Congrats for finding a type that feels like home.
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I just wanted to add - in determining your E/I often it's about what you wish you were more like or not like. And what others do to you.
My mom as I was growing up always tried to quash my extroversion because she was so introverted (and judgemental but she is INTP, I have had a lot of experience in close personal relationships with INTPs and y'all are some judgemental mofos!!! INTJs are just less sentimental about it. LOL) Didn't work. You can't extinguish the essential qualities of who people are a their core, though people can learn to hide and mask things.
Growing up, I always wished I were more extraverted - meaning I hated feeling social anxiety because I absolutely craved and thrived on A LOT of social interaction and involvement with events, groups, etc. I wanted to see it all and dive right in. And then I would curse that desire, that need to be with the world. Becaues being an extrovert with social anxiety is HORRIBLE. I didn't necessarily feel pressure from the world to come out more and be an extravert, it was my own personal need and desire and I knew that. I wanted to excel as an extrarted person, my ideals of who I should be hinged on being very confident and socially commanding. * my parents never really tried to steer me one way or the other. So i just feel comfortable in my skin. Of course society like school gave me speech class cause i never really spoke much. Like i would point to the paper i was handing in and that's it xDD. Teacher would always try to get me to verbalize what i want haha. I do like external validation to the point where it seems i'm externally motivated like stuff outside me keeps me going forward. I think that's why i have had such hard time now cause i have to look within to find what i want so it's taking alittle longer heh. Pretty balanced i'd say probably more eNFP but the theory fits hehe Inferior Si big time xDDD *does a tornado impression ^^DD*
I'm sure many introverts and hell, TEENAGERS have these ideals but I also knew that my desires were unusual and unusually strong compared to my peer group. I knew a lot of introverts that seemed very comfortable not being in the lime light or hanging back I
had to speak up in class and say my mind and I wanted to know everyone in school and be known and I actually worked towards that (student government, being chatty, etc.)
* yeah i can see that cause your a teen and such, especially with peer pressure to "fit in" but see the funny thing is i was comfortable in my own skin enough i never let peer pressure have any influence on my decisions. I was just me lol. I think people saw that too hence i had friends from any so called "group" i never gave a rats booty who was popular and blah blah blah. I just saw the person and i also never felt like i had to validate myself kinda. Like if people can't except who i am and just judge not going to spend any time on that etc. Focus on the people that get me ^^DD and anyone else who is receptive.
I think my chemicals might have been off? LOL. *hehe*
Into my early 20s I often wished that I didn't need that extrernal validation and interaction so much. I wished I could be content and satisfied more as an observer - because it is TIRING to be an extravert sometimes! It's work to satisfy all these competiting interests and focus. There are a lot of internally set up hoops to jump through. I know part of that is Ne.
Buuuut, yeah, does that help any?
* can you describe internally set up hoops to jump through in accordance to external validation?*
My brother is a deep introvert as are both my parents. The level of socialization, friends, kinds of hobbies that they need compared to myself are very different.
Also, as children my INTP brother would hang on to my mother and be much more fearful of social places and generally quiet. I was always running
away from my mother literally and getting into trouble and trying to talk to all the adults and children. My brother was content playing by himself or at length with one or two toys. My mother says even as a 5 year old I was always "busy, on the go, and had things to do".
I think as children if left in a relatively safe environment your true temperaments show and later manifest again as adults.