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Thread: Life long INTJ Friend Lost

  1. #21
    triple nerd score Array poppy's Avatar
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    May 2009


    I agree with Lethe, although your comment about your sister in law came off as callous, I can't see an INTJ becoming so upset about it that they would end their friendship with you, so chances are there were other factors involved for him (probably other issues in your friendship). Personally I don't always find it that easy to break it off with a friend, especially one I've been very close to, and I've resorted to a similar method of avoidance. If you want to be able repair the relationship in the future, you might try to get a little closure now, but don't push too hard as he might find it threatening. It's possible that your friend will realize (maybe in quite a while) that your companionship is still a valid and good thing in his life. Then again, it's possible that he won't, and you shouldn't be expected to wait around with your heart open until then.
    But yes, sometimes INTJs will ditch out of a relationship, especially if the person involved complicates their life...and it isn't really very considerate, but I promise it wasn't an easy decision for your friend to make, if in fact he's completely written you off.

  2. #22
    Banned Array
    Join Date
    Apr 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by sabastious View Post
    My relationship with my INTJ friend has been rocky the past few months so I decided to call him out of the blue today and see if I could patch things up a bit. The convo went like this:

    Me: Hey Friend(his name), it's Alex

    Friend: What's up (with a very short and pissed off tone)

    Me: Hey man, havn't talked with you in a while, just wanted to say hi

    Friend: Yeah (again, very short)

    Awkward silence

    Me: Uhhh, so how you doin?

    Friend: Look, I'm in the middle of something I gotta go.

    Me: Ok..... cya

    Hang up.

    I havn't talked to him in a good 3 months. The last few phone convos have been pretty similer, but this one was more passive agressive than usual.

    We used to joke that we have been friend since the womb because we were born only a week apart and grew up together, seriously best friends.

    It's sad because he has never came to me with the obvious issues he has with me. I know he has heard some stuff about me, but not from me, and I know his sources are pretty bias since they have major ulterior motives.

    But my main issue, is that if he wants to end the 25 year friendship, just tell me. Send me a letter or something, I think it's cowardly to just brush me off and say "he is doing something right now" or whatever. That's the kind of respect I get? That's how he wants a 25 year friendship to end? It's baffeling.

    I have tried to get information out of him, but he's not interested in talking, he's kind of made up his mind based on heresay
    Your success or failure hinge on what his decision is.

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