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  1. #61
    Senior Member rainoneventide's Avatar
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    I'm not trying to gather a pity party or anything, but I always think I'm extremely bland and boring when I'm around others. So then I feel like I need to do something to entertain them and make them happy, but that only stresses me out more, so in the end I become boring because I don't know how to open up and be myself without risking the pain of rejection. All the walls go up. I always feel like I need to be more, I need to be better.

    I think the best advise for fellow INFP's out there is to say in your mind "screw this". Seriously. Just try and stop worrying about being perceived as boring. Instead of labeling yourself, try to be more objective and think--I'm not boring, that guy is just too fucking hard to amuse.

    I've been trying to practice what I preach more, and it feels much better. With the newfangled "screw this" philosophy, I become less stressed and anxious, and then my real self slowly emerges. It's not about being more fun, it's about realizing that you shouldn't give a shit about what people think, because people are going to think whatever they want to think no matter what you think. ...

    I also try to remember past, positive encounters with others. They're just little things, but they make me feel good.

    I definitely feel more at ease once I manage to give myself more credit.
    Last edited by rainoneventide; 06-30-2009 at 05:18 PM.
    "So I say, live and let live. Thats my motto. Live and let live.
    Anyone who cant go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker."
    - George Carlin

  2. #62
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Would also like to add if you can write more than a page about your life then you ain't boring, and every person can.

    Boring is a subjective term really, what is boring to one person is a gem to the next.
    Usually introversion tends to shine less than extroversion since the energy is different in expressing and processing information. Place brain mapping equipment to learn the kind of activity that is happening then a completely different picture unfolds.

  3. #63
    Member nasmoe's Avatar
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    I enjoy everything I do on my own time so technically no, but to others, sure.

  4. #64
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    INFPs are boring when they lose confidence or don't feel safe to come out of their shell. They will withdraw and remain very silent and still, not unlike a turtle into its shell, and not come out again until they feel its safe to play.

    Withdrawal is a common safety mechanism it's just that being already baseline shy, INFPs doing it a lot means that people around them (except for the kindred spirits who can sense their real personalities under the surface) will never really see the actual INFP, just their game-safety face.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #65
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainoneventide View Post
    I'm not trying to gather a pity party or anything, but I always think I'm extremely bland and boring when I'm around others..
    See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I think INFPs are humble (which is a positive trait) but lacking confidence is the pebble in your shoe. You get on a self-defeating loop the way INTPs do (but with them it's about lack of competency or some other 'worst case scenario' loop) and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    I've dated at least one INFP who said those exact words, "I'm actually a pretty boring person. I'm not that interesting". I think she really believed that and it caused all kinds of problems (amongst other things) because she had all these confidence and even trust issues that was compounded by INFP need for reassurance.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #66
    Member pockets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainoneventide View Post
    I'm not trying to gather a pity party or anything, but I always think I'm extremely bland and boring when I'm around others. So then I feel like I need to do something to entertain them and make them happy, but that only stresses me out more, so in the end I become boring because I don't know how to open up and be myself without risking the pain of rejection. All the walls go up. I always feel like I need to be more, I need to be better.

    I think the best advise for fellow INFP's out there is to say in your mind "screw this". Seriously. Just try and stop worrying about being perceived as boring. Instead of labeling yourself, try to be more objective and think--I'm not boring, that guy is just too fucking hard to amuse.

    I've been trying to practice what I preach more, and it feels much better. With the newfangled "screw this" philosophy, I become less stressed and anxious, and then my real self slowly emerges. It's not about being more fun, it's about realizing that you shouldn't give a shit about what people think, because people are going to think whatever they want to think no matter what you think. ...

    I also try to remember past, positive encounters with others. They're just little things, but they make me feel good.

    I definitely feel more at ease once I manage to give myself more credit.
    pretty much the same experience for me.
    i actually think 'screw this' too.
    ain't over till it's over.

  7. #67
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    [QUOTE=rainoneventide;719132] I always think I'm extremely bland and boring when I'm around others. So then I feel like I need to do something to entertain them and make them happy, but that only stresses me out more, so in the end I become boring because I don't know how to open up and be myself without risking the pain of rejection. All the walls go up. I always feel like I need to be more, I need to be better.

    OMG, I sooo relate to this! I just had this experience, and am so glad I am not the only one, that there is another person out there who has experienced this same thing. I guess my conclusion is similar to yours...screw it! As a wise person once told me, I was not put on this earth to please other people, so who cares what they think.

    Also, interaction is a two-way street. Maybe I feel boring because the other person has not found a way to draw me out. INFP's spend most of their time living inside their heads, BUT we can become very animated and passionate about things we care deeply about. Perhaps if we feel "boring" around certain individuals, it's because we don't have enough things in common, or the other person hasn't hit on the topics we care most about.

  8. #68
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    I think it's the combination of introspection (I), concept-focus (N), inner-feeling (Fi), and non-closure-oriented P that create the situation of INFPs being a little harder to spark mutual exchange with. The introspection makes you largely internal-self-focused, and your strongest convictions are based in personal feeling, which is often hard to share about in the first place, much less is it always well-understood by the world. The external focus that you do have is Ne, which means that you're mostly looking at patterns and atmospheres, and not attending to the concrete reality that others can easily engage with as well. And finally, the lack of J means unlike INFJs, you exhibit less of a major drive to actively change the external world (their Ni/Fe combo). In this way I would say INFPs are the most cognitively "removed" of all the types from the tangible world, and simultaneously, then, the hardest to engage with. However, that doesn't mean that engagement with you is not very rewarding! Plus being the most removed has an equal benefit, which is that of not being limited by the tangible world and therefore being able to be the most idealistic of the types, the ones who are best able to envision and strive for the highest betterment of humanity. INFPs are sort of the most "pure" of the types.

  9. #69
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    AW man, boring?-no way.
    My love of INFP's is no secret in this here microcosm, the only thing i ever find difficult is their self deprecating. Oh i have had some of the most fascinating talks with our choice selection.
    So many super duper interesting INFP's here.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  10. #70
    Senior Member Joehobo's Avatar
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    Only boring people find me boring.

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