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[ENFP] ENFPs - what do you look for in a relationship?

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Qualities, quirks, turn-offs, turn-ons, dealbreakers? Anything specific?

There are threads like this on the other NFs, but none on ENFPs (that I know of), so I thought I'd start one :)

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And weee, my 1,000th post :static:

It only took me almost a year to get here.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Acceptance, openmindedness, loyalty, respect for each other and each others space for starters...

I like to be challenged, so I tend to go for someone who's able to put me in my place intellectually and is able to banter with me. And, someone who isn't afraid of actually putting me in my place when needed. Am a big fan of the stern, arrogant exterior with the soft mushy heart on the inside :blush:

Flaws or quirks are very much appreciated as they are often so endearing :D

Turn-ons include once again intelligence,bluntness/honesty, confidence/arrogance, a certain dominance, the ability to banter and the ability to be ok with being vulnerable and having flaws.

Turn-offs include rigidity, being uncomfortable with things you don't know/ people you don't relate to, bullying, hounding others, and not caring about the fact that others just have as much right to be on this planet as you do.

Dealbreakers include cheating, lying, treating me like a child, constantly telling me what to do, using a disrespectful/demeaning tone of voice with me and too much jealousy. Jealousy can be endearing, but at least have control over it.

Ultimately, it comes down to someone who won't judge me for my flaws, and will appreciate my strengths. Someone who is able to compensate for my flaws with his strengths and not too proud to let me offset his flaws with my strengths. Someone who has a matching set of values to mine. And someone who's willing to form a very intense bond with me, who is willing to look beyond the facade and make an effort to see me for who I am, and allow me access to his inner core too.
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
3,053
MBTI Type
E.T.
Enneagram
7w8
Qualities: I'm pretty easily satisfied. If someone is kind and loyal to me, accepts me for who I am and doesn't treat me like a psychopath/whore/cash machine/slave/"kind of a sister"/baby/chihuaua, I'm happy.
Quirks: Love 'em!
Turn-offs: People who can't have fun, people who get over-emotional all the time, wiggers, emos, wannabe-emos, people who are way older or younger than I am (prefer the same age), vain and "feminine" men, people who buy me champagne or roses (o please, spend your money on something useful or meaningful or at least something that you can keap for a long time, where in a recession!!!), perfect people (I prefer people with flaws, flaws make people beautiful), people who talk about all of their sexual experiences a lot, people who had too many sex partners, people who can't love anyway, a bit of shyness, nonchalance, an "I don't care what anyone thinks"-attidude etc.
Turn-ons: Sexy eyebrows (I know, it's weird, but I analysed all the people who I've found attractive in my whole life, and this was the only thing that they all had), a Ne kind of humor, intelligence (as long as I stay the smarter one!!!), sweetness, quirks.
Dealbreakers: Treating me like a psychopath/whore/cash machine/slave/"kind of a sister"/baby/chihuaua, talking too much about past sexual experiences, inappropriate violent behaviour.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
What kind of quirks do you find endearing?

Quirks in general..things that are typically them. But for instance introverts can be quite endearing, as they can often appear aloof and shy. Others are adorably clumsy. Blushing easily and feeling a little uncomfortable while exhilarated are some of my fav things to cause in others. Love those that are susceptable to this :D
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Quirks in general..things that are typically them. But for instance introverts can be quite endearing, as they can often appear aloof and shy. Others are adorably clumsy. Blushing easily and feeling a little uncomfortable while exhilarated are some of my fav things to cause in others. Love those that are susceptable to this :D

Aha. That must be why I attract all the ENFPs; I'm aloof, shy, and clumsy. I knew you guys were evil :dry:
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Aha! So this is actually a "why do I attract these freaks?" thread?
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
Where's all the guy ENFP's at? haha seems like its only girl enfp's here...

Me... it depends on what kind of relationship im looking for/falls into my lap.
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
haha

1) hit it and quit it
- Hot, nice body, easy come easy go personality, fun, or depending how easy it is, you can lower your "standards" accordingly... but for me i'd always at least have to enjoy SOMEWHAT being around this person. I don't lie to this type about what I expect though... although if I am confused, I am definitely confused.

2) girlfriend
- at least decent education, not slept around enough so i envision other guy's sperm on my penis, + requirements for #1
- requirements for #1 can be replaced to some degree with requirements for #3

3) wifey
- good motherly, patient type. funny, someone I can look up to in regards to her decisions in life, clean, classy look, knows how to be spontaneous yet also know how to plan things, no baggage, very lovable type of personality, i mean, this list can go on, but I think its pretty stereotypical guy type stuff. =)


additional: good friend to her girlfriends/family, talented in at least one thing where she is THE BEST (can be video games lol, fashion, math, drawing, watever... as long as she is GOOD and very talented at it), has a "wise" point of view when it comes to group situations etc...
 

ergophobe

Allergic to Mornings
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
Messages
1,210
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Turn-ons:
1. A bright mind that is open to new ideas
2. A kind spirit
3. Unexpected Shyness (Both extroverts and introverts can have this depending on the situation)
4. The ability to engage me on a subject without judgment (especially when I am on an Ne frenzy)
5. A weird and endearing sense of humor -- could be totally inappropriate but not hurtful
6. Someone who is comfortable in their own skin - this is reflected in the way people dress, carry themselves, talk with a quiet confidence. Even better when the person is able to show vulnerability.
7. Must bring passion to the table (for ideas, desires, work) – whatever fuels the passion but there should be some.
8. An adventurous spirit , spontaneity, wanderlust.
9. Someone who understands the importance of finding both an intellectual and emotional connection.
10. Someone who matches my intensity with their own in new and amazing ways.

Turn-offs
1. Bad conversationalists: bad listeners, people who don't ask reciprocal questions.
2. Close-mindedness
3. Arrogance that is not backed by skill/knowledge.
4. I'm with seeker on the clingy-ness.
5. Yet, there is also such a thing as terrible/too little communication = bad emotional connection
6. Forever critical/judgmental of my way of life
 

seeker22

New member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
173
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Turn Ons:

1) Intellectual curiosity
2) Ability to engage in wit and banter/"hold their own"
3) A good attitude (negativity/pessimism = icky b/c we see possibility everywhere)
4) Quirky, dry, silly, or offbeat sense of humor w/innuendo and nuance
5) Sensuality
6) Someone who can hold up their end of the conversation w/out hogging or being mute - someone who finds the balance
7) Someone who allows me autonomy
8) Someone who engages my mind and curiosity by posing questions
9) Quiet confidence/comfortable in own skin, carries self with poise or ease
10) Ability to think outside the box/challenge me/debate with me

Turn Offs:

1) Bragging/Know it alls
2) Unable to uphold their end of a conversation (ex. replying with "yeah, totally" to whatever I say.) I want someone who CONTRIBUTES - even if you disagree with me I will welcome what you have to say and respect it. I despise it when someone agrees with whatever I say all the time.
3) Extremely critical or negative people (typically we look for best in others)
4) Clingy-ness (new word)
5) Whining/complaining rather than solutions focused
6) Liars/Poor character
7) Judgemental or won't 'live and let live' as long as no one is being harmed
8) Rigidity or believing there is only "one right way" to do something
9) Anyone who attempts to exert control over me or rob me of my autonomy
10) Emotionally immaturity or instability, or engages in emotional blackmail such as pouting, sulking, etc. rather than communicate and work it out and find a win/win.
 

Nonsensical

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
4,006
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
I'm not too picky, but a few general but highly necessary aspects are completely needed.

Love. It must be a true love thing, without question.
Truth. We need to be completely true to eachother, but that's obvious.
Real. It needs to be 100% real, with no strings attached.
And Action. Love is action and not just something you say. Action even physical outcome are necessary to me in a relationship, and not just saying, but doing.
 

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
There needs to be more ENFPs where I live then. I don't relate well to the ones that jump me :D
 

Nillerz

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
391
MBTI Type
ENFP
I look for a girl who is attractive, puts out after a few days/dates, and is easy to get to but not too hard to ignore.
 
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