dark' because the illustrations make me shiver like wild.

I don't remember many fears besides fear of the darkness and murderers and Mr. Hyde (inspired by a Bugs Bunny cartoon even). I fear silence, I think. I have a fan run in my room at night to cover many creaking sounds. I dont have any lights in my room, but I fear the small ones on my fan and the computers. They look like malevolent eyes at night so I turn them all the way down.

My imagination has died down a lot since I was my little wild (I'm sure I had/have ADD of some kind) self. My parents were very supportive of me (Especially my INFJ father), which helped me grow out of it well.

Letting the little one know you will be there for them and talking with them about what it was that scared them and the hows and whys of the situation is, what I think, the best plan is. All humans work better if they know someone who understands and supports them.

Oh, I think having highly positive pentecostal services every Sunday helped me a lot. The spirit one feels is like a deep-tissue massage of the soul. I knew I had the Biggest Daddy Ever to keep me safe from ghosts and demons and evil things. What do I have to fear if God's my bodyguard?

 

[Tiny Army]

I was distinctly "not afraid of anything" as a child. My brothers spent so much time trying to frighten me when I was young that I think I just became braver to spite them.

I was however very sensitive to the pain of other people. Most movies made me cry and when my mother pointed out that none of it was real I responded with whatever the 6 year old variant of "that doesn't make it any less sad" was. I remember the hardest thing for me as an NF child was feeling as though I wasn't being listened to and like my feelings or thoughts weren't as important as those of others. Listen to your child's fears and try to get him to explore and vocalise why he is afraid. I know that breaking down the reasons for things often made me feel better as a child.

 

[Thalassa]

Sounds extremely NF to me. Perhaps you should control how much disturbing shit he's bombarded with since it bothers him so much - I don't think that requires a psychiatrist, I think that just requires some peace and quiet. Our society is in INFORMATION OVERLOAD. Just because a child is sensitive to something (info overload) which is inherently unnatural and unhealthy doesn't make him crazy, it means the world's gone crazy.

Everything about him sounds like a normal, sensitive, intelligent NF child except for the ADD. I personally think that children should be kept away from psychiatric meds at all costs unless they're completely schizophrenic or sociopathic. Could do more harm than good, but therapy might help with the ADD.

BTW, more boys are "immature" for their age at 11 than girls. It's common, and not freakish or anything.

 

[alicia91]

Thanks again everyone.

remember the hardest thing for me as an NF child was feeling as though I wasn't being listened to and like my feelings or thoughts weren't as important as those of others. Listen to your child's fears and try to get him to explore and vocalise why he is afraid. I know that breaking down the reasons for things often made me feel better as a child.

Yes, breaking down the reasons does seem to help. It seems that much of it stems from a fear of seperating from his father and me. Like the fact that he is really fearful about my health and worries that I'll die.

BTW, more boys are "immature" for their age at 11 than girls. It's common, and not freakish or anything.

True. It's just that he is so unhappy about his fears, that I worry. I mean, it seems that he values his imagination when he's writing, sculpting, building something cool with Lego - but he has also cried and said that he wishes that his imagination would turn off.