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[MBTI General] Elder advice wanted

Jonathanthegreat

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2009
Messages
166
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Hello I'm 23 and I'd like to have some wisdom from people older than me about life. Basically, tell me something you wish someone had told you when you were younger that would benefit me. What had you wished you'd done? It can relate to careers, money, success, love, maintaining good health, relationships, etc. If you are a christian give me some Godly wisdom as well. ANY and all wisdom is appreciated. Thank you loves :wubbie:
 
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Phantonym

Guest
Basically, listen to your elders! They might have some valuable information you can use. No thanks needed :laugh:
 

MonkeyGrass

New member
Joined
Jun 13, 2009
Messages
877
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
7
Banish pride from your personal relationships. Keep humor and lightheartedness alive in your romance, so you can draw on it during conflicts. You can get through pretty much anything with someone if you're willing to really listen, admit your error and keep your humor. :heart:

Live a hair under your means, and get that money into a decent savings/investment deal. Ask for help, if you need it.

And since you're a fellow FNJ: Know how to differentiate between your responsibilities and those of others. Learn how to establish good relational boundaries, and know what you'll do if someone crosses those. Do that consistently, and people won't mess with your head nearly as often. :tongue:

Surround yourself with people who will be honest with you, and who give sound advice.
 

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Well I'm 24.
Very much your elder so you listen here young man.

You listen here. (Shakes finger in Jonathan's face)




eh. I got nothin. Ask me when i'm older.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Take a good read through Proverbs and Eccesiastes, good stuff in there. Make sure you take breaks between chapters or several verses to allow for absorption and contemplation. Prayer for God's help in getting what you need out of it also helps.
 
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Phantonym

Guest
Banish pride from your personal relationships. Keep humor and lightheartedness alive in your romance, so you can draw on it during conflicts. You can get through pretty much anything with someone if you're willing to really listen, admit your error and keep your humor.

Yes :yes: That's really good advice!
 

Nighthawk

New member
Joined
May 23, 2007
Messages
423
MBTI Type
INTP
Take more calculated risks when younger, such as starting your own business or investing. It is much easier to recover from a loss early in life and you will learn a lot along the way ... which will make you more successful the second and third time around. I often wish I had travelled the road of my own business, but it is too late now as I don't have the time to rebound from a loss or failure

Relationships take work, but good ones are worth every bit of the effort. Don't become complacent in a relationship that you value. Make the effort to mix things up and add excitement. Grow together with the changes.

Cultivate your weaker functions and try to step outside of your comfort zone as often as possible. Using myself as an example, I am an extreme introvert, so I forced myself into situations early in life where I was required to interact with many people and/or speak in front of large groups. Although I never became a natural, I did improve greatly ... which really boosted my confidence level. The more you step outside of your comfort zone, the more you will grow as an individual.

Travel as much as you can. Do it early in life. Once you start a family, you will lose that opportunity. Seeing the world will broaden you in a manner that is difficult to explain, but is highly advantageous. Exposure to other venues and cultures expands the mind and opens you up to greater opportunities.

Get it all out of your system. Do the things you dream of early in life, before you get bogged down with excessive responsibilities and your metabolism starts to slow down. I have a lot of friends now (in our late 40s) who lament that they wish they had done this or that ... but it is often too late. Alright, maybe not too late as we're not THAT old ... but it sure feels like it at times ;)
 

ring the bell

New member
Joined
Jun 10, 2008
Messages
332
I say just live! Wake up everyday with the expectation that you will gain something great from the experience of just stepping out of your bed. Take life's sorrows as they come and gain as much knowledge from the experience as you can. Appreciate people because of their differences from yourself. Put yourself in other's shoes at every chance and at least try to understand their viewpoint before you decide to judge negatively. Be kind to other's every chance you get.. you never know when someone might really need that random smile from a stranger.

Most importantly, as far as I'm concerned: always seek truth. Never take it for granted and never assume without really knowing. There are a lot of people out there who sound awfully convincing, but follow your gut and live a life standing up for your values.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yes, the book of Proverbs has excellent advice for everyone, Christian or no. There is a lot of wisdom there.

Be open to advice and get it from a variety of sources. If it is wrong, you can consider it, figure out why you could argue it is inaccurate and feel more convinced of your correct decision. If it is right, it will save you years of pain and trouble, you will prosper and you will be even more convinced of why this was the right way to take. It does not hurt to have an informal committee of "sober second thought", as our senate is supposed to be by definition. These are people who have a reason to want your life to well and who have invested in your in some way. These people may have experience in different areas and can be someone to run any major decisions past to see if there is anything you may have missed in your considerations. Any good decision can withstand scrutiny!

Your pride is of very little use to you and will hold you back in nearly every area of life. Learn to admit your mistakes and say when you are sorry. People will respect you for your humility and courage!

Establish a circle of friends who have different kinds of knowledge, skills, perspectives or qualities that you can access, whether it is how to fix a car, where to find the best deals, legal or business advice, medical help or whatever else. These may include a variety of age groups, backgrounds and personality types. Think also what kind of collateral you yourself bring to the aquaintanceship or friendship.

Don't get in bed with anyone that you couldn't see having a child with. It's a natural outcome of that activity and with even the best laid plans of mice and men - well, accidents do happen.

Get involved with people from all generations in some way. Whether you are single or married, you can bless the life of someone in the next generation and get a lot out of it yourself in return. Look for friends your own age, but also cultivate friendships with people from your parents' and even grandparents' generation. They have perspectives that you will not encounter by only sticking to people your own age. Your extended family is a goldmine. Seldom will you see the lives of friends or acquaintances close up in the way you can with your family. I have learned a lot of both what to do and how to avoid badness through observation how those decisions worked for the people in my extended family. This also covers the intergenerational involvement.

Learn all you can, wherever you can, from whomever you can. You don't know when you will need that information, even if it totally unrelated to what you are doing right now. Learning to play guitar one year while I was subbing, or getting a scholarship for a two week course in something I wasn't trained for or thought I'd need ended up getting me two of the jobs I have been happiest in. One man we know who later became a missionary never expected that he would need to learn to pull teeth and do dental work in the mountains of Peru! Also, even negative examples of leadership or bad experiences can teach you just as much as good things. Don't miss the lesson!

Resign yourself to the fact that there will always be one person at least in your life that will put sand in the gears for you. They will bother and annoy and be unfair to you. Learn now how to handle it, instead of railing against it or wishing that part of your life away. If you don't fight it, they will rub off your rough edges and actually bless your life!

Have a thankful heart. My mother used to say, "A person who isn't thankful has too much of something". I think she was very right and I have found that the more sincere gratitude you develop, the happier you are and more good things come your way. Let people know when you are thankful to them. In all situations there is something that you can find to be grateful for.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
Oh! And what Nighthawk said! Great advice.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Don't rush into getting serious in relationships. (i got married at 20, you already beat my record)

Don't expect to live in the clouds all the time, spiritually. Find ways to make your faith "real" without getting caught up in the "perfect" trap.
 

Nighthawk

New member
Joined
May 23, 2007
Messages
423
MBTI Type
INTP
Don't rush into getting serious in relationships. (i got married at 20, you already beat my record)

Must agree with this one. I got married at 21 and was a father at 22. It was not a smooth ride and we had to sacrifice a lot on a relatively low income. On the flip side however, the kids were grown and out of the house when we hit our early 40's. Now we can travel and enjoy life more with a bit more income. Now if I could just get some time off.
 

Jonathanthegreat

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2009
Messages
166
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Don't rush into getting serious in relationships. (i got married at 20, you already beat my record)

Don't expect to live in the clouds all the time, spiritually. Find ways to make your faith "real" without getting caught up in the "perfect" trap.

please tell me more about this.
 
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