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  1. #51
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Hommefatal, how old are you?

    I can relate, honestly, though. I'm not just saying that, I do a lot of the things you do.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  2. #52
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Personally, I'd also keep the information to myself until we're more acquainted. Since they don't know you well enough, they only have their instincts and previous experiences as references. This can lead to misinterpretations, so vigilance about the timing is highly recommended, IMO.

    Quote Originally Posted by hommefatal View Post
    For me it increases the level of intimacy. And I really love intimacy.
    My ENFP friends desire the same thing -- they thrive on deep connections. For this reason, they're very willing to open up their own lives to other people. The behavior tends to attract numerous individuals to them and sometimes, they don't consciously acknowledge the influencial power they have.

    Become the best person you possibly can and see what happens after. You can't make someone like you, but you can be a good friend when they need one. (This includes valuing their space. Some require more of it than others.) If they respond with interest, then that's the moment where you should make a direct move.
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  3. #53
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    I don't think you're sick. So, therefore not everyone does.

    SO THERE. YOUR LOGIC SUXORZ.

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  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I think some of it is a lack of social discretion.

    If you want to look up online information on someone, fine.
    I do that sometimes, out of curiosity.
    But usually only stalkers actually go TELL the person everything they found out.
    Such information might give you some ideas on what to talk to them about, but usually you should "reacquire the information legitimately" -- i.e., by talking to them directly and having THEM tell you -- before you start bringing up details in conversation.

    So... what sort of reaction do you expect?
    It sounds almost like you're trying to instigate a reaction from them...?
    +1

    Although they should realize how easy it is for people to look up information on them if they've put it out there. But people don't always respond logically in human interactions. In fact most of the time they don't.

  5. #55
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    It's easy to stalk "elaur." What would be weird is someone stalking me online and then telling me about it. I figure some people here have looked up stuff on me and know more than they tell me. You just usually don't admit to being stalkery. It does seem a little strange to be that way about someone you are just meeting. Why would you have that level of curiosity about so many people?

    Btw, It doesn't increase the level of intimacy when it's one sided. It's only intimate if both people are into it.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Ya, but patience can be a cruel enemy
    but rushing it isn't going to make it happen any faster...you can't force someone to like you or love you or trust you...no matter how much information you collect

  7. #57
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    This seems like it might be related to intensity and wording, and the randomness of your approach. What you do, who you tell, is slightly important - but your bearing, wording, and manner of approach is how they will take it.

    What of the fact that ye're making a first impression upon these people?

    For most - not me, I adore it - but most, from what I have seen are put off or unnerved a little bit by deep interaction the first (or few) time ye're talking to them. If they feel ye're blindsiding them and they're not in the mood or somesuch, you can be put on a "weird and avoid" list.

    So make it light. Deep content, light mood. If you're just curious about someone and show it.

    Just a thought.

    I always wonder how much backstory to give for context when I say something like this. Hmm.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Hommefatal, how old are you?

    I can relate, honestly, though. I'm not just saying that, I do a lot of the things you do.
    15. I am totally immoral, lol. Since some said totally random, it's not actually like that. It's only if I find someone attractive but that occurs quite often

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